We know better

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002
We know better
Sat, 03-09-2013 - 10:04am

Yet another mother who tried desperately to breastfeed, had troubles and eventually quit.  Twice ~ with her first child and again with her second child.  Is anyone in a position to say yet again this is another mom who didn't try hard enough, and we know better?

http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/the-purple-fig/women-struggling-to-breastfeed_b_2820088.html ("Breastfeeding Sucks")


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Fri, 03-15-2013 - 7:06pm
Gosh, inhoecthe baby was inhaling more air than breast milk. Babies are not supposed to inhale breast milk.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2008
Thu, 03-21-2013 - 1:54am

The average new mom in Africa faced with breastfeeding or with foamy water the color brown, tainted with feces and toxins, quickly picks up on breastfeeding without a college degrees man or woman who went on to what you would consider adequate, not inadequate?, "training in breastfeeding management."

There are two key reasons the average mother in Africa does not need access to LC's and such to successfully BF. First, since BF is the norm among the poor and tribal mothers of Africa, mothers generally can turn to their mom, sister, aunts, or other mothers with experience with breastfeeding. In the U.S. many moms who try BF do not have mothers or other family members who successfully BF if they even tried. This means the knowledge about dealing with BF problems did not get passed down from generation to generation as it does in Africa. Because of that we moms in the U.S. rely on specially trained L.C.'s and LLL leaders and such. The other reasons we are a different from Africa is that most of our births our very medicalized unlike in Africa. There is solid evidence that certain hospital and birth practices can have an negative impact on likelihood of BF success, especially without expert help in overcoming these difficulties.


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2008
Thu, 03-21-2013 - 2:59am

Question:  Suppose there is a mom in Sweden and she does not want to even try to breastfeed, but instead want to use formula from the start.   (I understand that few women in Sweden would be in this position, but there must be some.  Maybe an immigrant from America.)  What happens when she is in the hospital?  

My understanding of how the Swedish maternity wards work is that a mom who chooses to FF can do so witout interference from the hospital. Most moms BF in Sweden becuase it's the norm, not due to any law or regulations requiring them too.

Also: I think it's confusing that you are bringing babies not being allowed to leave until they're well cared for in this discussion, or moms abandoning their babies at the hospital.  I don't know what that has to do with the situation.  None of the moms we've been discussing have any intention of voluntarily leaving their babies at the hospital or not caring well for their babies.

I think in this case the concern is making sure the baby is leaving getting proper nutrition. If the mom is trying to BF then they want to ensure that the it's is going well before the mom and baby are released. They don't want to send them home with major BF issue to be worked out after the fact if where there is a potential for the baby to end up back in the hospital dehydrated. If the mom decides to FF then I doubt they would force the mom to stay in the hospital as long as the baby was being properly fed formula. But since so few moms choose to FF, generally I presume most Swedish mom's want to be successfully BF'ing before leaving the hospital. Maybe their are moms in Sweden who want to FF but don't due to BF being the norm just as their are moms in the U.S. who FF solely becuase that is the norm in their community.

I think the Swedish policy is better then what some hospitals are doing in the U.S. with new moms where they either send the mom on their way even though their baby is not BF'ing well yet or force them to give formula to their baby without much effort to help them resolve their BF issues.


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2010
Mon, 03-25-2013 - 10:21am
kevali2010 wrote:
<p>I also find it ironic that the OP seems aghast at the idea of "we know better" than the woman in the article, yet she seems to know better how my child was faring because I was determined to breastfeed him exclusively. hmmmmmmm...</p>

{{The article discussed the opposite ~ making sure the baby was fed.  Breastmilk or formula.}}

The opposite of what? If you think I was discussing making sure the baby was NOT fed, then my point went zooming by you.

{{ Your post said <<My firstborn had an improper latch and it took weeks to correct it. I didn't give up or give in, even though there were plenty of people who told me that it was OK to give him formula. It was OK to give up, formula wasn't poison, it would be fine, I should stop being a martyr...Hey! I could write my own article about how guilty those people made ME feel!>> }}

I know what my post said, I wrote it. :D

{{You said there were people telling you to give the baby formula.}}

That's correct. And YOU are the one who inferred from that that I must not have been giving him enough breastmilk. It's funny how people jump to that conclusion, and yet it's the so-called militant breastfeeders who are accused of inferring things about those who use formula. :) You jumped right into "OMG, you let your baby STARVE HOW COULD YOU!!!" instead of maybe asking a few questions. People told me it was OK to give up, because I made the mistake of venting about how much my boobs hurt. Not because my poor little baby was all shriveled up and starving to death. @@

You implied in this thread that you are familiar with the threads on this board. If that is truly the case, then you undoubtedly have read about, oh a bajillion times, that new moms are often told "it's OK to give your baby formula" by well-meaning people who just don't understand how important it is to her that she establishes this breastfeeding relationship. Telling her (when she truly wants to make breastfeeding work and there is no reason why it can't) that she should just give in and feed that baby is counter-productive. Yes, the baby will get a full belly, but now exclusive breastfeeding has been compromised. The baby's gut flora has been altered. If this is something the new mom feels strongly about, then she should be able to get the help she needs to make breastfeeding work, not be scolded for making da poor baby starve when no such thing is happening.

{{  Some of my friends had gone thru "improper latch".  I heard the terrible sound of a hungry, exhausted baby inhaling more air than breastmilk.  A sound I hope never to hear again. }}

Like bordwithyou said, baby should not be "inhaling" breastmilk. I am sure that your friends who went through improper latch had different experiences than I did, and did what they felt was best. I wouldn't second-guess their choices, although I hope they got the help they needed with whatever choice they made.

And by the way, I've heard many crying newborns--hundreds of them. Kudos to you for knowing which cries are from "exhaustion and hunger"  vs. oh, let's say discomfort; or a wet diaper; or an upset tummy from overfeeding; or being cold; or maybe unfamiliar people with their big faces inches away. @@  I could distinguish my own babies' cries within a week or so. My friends' babies? I guess I would not ever be so bold as to assume I knew exactly what the cries meant, especially years later.

Sorry it took me a week to get back to this; I was off the grid. I really should unplug more often! :)