We know better

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002
We know better
64
Sat, 03-09-2013 - 10:04am

Yet another mother who tried desperately to breastfeed, had troubles and eventually quit.  Twice ~ with her first child and again with her second child.  Is anyone in a position to say yet again this is another mom who didn't try hard enough, and we know better?

http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/the-purple-fig/women-struggling-to-breastfeed_b_2820088.html ("Breastfeeding Sucks")

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2010
Wed, 03-13-2013 - 2:25pm

"And since we are not taught  to have a choice, for us it normality  MOST people  wants to breastfed , it seen as a normal part of   being a mother, nothing special or fantastic, it is normal here."

Right now in the U.S., most people want to breastfeed (at least at first), and breastfeeding is viewed as normal/essential among certain subsets of women.  But breastfeeding is not supported by the culture at large or by institutions  (by maternity leave, well-educated medical personnel, positive attitudes toward nursing in public, etc.).  So it becomes something that many or most people think they should do but cannot do, which leads to all kinds of problems. 

"This is were we differ in our mindsets and cultures, what we see as help and support, you seams to see as invasion of privacy."

Yes.  My impression is that, in general, Americans place a particularly high value on privacy and individual rights as compared to people in some other countries.  I certainly view the policy you described as an invasion of privacy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2004
Wed, 03-13-2013 - 1:50pm

And since we are not taught  to have a choice, for us it normality  MOST people  wants to breastfed , it seen as a normal part of   being a mother, nothing special or fantastic, it is normal here.

This is were we differ in our mindsets and cultures, what we see as help and support, you seams to see as invasion of privacy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2010
Wed, 03-13-2013 - 12:21pm

"The third party isnt a big meanie with a judge wigg walking around being evil.  It is a doctor, someone who is there to help you."

My goodness, I would assume the person is not a big meannie with a judge wig walking around being evil.  I figured it would be a nurse, doctor, or lactation consultant.  Nearly all of those people are well-meaning, and most are kind (a few are probably less kind, because they're people with personalities and moods).  The point is that it's still a third party who's allowing or not allowing a woman to do something based on whether she is using her own body in a certain way or has a reason why she "can't.".

"I cant see how it is bad to  get  help and good support to do what  come natrually."

I agree.  But "good support" for breastfeeding is not not allowing women to do something unless they've done something else.  It's making sure they have the resources to do what they want to do. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2004
Wed, 03-13-2013 - 11:33am

Sorry but I am sleeping when you are argueing.

The third party isnt a big meanie with a judge wigg walking around being evil.  It is a doctor, someone who is there to help you. When they have found out why you cant  breastfed you are sent home, if the  welfare of the child isnt in dangered. Then you get check ups until it works or not  and  they cost is like 10  dollar and after you paided 110 dollar, you pay for no more  doctors  visit the following 12 months period.  How ever all the hospital visit and doctors visit for the child is free of charge. A newborn will also have regular checkup, once a week for the first 1-3 months and then 14 days between, then once a month and the  every second months and then  I think it is 6 months inbetween.

A succesful nursing is the baby grabbing the tit  suckling,  the child  will by sucking correctly help you to produce milk, the first milk (unless you pump it away) is design to be extra fatty and rich  so the child can survive until you get your milk going.

 The hospital care is great, the food is good and free and the visit is  not expensive at all, I think it was  8 dollars per day and you have nurses and doctors checking you and the little one up. Yes, babies sleep with thier mum at my hospital, all to make it easier to breastfeed, every 2 hours as they need in the start.

I cant see how it is bad to  get  help and good support to do what  come natrually.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2010
Tue, 03-12-2013 - 10:36pm

Nisupulla wrote: I think you are reading what you want to see in MissTrygg's post, not what is acutally there. Her post did not imply that mothers are forced to stay at the hospital until some third party allows them to go home. That is just your interpretation.

Misstrygg said, "we arent allowed to leave hospital until we have one successful nursing or found out why we can't."

I described the policy as follows:

"at least I can be happy that I live in a country where I am 'allowed' to decide not to use my own breasts to feed my baby without having to demonstrate to some third party why I 'can't.' 

and later

"women are not 'allowed' to leave the hospital unless they successfully nurse or have a reason why they 'can't.'"

For the most part, that's quotation, not interpretation. 

The "third party" part was interpretation; I asked if you had an alternative interpretation earlier, but you didn't respond.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2006
Tue, 03-12-2013 - 8:49pm

I think you are reading what you want to see in MissTrygg's post, not what is acutally there. Her post did not imply that mothers are forced to stay at the hospital until some third party allows them to go home. That is just your interpretation.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Tue, 03-12-2013 - 7:56pm
I don't think my milk was in with either kid when I left the hospital. They were both good sucky babies. But nursing was vastly different once the milk came in. I had a nurse do a home visit as part of my insurance about five says after birth. I found that really reassuring.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2010
Tue, 03-12-2013 - 7:15pm

I believe it is a bad policy to say that women are not "allowed" to leave the hospital unless they successfully nurse or have a reason why they "can't."

I believe would be a good policy to say that a hospital be required to allow a woman--who wishes to--to stay in the hospital until she successfully nurses or has a reason why she can't. 

Those are different things, and the policy Misstrygg described was the first. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2006
Tue, 03-12-2013 - 7:00pm

I've already said that it is a good policy not to let breastfeeding women out of the hospital until they are breastfeeding reasonably well.

Your position is different? Or do we agree that it is a good policy?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2010
Tue, 03-12-2013 - 4:16pm

Nisupulla wrote: It sounds to me that you are committed to your belief in the Big Meannie who goes from mom to mom judging whether she has tried hard enough. I don't believe the Big Meannie exists.

It sounds like you are very committed to making every debate about whether Big Meannies exist.   That's an interesting debate, for sure, but it's not the topic I've been discussing in this thread.

I was discussing Misstrygg's statement that she was happy to live in a place where women are not "allowed" to leave unless they either succesfully nurse or they have a reason why they "can't" nurse.  I said I was happy to not be in such a place.  It's fundamentally a debate about a specific hospital policy.  Arguments could be made for it or against it.  Want to make any of them? 

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