What are your shallow reasons to breastfeed?

Community Leader
Registered: 10-01-2010
What are your shallow reasons to breastfeed?
3
Tue, 01-15-2013 - 10:56am

10 (Mildly Shallow) Reasons To Breastfeed

(Sorry, I had to edit out several words, due to language)

1. Milk boobs are awesome. Have you seen milk boobs? The new-mom, my-milk-just-came-in(!!) boobs? They’re glorious. They’re porn star glorious except they’re REAL. They’ll make even the staunchest feminist reconsider her rabid stance on breast augmentation. These fabulous [breasts] were a fabulous surprise after my first child, and a highly anticipated perk (for both my husband and me) after my second.

2. I don’t have to work out. My baby weight lost itself because breastfeeding burns 500-800 calories A DAY. Even my best workout when I was in my twenties and maintaining a hot college body to bring the boys to the yard didn’t burn 800 calories. How crazy would I be to opt out of something that burns a [load] of calories while I sit on my [butt], snuggling my baby, in my thirties?

3. I don’t feel remotely guilty about what I eat. I need to replace the calories nursing burns otherwise my milk production decreases dramatically. So heeeelllllloooo, Smashburger. Thank you for contributing to the cause of better infantile nutrition. And yes, I would like a salted-caramel shake with that. It’s all in the name of milk production.

4. I can’t forget my breasts when I leave the house. I’ve forgotten diapers, clothes, blankets, binkies, the stroller, the entire diaper bag after spending 20 minutes packing it, and even the [ ] baby, but I’ve never forgotten milk. If you don’t have kids, having one less thing to remember as you herd your family out the door may not seem significant. If you do have kids, you know how significant it is.

5. I get guaranteed breaks during [ ] social functions. It is completely acceptable to excuse yourself from a party to nurse your child in private. Even though I don’t really care about privacy, I sometimes take advantage of this understanding to avoid awkward acquaintances and annoying relatives and go play Angry Birds or check Facebook for awhile.

6. Aunt Flo goes on sabbatical. Thanks to breastfeeding, I made it 50 weeks sans Aunt Flo after my daughter was born. My son just turned one and I’m still waiting for her return. If you count her absence during my pregnancy, I haven’t seen her in nearly 2 years. TWO YEARS. I don’t miss that [ ] at all.

7. I can instantly comfort my screaming baby without having to troubleshoot the actual problem. Sometimes I’m too tired or busy to try to figure out what the baby is crying about, so I just nurse him. Nine times out of 10, shoving a boob in his mouth calms him down immediately. Note: This also works with his father.

8. I can have unprotected sex for 6 months. When done correctly, breastfeeding is an effective form of birth control up to the baby’s 6-month birthday. So no hormones for me, and no condoms for my husband, for 6 months. Like I said though, you have to do it right or you end up with Irish twins. Like my parents did. D’oh.

9. Breast milk poop smells a [heck] of a lot better than formula poop. I have to change a lot of disgusting poopy diapers, so if anything can make them less disgusting, I’m in. Breast milk poop smells, but it doesn’t stink. Not like formula [ ]. I found this out firsthand when changing a friend’s formula-fed baby. I thought something died in her diaper. I almost called Animal Control.

10. When my kids have kids, I can hold it over their heads that when they were babies, I did everything right and know everything. The extreme commitment and effort of breastfeeding lends a lot of credibility to the future backseat parenting of my grandchildren.

Read more: http://www.scarymommy.com/reasons-to-breastfeed/

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2010
Wed, 01-23-2013 - 8:16pm

I kind of hate this list.  I don't know if it's the tone, or what.

1. I hated my milk boobs.

2. I lost less weight breastfeeding than FFing, because I overate due to the stress and boredom I felt with BFing.

3.  See #2.

4. Yeah, I couldn't forget my breasts, but my husband and child care provider were physically incapable of bringing them along, and I was MORE than capable of forgetting my pump/pump parts, so convenience didn't really work in breastfeeding's favor.

5. I guess you do get guaranteed breaks, if you want them.  What I felt like I got was social pressure to take unwanted breaks.

6. "Aunt Flo" went on sabbatical for a bit, but I just felt like I was trading one leaking organ for another.  (I had to wear nursing pads for months.)

7. Instant baby comfort-yes.

8. Unprotected sex - never in a million years would I use nursing for birth control.

9. Breast milk poop - I think where this woman completely lost me was the ridiculous, insulting comment about her friend's baby. 

10.  Holding it over my kids's heads that I did everything right and can be a backseat grandparent--I think she's kidding, but, yuck, and no.

Community Leader
Registered: 04-18-2003
Thu, 01-17-2013 - 8:32pm

6. Aunt Flo goes on sabbatical. Thanks to breastfeeding, I made it 50 weeks sans Aunt Flo after my daughter was born. My son just turned one and I’m still waiting for her return. If you count her absence during my pregnancy, I haven’t seen her in nearly 2 years. TWO YEARS. I don’t miss that [ ] at all.

I'm sorry, I got as far as this one and laughed so hysterically, I forgot my answers.  I agree with Melodielyn who posted:

6. Again - lucky.  Didn't really work for me even when I exclusively bf.

I've heard women who have been irritated when their periods return at 8 weeks post partum. :D And given that ovulation occurs 10-14 days BEFORE, that also explains how some women who are breastfeeding are surprised to become pregnant so soon after giving birth.

Gail

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2002
Tue, 01-15-2013 - 11:00pm

Wow!  And my shallow reason was just that I wanted to save money.

1. Ha!


2. She was lucky - I never lost weight.  Some women do, some don't.


3. Again - she was lucky.  My babies seemed to be very sensitive to what I ate and I had to be far more careful than when I was pregnant.  

4. True enough.

5. Assuming there's a place you can actually go that isn't a bathroom.  

6. Again - lucky.  Didn't really work for me even when I exclusively bf.

7. Fair enough.

8.  I would NEVER ever risk this - unless I was fine with babies close together!  

9. I honestly never thought there was that much of a difference.

10. I did appreciate my mom's help - she breastfed the 3 of us and she did help me.  I hope I can help my own kids with their babies someday (but not lord it over them!)