What impacts a family more-ff or bf

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
What impacts a family more-ff or bf
159
Wed, 10-22-2003 - 1:02pm
By impact I mean having an effect on. Do the feeding choices we make affect others in the family?

For example I ff. Since I chose that method of feeding I feel that I can spend more time with my other 2 kids since my dd is not solely dependent on me for every feeding. My dh can (and does) feed her. My kids love to help out by feeding her. Yes, they play with her and talk to her too, but they love to take part in caring for her.

Just thought I'd throw this question out there. (I'm not even going to go into the dad bonding with baby issue!).

Jeanie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 10-22-2003 - 1:21pm

What you said...


But you realize we are both going to get it don't you?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 10-22-2003 - 1:33pm
I know I'm opening myself up for the flames, lol!

What if you're a bf'ing mom and you have other kids but because you are the only one who can feed the baby at night you are sleep deprived (from nursing every 2 hours) and your other kids need/want your attention the next day?

As a ff'er my dh can help out so I can get some sleep and be able to take care of my other kids, DO things with them, not be irritable and in a fog from lack of sleep. Especially when it's summer vacation and the kids are off all summer.

What if you bf and are reluctant to NIP and the baby needs to eat NOW? Do you tell your other children they they have to leave somewhere because the baby needs to eat?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 10-22-2003 - 1:39pm

Oh, I was going to try and answer from a bf'ers perspective...but I figured I would get into big trouble for that.

Avatar for kfira71
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 10-22-2003 - 2:05pm

<<"Oh, I was going to try and answer from a bf'ers perspective...but I figured I would get into big trouble for that.">>


Me, too! I was just thinking the same thing.


Personally, I found formula feeding had a positive impact on my family,

~Kim

"Becoming a parent means agreeing to allow your heart to go walking around outside of your body."

Avatar for yogamom4
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Wed, 10-22-2003 - 2:28pm
ok i had insomnia the other night but it wasn't because i am nursing every two hours,, in fact i feel i get more rest because nursing my child at night does not require me to get up to make a bottle , all i do is cuddle closer to baby and go back to sleep w/ him nursing,

and why would i tell my other kids to leave while i am nursing??? they talk to the baby while he's nursing and play with him also while he's nursing, i might have to tell them to leave him alone for a few minutes but i would not tell them to leave!!

yoga

Vicky ~32~

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Kelsey The Brainiac

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 10-22-2003 - 2:35pm
Where did you get the idea that other kids would have to leave while the mom was nursing?? I never said that. I said what if you bf and are reluctant to NIP and the baby needs to eat NOW-and you are in a public place. Do you tell your other kids that it's time to leave?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 10-22-2003 - 2:55pm
just a laundry list of random things...

bf-ing dd makes it possible to spend more time with my son...don't have to leave him to make a bottle, don't have to leave him to wash bottles, don't have to leave him to boil the water for bottles, don't have to spend a lot of time packing for an outing, neither dh nor i have to spend time that could be spent together doing something fun on bottle prep the night before...i could go on, but you get the drift.

my ds is not old enough to feed a bottle, but he LOVES to "try to help," with dd. i'm sure it would be the same if he was older and i'm sure i could find plenty for him to do - right now he's great at taking off her socks.

dh's commute doesn't permit for many "feeding" opportunities anyway, so that's pretty much a non-issue (again, not the bonding thing, just the helping me out thing).

we don't co-sleep (well, not by choice). dd is still in my room, but only because we are in temporary housing until our home is re-built. when we were in the house, ds was in his own room around 12 weeks. however, i love that fact that if i do have to feed dd at night i can just snuggle in to do so..no one (me or dh) has to head to the kitchen, or open a can, etc. its also nice in the mornings..i get to lounge for a bit longer than i would've if i had to prepare a bottle (dh is gone around 5:45), so i'm on my own with both kids.

not to put words in his mouth, but i'm sure my husband would expound another positive impact -- its free. we could afford it, but i'd *rather* spend the money on something else for my kids.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 10-22-2003 - 3:01pm
Well, in response to your example (and I realize it was just an example), I BF and my DH can still help out with feedings. I'll admit that it's not as often as your DH could help you out since that would cause supply issues for me, but I'm not the only one who can feed my DS. That is one of the reasons why I feel like I have the best of both worlds as a BFer with a baby who can take a bottle, as most can.

Otherwise, my DH really did want me to BF for a year and I've appreciated his encouragement in my lower moments. He too wants DS to have the best possible nutrition. So that affects us because we are a united front in that desire. DS is our first, so it really doesn't affect anyone besides DH and I! :)

- Ingrid


Edited 10/22/2003 3:03:18 PM ET by ingrid_susan


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 10-22-2003 - 3:09pm
"I said what if you bf and are reluctant to NIP and the baby needs to eat NOW-and you are in a public place. Do you tell your other kids that it's time to leave?"

this doesn't apply to me since i nip...however, sil would not nip - she felt it was a "imposition on others" (her words not mine). she would drive all the way home. after 6 weeks with one baby, 2 weeks with her second and 12 weeks with her third. to me, that's just a sad testament about culture making bf-ing isolating for some nad having a negative impact on success rates. nip aside, she had very positive bf-ing experiences - no supply issues, no engorgement, no mastitis, etc...kind of sad that the one thing that threw her off were her fears of others. of course, then all she did was complain about formula - washing bottles, costs, etc.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 10-22-2003 - 3:09pm
Regarding bottles-it really isn't that time consuming! At least IMO. I do dishes anyway, what's a few bottles? Packing for an outing? Let's see...only a few seconds to throw a bottle in there. Boil water? Nah, don't do that. I use bottled. Prep time? Maybe 10 minutes to make a days worth ahead of time.

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