<<< I really do believe women should not have to feel so empty and crushed by such an important aspect of motherhood. All the BF joy in the world doesn't make up for it, I'll be totally honest<<<
I totally agree. my birth experience was nowhere near as harrowing as yours mind you, but it still hurts.
"In reality, my pregnancies and births are the MOST disappointing things that have ever happened to me. I have beautiful children as a result, and I love them desperately, but I really do believe women should not have to feel so empty and crushed by such an important aspect of motherhood."
I'll second that. It's supposed to be one of the happiest days of your life, right? Certainly one of the most important.
DH and I got into an argument just a couple of days after his ear surgery last month. He said that he was being denied the opportunity to "compose his own sickness narrative." I told him that it was certainly true, and I was sorry for that. But it's not as if I got that opportunity either. I reminded him that he slept for 11 hours straight after his surgery, while I didn't get more than two hours of sleep at a stretch for two weeks after mine. And mine was more complicated and serious.
There just isn't a way to describe the feeling you get when you've just had surgery, you're in your private hospital room, and you're still not the most important person in the room. Based on the contact had by friends and relatives who called/emailed right after Elizabeth was born, I am sure the only way they would have been more concerned about me (other than my immediate family, of course) is if I had died. Everyone else was concerned about the baby.
"All the BF joy in the world doesn't make up for it, I'll be totally honest."
Indeed, although it is awesome as a consolation. Do you know of a board about things like this that's not a debate board but not as slow as NBE? It would be nice to get together with people and b!tch and moan about it without having someone try to push therapy or meds on me.
Understood. I'm more of a lurker on the circ board than anything b/c I know my position and not a darn thing in the world will change it. This board is different because a substantially higher number of babies *do* need formula to survive - as opposed to the number of circs...there's a lot more to learn here, and a lot more in circumstance. Circ is mostly performed out of either ignorance or ritual. I have patience for neither in that debate.
Did I finish it? No. Did I eat more than enough of it? Yes.
I decided to wait on my paper until tomorrow, especially since E woke up. I want to incorporate World Systems Theory into it, but I need to discuss with DH the communication major first. Theories aren't my thing.
Indeed, although it is awesome as a consolation. Do you know of a board about things like this that's not a debate board but not as slow as NBE? It would be nice to get together with people and b!tch and moan about it without having someone try to push therapy or meds on me.>>>
True true. I've hung out on NBE and the PPD support board both, and neither fits. Weirdly enough, I've found the best support for my issues here - amongst people who mostly sympathize more than anything. Even my PG doesn't fit because I feel like the loser whining mother who can't get it up for the baby, the father, or much of anything.
Well if white tile is the issue, I have white tile and a black shedding dog, and today we got about 3 inches of snow tracked onto that tile, which incidentally I paid a pretty penny to have professionally cleaned just yesterday.
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>>>And how many people do you know who would readily admit to that, even if they believed it to be true themselves?<<<<
Probably just my mom.
Malcolm Gladwell Blink
Hugs and hugs and hugs to you Jennifer.
<<< I really do believe women should not have to feel so empty and crushed by such an important aspect of motherhood. All the BF joy in the world doesn't make up for it, I'll be totally honest<<<
I totally agree. my birth experience was nowhere near as harrowing as yours mind you, but it still hurts.
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"In reality, my pregnancies and births are the MOST disappointing things that have ever happened to me. I have beautiful children as a result, and I love them desperately, but I really do believe women should not have to feel so empty and crushed by such an important aspect of motherhood."
I'll second that. It's supposed to be one of the happiest days of your life, right? Certainly one of the most important.
DH and I got into an argument just a couple of days after his ear surgery last month. He said that he was being denied the opportunity to "compose his own sickness narrative." I told him that it was certainly true, and I was sorry for that. But it's not as if I got that opportunity either. I reminded him that he slept for 11 hours straight after his surgery, while I didn't get more than two hours of sleep at a stretch for two weeks after mine. And mine was more complicated and serious.
There just isn't a way to describe the feeling you get when you've just had surgery, you're in your private hospital room, and you're still not the most important person in the room. Based on the contact had by friends and relatives who called/emailed right after Elizabeth was born, I am sure the only way they would have been more concerned about me (other than my immediate family, of course) is if I had died. Everyone else was concerned about the baby.
"All the BF joy in the world doesn't make up for it, I'll be totally honest."
Indeed, although it is awesome as a consolation. Do you know of a board about things like this that's not a debate board but not as slow as NBE? It would be nice to get together with people and b!tch and moan about it without having someone try to push therapy or meds on me.
Have I wasted enough time today?
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Thanks to Heather (blessedmom0508) for the beautiful signatures!
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Did I finish it? No. Did I eat more than enough of it? Yes.
I decided to wait on my paper until tomorrow, especially since E woke up. I want to incorporate World Systems Theory into it, but I need to discuss with DH the communication major first. Theories aren't my thing.
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Thanks to Heather (blessedmom0508) for the beautiful signatures!
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Thanks
Indeed, although it is awesome as a consolation. Do you know of a board about things like this that's not a debate board but not as slow as NBE? It would be nice to get together with people and b!tch and moan about it without having someone try to push therapy or meds on me.>>>
True true. I've hung out on NBE and the PPD support board both, and neither fits. Weirdly enough, I've found the best support for my issues here - amongst people who mostly sympathize more than anything. Even my PG doesn't fit because I feel like the loser whining mother who can't get it up for the baby, the father, or much of anything.
/end self deprecation now.
Go write your paper, Holly.
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Come on honey, pop your feet up and find something to waste some time online before you mop!
Tell that to my OCD tendancies next time there's gunk on the white tile.
<>
You know, when I was preggo with Alaya I had the WORST ear infection EVA.
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