You keep asking why...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2008
You keep asking why...
1104
Tue, 12-16-2008 - 2:48pm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2005
Fri, 12-19-2008 - 11:35am

I know there are several things *I* would change, given a way-back machine, but I accept that my parents did the best they could with what they had! It was their *information*, their "culture", the way *they* were raised that was faulty, not *them*.


Ditto.

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"That's the
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2008
Fri, 12-19-2008 - 11:46am

>>>'Twas a loaded question.

"The key to good decision making is not knowledge. It is understanding."
Malcolm Gladwell Blink

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2008
Fri, 12-19-2008 - 11:50am
Thank you so much!!! =)

butterfly 2011


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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Fri, 12-19-2008 - 11:59am

<<>>

So true. When I think of some of the things my parents (and other relatives and family friends) did WRT child-rearing, it scares me a little. But what I have also realized is that they were sort of mired in their parents' and previous generations' way of doing things. It's not that they didn't know better, because they probably did (my mom did attempt to BF me for a few weeks; her own mother's opinions of it were one of her reasons for quitting. Years later when she had my brother, I think she nursed him for a couple of months, so she did try it again). I also know that their elders took it personally when they tried to raise their own kids differently from the way they were raised, which must have been very difficult for them.

In general, I think there may have been less room for individual choice in many aspects of life, especially parenthood, in the social climate/culture in which my parents were raised, and in which they were raising us. Their friends did things the same way they did; everyone smoked (through pregnancy too), everyone spanked, everyone FF, etc. They were caring parents, but they did things VERY differently from how I do them. But I also think I have more room to make my own choices than they did. I have a wider exposure than they did, both educationally and socially. I also live far away from them and don't consult them on many of my choices. If I could, I would travel back in time to when they were raising me and tell them it was okay to branch out and do things differently. I know they wanted to; my mom was the first, and only, one in her generation to even try BF, so the seeds were there, I think.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2005
Fri, 12-19-2008 - 12:02pm

So if your mom smoked during her pregnancy with you you would be in favor of it?

~*bEcQUi*~

2 KiDs, a HuBbY, & a NeUroTiC doG

www.apileofe

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Fri, 12-19-2008 - 12:03pm
My DH would kill me if he knew I was posting about this, but I will anyway...he almost always passes out when he needs to have a shot or get blood drawn. It's pretty scary. When I got my epidural for Liam, he had decided not to watch because he is even upset by seeing others get needles. He sat in a chair across the room, turned away from me, but the very *thought* of the needle in my spine caused him to pass out in the chair. One nurse ran to him to keep him from slumping to the floor, and the other one stayed with me to get the epi. It was quite the commotion in that delivery room!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Fri, 12-19-2008 - 12:05pm
I'm going to mention this to DH. Even the flu shot is a fiasco, so maybe acupuncture would help him, too.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2008
Fri, 12-19-2008 - 12:11pm
I think we just aren't seeing each other's POV on that. You are asking me what if's and I am answering them the way that makes sense to me from my own frame of reference, it doesn't make sense to you and that's okay. I don't have it in me to give the kind of response that you are looking for, so it's best we move on.
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"The key to good decision making is not knowledge. It is understanding."
Malcolm Gladwell Blink

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2008
Fri, 12-19-2008 - 12:11pm

"Why did you respond to my question about wanting more information about this what-if specifically about formula leading ultimately to

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Fri, 12-19-2008 - 12:13pm

I wasn't sure where to put this, but it was my understanding that in prehistoric clans and aboriginal societies, there was not likely to be more than a couple of nursing moms at any one time, as it would be a huge disadvantage to the tribe - to have her less able to work during pregnancy and need more protection when the babies were still young, plus if they were nomad, the less she would be able to travel.


From what I read, they would do what they could to prevent pregnancies too close together, and infantcide was used if a new member



~*~ Catherine, mom to three grown men - Jason, Michael & Joshua and Granma to Christopher & Leia.


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