You keep asking why...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2008
You keep asking why...
1104
Tue, 12-16-2008 - 2:48pm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Fri, 12-19-2008 - 12:20pm

<<>>

DH and I were just discussing something similar WRT polygamist societies. I was wondering how lactation affected one of the goals of these groups, which is to have large numbers of offspring. I was thinking that if everyone were lactating at the same time, it could limit the total fertility level of the family. Just a theory, if anyone has conflicting ideas or knowledge, I'd be interested in learning more.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2006
Fri, 12-19-2008 - 12:25pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2008
Fri, 12-19-2008 - 12:27pm

I will give it a try - but fair warning you might get exasperated and if you start with the 's again I might give up again.

>>>>What if mom hates feeding period? She hates bfing, she hates bottle feeding. It all makes her miserable. Do we care more about her happiness, or about what is healthy for the child? <<<<

I care about her happiness enough to suggest someone else in the home should feed the baby instead of her. If there is a risk the baby will now starve because she's alone in charge of care, I'd call CPS.

>>>>What if the baby had been severely allergic to formula and had a terrible reaction that left him brain damaged? Would mom's happiness be so important under those conditions, or would you want her to bf even though she was 'unhappy' to spare him irreparable damage? <<<<

Are you talking about having a crystal ball to predict the brain damage or once the brain damage has occurred should she now start bf'ing again? If I had a crystal ball I could prevent a lot of very rare and unnecessary things. I could go around waking women up and dragging them into the baby's room just before he stops breathing. I would tell a new mom about to be in a head on collision with her newborn to get out of the car and go back inside until later. I would be like Super Baby-Saving Mom. So sure, I'd rush in and tell that mom not to give the bottle. That would be my Super Hero job and I'd take it seriously and try to save all the babies.

>>>>You have some issue with pointing out that the baby wants/expects standard nutrition. Why do you take issue with that? <<<<

I don't. Nothing about my personal choices indicates I take issue with that. I bf'd each of my children as long as possible, my minimum if I have the choice is around 2 years. I don't judge other women harshly, it has nothing to do with what I believe babies in general want or expect. I can't claim to know what babies want or expect. I do agree that breastfeeding is what nature intended. Will that suffice?

>>>>if you knew a baby would suffer a severe allergic reaction, and sustain brain damage, would the mother's "happiness" be so important at that point?<<<<

No, being an all knowing super hero I'd tell the woman how devastated she's going to be after the baby has brain damage and to suck it up and breastfeed.

>>>>Who's to say the mom would be "happy" switching to formula? If her child ends up hospitalized, how could that possibly make her "happy"?<<<<

I imagine her child being hospitalized would make her very UNhappy. As far as who's to say they would be happy switching to formula, some mom's do say that and it's up to them to say that and feel that way. I was very unhappy switching to formula, but I accept and respect the right of others to feel differently and express those feelings.

>>>>>The bottom line is how much should a child be expected to sacrifice wrt his health for mom's "happiness"?<<<<

Children should not be expected to sacrifice, and IMHO many children do not sacrifice. Some do and that has been true throughout time, children suffer and adults suffer. It has always been the case and will always be the case. We are imperfect. We cannot achieve perfection. We cannot save every baby. We can do our best to learn, study, educate and support and past that we have to accept, understand, comfort and not judge.

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"The key to good decision making is not knowledge. It is understanding."
Malcolm Gladwell Blink

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2008
Fri, 12-19-2008 - 12:29pm

>>>>I wasn't sure where to put this, but it was my understanding that in prehistoric clans and aboriginal societies, there was not likely to be more than a couple of nursing moms at any one time, as it would be a huge disadvantage to the tribe - to have her less able to work during pregnancy and need more protection when the babies were still young, plus if they were nomad, the less she would be able to travel.

From what I read, they would do what they could to prevent pregnancies too close together, and infantcide was used if a new member would put the rest of the tribe at risk. So there would not necessarily be another nursing mom to pass baby off to.<<<<

Sheesh will good thing they would not give up on nursing their own young, they'd just kill the extra babies instead. Seems like I'd rather be a baby today with a mom loving formula than a nomad mom who has to choose between killing me or being left behind.

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"The key to good decision making is not knowledge. It is understanding."
Malcolm Gladwell Blink

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Fri, 12-19-2008 - 12:32pm

<<>>

It's amazing, isn't it? I know that in the short time my mom nursed me, she got what I know now to be poor advice. For one thing, she had a run-of-the-mill winter cold at one point when I was a newborn (I was born at the end of November), and she was worried that the "close contact" of nursing would cause me to get sick too. Somebody told her to tie a kerchief over her nose and mouth whenever I needed a feeding to keep from getting her germs on me. Clearly, there was a lack of understanding about BF's immune benefits there. But she did it because she thought she had to.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2007
Fri, 12-19-2008 - 12:39pm

My Aidin was allergic to milk (as I posted so many times ya all know it anyhow ;) )


But he DID go anaphalytic 2 times over milk based formula and 1 x over Red dye in tylenol.


2 of those were with in 3 weeks of each other. I ended up pulling him out of his daycare after the 2nd accidental bottle switch that nearly killed him.


He was alao allergic to nuts/fish/red meat (the protien)/milk/red dye and eggs.


The kid lived on chicken and beans LOL!


Now 7 years later he has no allergies!


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Albini: Married Sole Custodian Bio-mum of 3 Mine plus 1 Ours baby.


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              *Praying for my best friend, my Dad*


 &n

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2007
Fri, 12-19-2008 - 12:39pm

<<I am picturing a group of cavewomen trying to support another cavewoman to bf'd and she

 

stephanie041209.gif picture by shellnick2003

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2007
Fri, 12-19-2008 - 12:40pm

"Children should not be expected to sacrifice, and IMHO many children do not sacrifice. Some do and that has been true throughout time, children suffer and adults suffer. It has always been the case and will always be the case. We are imperfect. We cannot achieve perfection. We cannot save every baby. We can do our best to learn, study, educate and support and past that we have to accept, understand, comfort and not judge."

Excellent post. I'm enjoying reading what you have to say.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2006
Fri, 12-19-2008 - 12:41pm

Welcome!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2007
Fri, 12-19-2008 - 12:43pm

I don't know, Stephanie. I guess in my thinking, there are instances where *other* mammals refuse their offspring and I'm sure that this has been happening since the beginning. I wouldn't believe that in history there haven't been times when a human mother did the same. Does that make sense?

Your daughter is beautiful! She clearly gets her looks from her mother. :)

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