You keep asking why...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2008
You keep asking why...
1104
Tue, 12-16-2008 - 2:48pm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2007
Fri, 12-19-2008 - 5:00pm
Personally (and this response comes from my frame of reference, which is largely anthropological, as that is what I studied before changing majors), I do not think it makes you a bad mother. I think there would be psychological trauma to that mother, but it would be so acceptable by her societal norms that she could accept it and move on with her life. There would always be cases where that was not true, but on the whole, we have to understand that every society establishes different norms, and that these norms are not barbaric or savage to them. They are just a means of survival. Like for us, we feel that everyone has a right to survive, even when they naturally wouldn't. To another group, the existing adults have more right to life than an infant as the adults can contribute to society. Since contribution is the glue of a HG society, it was possibly more important for a mother to feel she is contributing than to sustain her young in some instances. This is where a mother could abandon, kill or eat her child, feelnig that the impact is more positive than the negative feeling of losing a child. Does that make sense?



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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2000
Fri, 12-19-2008 - 5:06pm
Poor guy.
 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Fri, 12-19-2008 - 5:06pm

<>


I agree, that is more likely to happen. Because if there is no-one to take over the nursing of the baby, then baby dies. Which I think happened more than women taking in an extra infant to nurse.


When I was reading about infantcide, it was often stated that if mom died in childbirth, the baby would be buried with the mom.


Obviously, if there was a nursing mom available and willing to take in the baby, there would be no need to do such a thing



~*~ Catherine, mom to three grown men - Jason, Michael & Joshua and Granma to Christopher & Leia.


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Fri, 12-19-2008 - 5:08pm

<<Yes we seem to be covering infanticide extensively.>>


Yes, how did we wander into this



~*~ Catherine, mom to three grown men - Jason, Michael & Joshua and Granma to Christopher & Leia.


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2007
Fri, 12-19-2008 - 5:10pm

Yes, how did we wander into this horrific topic?>>>

Am I insensitive for not finding it horrific? I find it fascinating and telling to boot.




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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Fri, 12-19-2008 - 5:14pm
I agree - mostly I was thinking of another topic where people talk about how making one choice doesn't make you a "bad mother" ;)


~*~ Catherine, "Internet Research Specialist" ;)




No matter what decision you make in your life, or your child's life - there will always be someone just waiting to tell you what a stupid idiot you are for doing so...

Some of my blogs:
Life Begins... (miscarriage)
Frugal Baby Tips
Frugal Freebies
Pregnancy Stories By Age - 43-56+yrs old!
You Can Get Pregnant in Your 40's



~*~ Catherine, mom to three grown men - Jason, Michael & Joshua and Granma to Christopher & Leia.


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Fri, 12-19-2008 - 5:19pm

<>


Actually I find it very fascinating too, and yet part of me still feels the horror of it.



~*~ Catherine, "Internet Research Specialist" ;)




No matter what decision you make in your life, or your child's life - there will always be someone just waiting to tell you what a stupid idiot you are for doing so...

Some of my blogs:
Life Begins... (miscarriage)
Frugal Baby Tips
Frugal Freebies
Pregnancy Stories By Age - 43-56+yrs old!
You Can Get Pregnant in Your 40's



~*~ Catherine, mom to three grown men - Jason, Michael & Joshua and Granma to Christopher & Leia.


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2007
Fri, 12-19-2008 - 5:36pm
I understand that. I shudder to think about doing it to my own child, but I can accept that it is reasonable elsewhere. It's an interesting dissonance.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Fri, 12-19-2008 - 5:44pm
(((HUGS))) I know he feels the same way. I don't know if he ever had anyone sit with him for it, but that is a good idea. I will mention that to him. I just feel really bad for him when he has it happen, because I am sure it is embarrassing, but also scary for him.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Fri, 12-19-2008 - 5:54pm

<<>>

I agree. I had the same feeling when Elise was born, and a nurse in the hospital was encouraging me to co-sleep with her the first night. I was so surprised that she would recommend it because I didn't expect that in the hospital. Somehow I got into a conversation with her about why co-sleeping is frowned upon by some many people, and she was explaining to me how in the past, among very poor populations, people would sometimes "accidentally" smother babies in their sleep, basically as de facto birth control. Apparently, these deaths usually went unquestioned because there was no way to be sure if it was an accident, and infant death of an accidental nature was pretty common anyway, when people were living in dirty, overcrowded surroundings, drunkenness was rampant, windows were kept open in hot weather, etc.

It really horrified me to think of someone deliberately suffocating the baby under the guise of having rolled "accidentally" onto her while sleeping, but it also made some sense to me in light of what life was like for women who had basically no control over how many babies they had.

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