18 or 21 for Adulthood???

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2012
18 or 21 for Adulthood???
34
Wed, 02-06-2013 - 2:29pm

Am a mother and step mom with 6 children in all........

i would like to see if we can get a debate to congress to raise the age from 18 to 21 for children to be able to make decisions on their own.....

what do you think? i have views to support but i would like to get views from other parents and 18year olds as well.

Let the debate begin!!!!!

Thanks

LC

Thank YouLaughing

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2012
Fri, 02-08-2013 - 3:46pm

Smile.....you have a good point...however we have to understand that really at 18 yes they are open to so many things but are not ready, thinking of our high school graduates they are old yes but not mature and we all know the brains have not yet developed.

And for the failed parenting yes our 18yr olds are somehow helping us out.Smile

Thank YouLaughing

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Fri, 02-08-2013 - 4:47pm

If the 18 year old is revoking the signed documents allowing family access, there is probably some kind of relationship problem.  I see it all the time at the University, when parents want access to a student's academic or medical records.  If the student is over 18, we can't release them unless the student says it's okay.  My advice to parents is that if having those records is important to you, and the student won't let you have access, stop paying the bills.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Fri, 02-08-2013 - 4:47pm

If the 18 year old is revoking the signed documents allowing family access, there is probably some kind of relationship problem.  I see it all the time at the University, when parents want access to a student's academic or medical records.  If the student is over 18, we can't release them unless the student says it's okay.  My advice to parents is that if having those records is important to you, and the student won't let you have access, stop paying the bills.

Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Fri, 02-08-2013 - 5:39pm

Yep, But how much did you reall yknow and were you prepared for at 18 that you know now? And the thing is kids aren't raised today the way they were before, They are growing up entitled and without rules or boundaries, You can't say that's the way it was before, Then to go off and push the notion that they should be prepared for real adulthood at 18 b/c that's the way it always was is a joke, It's absurd! And I'm not saying teens should be babied either, Mine certainly are not. I actually love the stage my kids are at and I'm lucky we can talk. It's not do it my way or else, If you don't like it you can leave kind of thing nor do I expect 18 to be that year my kid knows everything..... Perhaps that is the unconditional parent in me coming out, Not everybody is like that I know!

 

ETA I really hate this format, Lol, I had this broken up in paragraphs and my response is to the latest remarks from the OP and deenasdad

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Fri, 02-08-2013 - 6:21pm
Of course I didn't know as much at 18 as I do now, nor do I expect that my 20 yr old knows as much as he eventually will. But I have raised my kids with the goal of giving them the tools they need to be competent adults (all the while listening to the horrified nattering of those who thought that was somehow an unnatural thing to do), so what I got in the end was competent adults. They hold down jobs, vote responsibly, get their teeth cleaned on a regular basis, enroll in classes, etc.
Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Fri, 02-08-2013 - 8:03pm
What's an IRresponsible vote Bord?

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Fri, 02-08-2013 - 9:06pm
I assume that you are asking what it means to vote responsibly? It means to carry out your duty as a citizen by showing up at the polls and casting an informed vote. I hope you already knew that.
Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Sat, 02-09-2013 - 12:35pm

  One has to be hard.  We live in an era where only a generation or so many kids did not make it to 10.  So the person miscaculated.  That happens a lot less as with computer cross checks over prescribing can be caught.  It is not if but when.

  There are very good reasons for privacy.  People think they need to know everything control everything but they cannot.  Control is an illusion.

chaika

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2004
Sun, 02-10-2013 - 3:23am

I personally don't think an 18 y.o. should have to give their parents access to their medical records, even if they are paying for the insurance..

And sure doesn't mean something's wrong in their relationship.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Sun, 02-10-2013 - 7:58am
I think something is skewed in the relationship if the parents are pressuring their son/daughter to sign privacy waivers but they are being revoked the minute the patent leaves the room.