18 or 21 for Adulthood???

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2012
18 or 21 for Adulthood???
34
Wed, 02-06-2013 - 2:29pm

Am a mother and step mom with 6 children in all........

i would like to see if we can get a debate to congress to raise the age from 18 to 21 for children to be able to make decisions on their own.....

what do you think? i have views to support but i would like to get views from other parents and 18year olds as well.

Let the debate begin!!!!!

Thanks

LC

Thank YouLaughing

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Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Thu, 02-07-2013 - 2:13am

 18 is the right age.  Most will have graduated from high school and either moving to college,or voc training.  They do not need to be on a apron string.  Let go.

Goldfish

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Thu, 02-07-2013 - 7:20am
Congress has no authority over this issue, other than to set military policy. The Constitution guarantees the right of all citizens 18 and older to vote; Congress can't change that. The states set rules for legal adulthood to enter into contracts, purchase alcohol, etc.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
Thu, 02-07-2013 - 8:21am

  When my DDs were 18 they were not living at home (for most of the year),  they were living in their college towns.

  As adults they should have been able to make decisions on their own without having to go though mommy and daddy.

  If I were the one still legally making decisions for them that would also mean that I would be the one legally responsible for them.  I do not think I would want to be legally responsible for someone not even living under my roof that I have absolutely no control over.

  I think that all parents have "goals" in their parenting.   Having grown up in an authoritarian hosuehold I did not develop many decision making skills in my youth which made it a bit harder in my early adulthood.  One of my goals was to help my DDs develop those skills so they would not have the struggles that I did.  Far from a perfect parent one thing that I am proud of is that DH and I did raise our DDs "to have a good head on their shoulders", the ability to think  out and make logical decisions.  We are finding out now just how important that is, as our DD1 at 29 will in the next few months will have to make decisions that no one, especially someone her age should have to.

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Thu, 02-07-2013 - 9:55am
I find it fascinating that children can drop out of school at 16, At 18 s/he can vote, Drink at 21 and remain on your healthcare plan until 25 or 26... But we still call you an adult at 18, Something's wrong with that picture, Lol! FTR, I am the mother of three, My oldest is 15 and she's a high school freshman, she will be 18 the Summer before her senior year. I'm lucky she's a good and responsible kid but I have a hard time calling a high school kid or early college kid an adult at that age.

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Thu, 02-07-2013 - 10:29am
So what, we have the authority to conscript children to serve in our military?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2012
Thu, 02-07-2013 - 2:51pm

Thank you all for the points and its interesting to get the different views, if congress cant change then ok but some of us parents would understand where i would be coming from if for example i say changes in HIPPA laws....... there are cases and one recent where our children who are "adults" are misleading doctors in prescription drugs and they are getting high dosage of something that they claim is bad and the doctor is not aware that really the patient does not need it but has presented (fake) that he is in bad shape.

As the parent we are the ones in contact and intouch with our kids all the time and we know what is going on and we are not given the chance to get the information on what is going on with our child because its doc and patient privacy.........

A family now is going through mourning because they have lost their son due to that, where he pitched himself to the doctor and the doc is now in regret for prescribing the medication.

How as a parent would you feel if this was to happen to you?

Thank YouLaughing

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Thu, 02-07-2013 - 3:06pm

I would feel horrible, just like I would feel if it happened to someone who was 21, or 25, or 50. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2012
Thu, 02-07-2013 - 3:22pm

Its very sad no matter the age i do get it i would think it would hurt more if it was a young adult that as a parent we still have the a bility of responsibility which is different if you are a mature adult.....

And yes i was meaning the story about the adderall which i agree is another can of worms!!!

Maybe i could ask about something else....... do we as really know if our young adults are happy where they are and the situations they are in if we are to say you are 18 and an adult or they say to us am 18 am out of here.......it is great that some have a good objective of leaving and some may be running away from something have we thought about that?

Thank YouLaughing

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Thu, 02-07-2013 - 3:24pm

Are you talking about the story of the kid who over-dosed on adderrall? Yes, It is interesting that we secure laws like HIPPA but can't find out what our "adult" child is being treated for, esp if they are still covered under a parents plan.  I think it's easy to assume that the parents didn't know but maybe they did and just left it all up to him to decide for himself which is another can of worms,  I don't think 18 is adult enough. 

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Thu, 02-07-2013 - 3:56pm

At what age do you think that a person should have all the legal rights of adulthood?

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