18 or 21 for Adulthood???

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2012
18 or 21 for Adulthood???
34
Wed, 02-06-2013 - 2:29pm

Am a mother and step mom with 6 children in all........

i would like to see if we can get a debate to congress to raise the age from 18 to 21 for children to be able to make decisions on their own.....

what do you think? i have views to support but i would like to get views from other parents and 18year olds as well.

Let the debate begin!!!!!

Thanks

LC

Thank YouLaughing

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
Thu, 02-07-2013 - 4:03pm

   It is not totally true that we cannot find out what our adult children are being treated for.  They can sign the form allowing the parents access.

  Also when they used  our insurance plan   the statement from the insurance agency came to us.  So doctor visits were not secrets.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
Thu, 02-07-2013 - 4:04pm

 I agree with Bord,  it is not an age issue. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2011
Thu, 02-07-2013 - 6:03pm

what defines a legal adult? Unlessthey are willing to hike up the age where someone can enter the armed forces then that is a tough one. Legally an 18 year old can look abd perform in adult activites such as porn.lol Buy things off the internet, Smoke, But they can't drink. But they can get married without your consent.

If you want to hike up the legal age to prevent drug abuse. Sorry then you may as well hike it up to 100 years old because drug abuse has no age boundaries.

As we keep babying our kids they will never grow up. I have an 18 year old now. and he is on the Asperger's spectrum. But it doesn't prevent me fom telling him I am technically no longer responsible for him and I can legally toss him out of the house if he doesn't like my ruless(yes hehas rules and no I won't actually do i)

At the turn of the century 16 was the age of consent and in some states it is younger. If you don't want your 18 year old to make medically dicisions for you then don't make him/her your Health Care Proxy,  Select someone else.

The main reason we are allowed to keep or kiods on our heealth polcies is because it is hard for 26 year old and younger to get it. But One the other hand if they have jobs thy should contribute towards it. I have al;ready told my 18 year olf if we keep him on our car insurance he will pay for his part. I refuseto baby him And no one should baby their kids

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Thu, 02-07-2013 - 9:47pm

I think the bigger general question is how responsible and mature 18 year olds are today than they were in the turn of the century... Times are different, Heck, my grandparents married before their 18th birthdays - and they didn't have to lie to do it either. You can't compare those days to the lives kids are dealt today.

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Fri, 02-08-2013 - 5:43am
Are you suggesting that the human brain has undergone some sort of evolutionary process that has prolonged the process of maturation to adulthood?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Fri, 02-08-2013 - 6:09am

So much so that kids are dying from over prescribed medicines to treat it.... Gotta hand it to science, Or the parents that raise them.

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Fri, 02-08-2013 - 6:35am
Kids are dying from drugs used to treat slow evolution? I think you may nay misinterpreted something somehow.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2012
Fri, 02-08-2013 - 1:40pm

Mmmmmm talking about them able to sign the papers for parents to get information oh yes that is happening not until you are informed that your son/daughter has changed the request and now you are not entitled to any info on anything discussed.......so with that you are in the dark even though you have them on your insurance....aha they are young adults.

And we are not babying them when we want to be part of their development, we are helping,training, teaching and also showing them that we are always there no matter what....with this i mean they can talk to a therapist or doc if they have an issue to discuss, however if that person is not there when they need them and they are in a bad place and since they are not talking or opening up to us the parent and we are always there what do you think them not able to get a solution or the help they need at that time...what they can or would make a bad choice....since we are not aware of how bad they need our support.

Hey and not to misquote me am a strong believer of independence and i would love my kids to be that way in every single way,however there are things that we as parents dont want to find our selves in like situations where we do know that something could have been done to avoid mishaps is how i will call it.

Really 18 is not mature enough with my experiences with my kids have showed that its sad, when your son or daughter comes crying to you saying am not ready for this,or this is a tough responsibility all because he or she thought was an adult and is mature to take it like his peers have encouraged and what is expected of him.

Thank YouLaughing

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2012
Fri, 02-08-2013 - 2:00pm

its not about the army,college,drugs, alcohol and whatever the other issues are, i think we as parents also have to be supportive in this......i know some parents are and some of us are not....... we need to teach them of what is going on out there from home let our kids see what we as adults are going through and get to disscus issues out there as a family i bet they would be mature adults,other than having to encourage you are 18 so you can leave if you dont want our rules or you are 18 you go out and learn for yourself..........i would have thought charity begins at home!!!

Thank YouLaughing

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2012
Fri, 02-08-2013 - 2:24pm

18 seems a good choice...if they haven't gotten their crap together by then, another couple years under failed parenting won't make much of a difference.