18 or 21 for Adulthood???

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2012
18 or 21 for Adulthood???
34
Wed, 02-06-2013 - 2:29pm

Am a mother and step mom with 6 children in all........

i would like to see if we can get a debate to congress to raise the age from 18 to 21 for children to be able to make decisions on their own.....

what do you think? i have views to support but i would like to get views from other parents and 18year olds as well.

Let the debate begin!!!!!

Thanks

LC

Thank YouLaughing

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Fri, 02-08-2013 - 5:39pm

Yep, But how much did you reall yknow and were you prepared for at 18 that you know now? And the thing is kids aren't raised today the way they were before, They are growing up entitled and without rules or boundaries, You can't say that's the way it was before, Then to go off and push the notion that they should be prepared for real adulthood at 18 b/c that's the way it always was is a joke, It's absurd! And I'm not saying teens should be babied either, Mine certainly are not. I actually love the stage my kids are at and I'm lucky we can talk. It's not do it my way or else, If you don't like it you can leave kind of thing nor do I expect 18 to be that year my kid knows everything..... Perhaps that is the unconditional parent in me coming out, Not everybody is like that I know!

 

ETA I really hate this format, Lol, I had this broken up in paragraphs and my response is to the latest remarks from the OP and deenasdad

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Fri, 02-08-2013 - 4:47pm

If the 18 year old is revoking the signed documents allowing family access, there is probably some kind of relationship problem.  I see it all the time at the University, when parents want access to a student's academic or medical records.  If the student is over 18, we can't release them unless the student says it's okay.  My advice to parents is that if having those records is important to you, and the student won't let you have access, stop paying the bills.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Fri, 02-08-2013 - 4:47pm

If the 18 year old is revoking the signed documents allowing family access, there is probably some kind of relationship problem.  I see it all the time at the University, when parents want access to a student's academic or medical records.  If the student is over 18, we can't release them unless the student says it's okay.  My advice to parents is that if having those records is important to you, and the student won't let you have access, stop paying the bills.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2012
Fri, 02-08-2013 - 3:46pm

Smile.....you have a good point...however we have to understand that really at 18 yes they are open to so many things but are not ready, thinking of our high school graduates they are old yes but not mature and we all know the brains have not yet developed.

And for the failed parenting yes our 18yr olds are somehow helping us out.Smile

Thank YouLaughing

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2012
Fri, 02-08-2013 - 2:24pm

18 seems a good choice...if they haven't gotten their crap together by then, another couple years under failed parenting won't make much of a difference.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2012
Fri, 02-08-2013 - 2:00pm

its not about the army,college,drugs, alcohol and whatever the other issues are, i think we as parents also have to be supportive in this......i know some parents are and some of us are not....... we need to teach them of what is going on out there from home let our kids see what we as adults are going through and get to disscus issues out there as a family i bet they would be mature adults,other than having to encourage you are 18 so you can leave if you dont want our rules or you are 18 you go out and learn for yourself..........i would have thought charity begins at home!!!

Thank YouLaughing

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2012
Fri, 02-08-2013 - 1:40pm

Mmmmmm talking about them able to sign the papers for parents to get information oh yes that is happening not until you are informed that your son/daughter has changed the request and now you are not entitled to any info on anything discussed.......so with that you are in the dark even though you have them on your insurance....aha they are young adults.

And we are not babying them when we want to be part of their development, we are helping,training, teaching and also showing them that we are always there no matter what....with this i mean they can talk to a therapist or doc if they have an issue to discuss, however if that person is not there when they need them and they are in a bad place and since they are not talking or opening up to us the parent and we are always there what do you think them not able to get a solution or the help they need at that time...what they can or would make a bad choice....since we are not aware of how bad they need our support.

Hey and not to misquote me am a strong believer of independence and i would love my kids to be that way in every single way,however there are things that we as parents dont want to find our selves in like situations where we do know that something could have been done to avoid mishaps is how i will call it.

Really 18 is not mature enough with my experiences with my kids have showed that its sad, when your son or daughter comes crying to you saying am not ready for this,or this is a tough responsibility all because he or she thought was an adult and is mature to take it like his peers have encouraged and what is expected of him.

Thank YouLaughing

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Fri, 02-08-2013 - 6:35am
Kids are dying from drugs used to treat slow evolution? I think you may nay misinterpreted something somehow.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Fri, 02-08-2013 - 6:09am

So much so that kids are dying from over prescribed medicines to treat it.... Gotta hand it to science, Or the parents that raise them.

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Fri, 02-08-2013 - 5:43am
Are you suggesting that the human brain has undergone some sort of evolutionary process that has prolonged the process of maturation to adulthood?