Marriage or Baby: Which Comes First?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2005
Marriage or Baby: Which Comes First?
Thu, 02-28-2013 - 12:46pm

Giuliana Rancic and her husband Bill worked really hard to have a baby. After she underwent a double lumpectomy and double mastectomy and failed to conceive on her own, the couple decided to bring in a surrogate and have their child through a gestational carrier. The plan worked, and the Rancics welcomed baby Edward Duke into the world in late August.

The obstacles that Rancic, 37, and her husband had to overcome would be hard on any marriage, but the E! News host says they made it through the trying time because they're "best friends." They'd have to be, because it requires a strong love to go through everything they did.

Still, Rancic is drawing some heat for telling Us Weekly that she and Bill put their marriage before their child. As she explains, "We're husband and wife, but we're also best friends, and it's funny because a lot of people, when they have kids, they put the baby first, and the marriage second. That works for some people. For us, I find, we put our marriage first and our child second, because the best thing we can do for him is have a strong marriage."

What do you think of her comment?  Do you agree?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-1998
Thu, 02-28-2013 - 5:04pm

Of course. The marriage is the primary relationship. This doesn't mean that the kids won't sometimes be first priority. For example, you have a date scheduled with your DH, but a kid is sick or has a crisis of some kind, or, for a more mundane example, your DH wants sex, but your infant is howling for milk. ;)

Parents who put their kids first all the time end up with entitled, insecure kids and very little in common when the kids leave the nest.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
Thu, 02-28-2013 - 3:56pm

 I do agree.

  Of course sometimes kids needs do take importance.  But that is generally temporary where a marriage (hopefully) is not.