Okay to miss school for fun stuff?

Avatar for cmkristy
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2005
Okay to miss school for fun stuff?
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Thu, 01-31-2013 - 2:52pm

Moms cited visiting family members, vacations, special sibling events, concerts, and even “mental health days” as good reasons to take kids out of school. 

Alyssa Chirco, a mother of one who lives outside St. Louis, agrees that parents, not school administrators, know best. “I reserve the right to check my child out of school at any time, for any reason.” 

What is the harm in missing a day here or there? Teachers and administrators talk about lost learning time, but the financial reasons are just as relevant. Most schools are funded using a formula that incorporates the average daily attendance. Absences mean fewer dollars allocated.

http://www.today.com/moms/parents-split-over-whether-its-ok-let-kids-miss-school-1B8186531

What do you think?  Is it okay for students to miss class for fun things? Have you let your children do it before?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Thu, 02-14-2013 - 2:28pm

(1)  Your guess is wrong, since the child was falling further behind in several areas in public school every year but didn't yet qualify for LD services.  With proper support, the student caught up, and did just fine in private school.

(2)  There was no social cause.  I don't know why someone felt the need to insert that into the mix, it never was an issue.

(3)  Spending money on LD services may mean nothing to you, but to my son, it was the difference between foundering and thriving in a school environment.  So, for us, huge.

(4)  You know nothing about whether my child and whether he needs or needed to learn any humility or not.  I will say that I would be ashamed of him if he were arrogant enough to make an assumption about someone else like you just did.  We didn't raise him to do things like that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002
Thu, 02-14-2013 - 2:09pm

Jamblessed asks: <<What does the 14% represent?>>

I don't know because she was unwilling to say.  I'm not familiar with a child who is at one and the same time "gifted" and yet in need of special services for an LD. Surprised

<< My /sic/ ld kid is one of those that can't meet those standards and it's not b/c she doesn't care or b/c she gets to take a day off here or there for some adventure that if she doesn't get to will scar her for life. >>

Ya know, there may be plenty of time to get used to these standardized tests over the course of her education.  I didn't have the benefit of standardized tests, so applying for college threw me for a loop!  I even remember one year yelling at a proctor for slicing and eating a piece of fruit right next to me.  Yes, a fruit!!  Jerk.  Thank goodness I passed that particular 3-day standardized exam and got my license to get my job!

Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Thu, 02-14-2013 - 11:36am

I have tremendous respect for educators, esp those in special services b/c of ALL they see, all they have to deal with and the relationship we've built with them, I come from a family of educators too.... No, It doesn't cost thousands of dollars to treat your child, If it did then these people would be rich!  What does the 14% represent?

 ETA one upside about state tests is they do prepare a kid for college admissions and the like, Yes!  My /sic/ ld kid is one of those that can't meet those standards and it's not b/c she doesn't care or b/c she gets to take a day off here or there for some adventure that if she doesn't get to will scar her for life. 

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002
Thu, 02-14-2013 - 10:16am

Jamblessed says: <<My bet is the kid would have thrived just as well in public school as private, It truly is a social casue some find themselves up against when it comes to right fit IMO too.>>

You're right.  And I wouldn't transfer children back and forth and then back again from school to school, especially within a short time span. Every time a student leaves a school to enroll elsewhere, it's an adjustment. 

I have to say if my child scored 14% of (fill-in-the-blank), I'd want the special services for LDs or physical therapy and accomodations that public schools offer.  14% is so low.  And I don't know how hundreds of thousands of dollars could possibly be spent on outside special services either.  Bordwith is unwilling to explain.  I'm still a firm believer that schools who hire and train its employees to address special needs day-after-day are superior to outside for-profit entreprenuers.  People are always willing to take your money. ;)

Also, I don't know about your children's schools, but the private and parochial schools in my State don't offer Advanced Placement courses and Honors level.

I'm glad and grateful that my State requires standardized testing.  When my children go on to further education, there is standardized testing every step of the way ~ admission to college, graduate school, licensure for their particular fields, etc.  It's so important to have the real life experience of the standardized test setting.

Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Thu, 02-14-2013 - 8:52am
My bet is the kid would have thrived just as well in public school as private, It truly is a social casue some find themselves up against when it comes to right fit IMO too. And thanks for proving my earlier point right, Money is what this is about, Having money and spending thousands who knows where means nothing, There are a million and one kids just like your own whose parents don't need to do that and who probaly learn some humility along the way too, But that's beside the point, Lol!

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Wed, 02-13-2013 - 11:29am
I don't know what to explain since I don't understand what is confusing about a student who presents with sub scores in the 90th percentile or higher in all areas but one, and scoring in the 14th percentile in all others, requiring support in the low-scoring category. Why so you think a learning disability "sounds like a social problem?" That is odd. And, oddly enough, I live in an area where the public schools are quite highly regarded. The high school my son attends quite regularly makes lists such as being one of America's top one hundred high schools. It's OK, but it's primarily a student processing plant.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002
Wed, 02-13-2013 - 10:55am

Bordwithyou: <<You don't understand how having a sub score in the 14th percentile in testing represents an anomaly that needs to be addressed when all other sub scores are in the 90th percentile or above?>>

Nope.  Just explain it.  Unless you yourself are not convinced.  Sounds like a social problem.  Can't pay to fix that. 

<< There's probably a brilliant career waiting for you in educational policy analysis then.>>  According to you, I'd fit right in in your area schools. ;)  Alas, we live where we live because of the schools, first and foremost.

<< I am not upset at having to pay for services that my child required to flourish.>>

Then why even bring it up?  Lots of Americans make great sacrifices to live in areas with schools that meet the needs of the reasonably hard-working student.

<< Not are all parents equipped to pay hundreds of thousands of dollars to ensure that their children receive the services they need to flourish. We were, and I can't think of a better way to have spent that money.>>

If a parent is paying hundreds and thousands in services, it may be time to move to a decent school district.

<< I would hardly call over half the time my child was in school a "short time.">>  I was being kind.  That late in the game, it's unadvised to transfer a child out of, then back again to his original school. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002
Wed, 02-13-2013 - 10:40am

Ommy94:  << the teachers, the adjustment counselors .... it is their job to notice variations in any child's learning ability or behavior. When a teacher makes ignorant guesses like, "oh this child is unmotivated or an underachiever because the parents are" this creates an atmosphere where LD and other disorders go unnoticed and children slip through the cracks.>>

It's a teacher's job to teach not just one student but the entire class.  If there's a serious LD that the parent had no idea about, I would be concerned about the ability of the teacher.  Forgetting the neglectful parent or one living in happy ignorance, how can a reasonable parent NOT have any inkling that there's a LD? 

One's child studies for 3 hours and is getting all C's, the reasonable parent has to know there's a LD.

<< it is their job to notice variations in any child's learning ability or behavior. When a teacher makes ignorant guesses like, "oh this child is unmotivated or an underachiever because the parents are" this creates an atmosphere where LD and other disorders go unnoticed and children slip through the cracks.>>

I think a teacher cannot trace variations in a child's learning ability unless she's been his teacher for years.  A parent can. 

As for a teacher attributing poor motivation to a parent's lack of motivation, I just don't see how that can happen.  How would a teacher know how motivated a parent is?  For instance, this year my son's teacher is "big" on parents initialing 3 different homework books.  It's precatory ~ the mother of my son's classmate recently told me she has NOT signed anything this year.  Her son told her the teacher no longer requires signatures.  I had to laugh at his creative lying!  This mom and dad are on top of everything, tutors for their older children, attend every concert, every game, parent-teacher conference, etc.  To the teacher, these parents might seem unmotivated, but they're not.

My point (finally) : a teacher is not in a position to resolve that a child's lack of motivation is due to the parents' lack of motivation.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Wed, 02-13-2013 - 10:36am
You don't understand how having a sub score in the 14th percentile in testing represents an anomaly that needs to be addressed when all other sub scores are in the 90th percentile or above? There's probably a brilliant career waiting for you in educational policy analysis then. I am still advocating a hands-off policy ad the goal, beginning that transition somewhere around age ten. Earlier for some kids, later for others. I am not upset at having to pay for services that my child required to flourish. I am glad we were in a position to do so. I would hardly call over half the time my child was in school a "short time." Not are all parents equipped to pay hundreds of thousands of dollars to ensure that their children receive the services they need to flourish. We were, and I can't think of a better way to have spent that money.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002
Wed, 02-13-2013 - 10:06am

Ommy94:  <<When my child attended a private school, the principal would allow some children to miss school for family vacations. She based her decision on how well the child was doing in school. Her assumption was, if they are doing well, they know the importance of education and can afford to miss a week of school....This same principal blamed my sons academic struggles on his absences due to illness. My son was recently diagnosed with adhd, inattentive type.>>


I missed this earlier.  And I'm sorry to hear your son was diagnosed with adhd.  But why would you say the princiapl "allowed" some children to ditch if they were performing well enough in school?  It's not the principal's decision.  It's the parent's exclusive decision.  If a child underperforms due to 10 or 12 "absentee fun days," then the parent has no grounds for complaint.  She can't run to the principal and say, But you approved a few fun days earlier in the year.

(I know YOU didn't take the 10 or 12 fun days ~ I'm so surprised to hear any parent put the final say on fun days on a principal.)

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