Okay to miss school for fun stuff?

Avatar for cmkristy
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2005
Okay to miss school for fun stuff?
Thu, 01-31-2013 - 2:52pm

Moms cited visiting family members, vacations, special sibling events, concerts, and even “mental health days” as good reasons to take kids out of school. 

Alyssa Chirco, a mother of one who lives outside St. Louis, agrees that parents, not school administrators, know best. “I reserve the right to check my child out of school at any time, for any reason.” 

What is the harm in missing a day here or there? Teachers and administrators talk about lost learning time, but the financial reasons are just as relevant. Most schools are funded using a formula that incorporates the average daily attendance. Absences mean fewer dollars allocated.


What do you think?  Is it okay for students to miss class for fun things? Have you let your children do it before?

 photo snowsiggy.png


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Thu, 02-14-2013 - 2:40pm

It should not cost hundreds of thousands of dollars to get a kid a suitable education, I agree.  But if the school district is not willing to provide the student with the help he needs to thrive, then you either let the kid founder, or go the private route.

The 14th percentile is where my son scored in one of the subcategories of testing for a learning disability.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Thu, 02-14-2013 - 2:42pm

You could look up "gifted/LD," or as some people call it "twice-gifted."  There are many students who are intellectually gifted but who also struggle with a learning disability.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002
Thu, 02-14-2013 - 6:38pm

Bordwith: For days you didn't answer my questions.  I'm not sure you've even addressed them here.

And you did allege you spent hundreds of thousands of dollars for your kid(s)  for special services only.  You wrote <<Not are all parents equipped to pay hundreds of thousands of dollars to ensure that their children receive the services they need to flourish. We were, and I can't think of a better way to have spent that money.>>

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Thu, 02-14-2013 - 7:11pm

Thardy, I don't know what questions you have.  I've tried to explain the situation as best I can.  "Educational services" includes private schooling.  Not "special services" alone.  Special services I would consider to be LD testing, assessments, tutoring, working with an educational coach, that sort of thing.  I'm sorry if I was confusing.

Oh, and by the way, I checked. There are private high schools in your state that offer advanced placement and honors classes.  I just checked the directory of the National Association of Independent Schools, to which we belong, and every state in the union has participating schools.

Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Sat, 02-16-2013 - 3:18pm

Yep, And thanks for those encouraging words, If nothing else she can start at a community college then transfer from there. DD has big dreams and she's a hard worker, Her motto is don't give up!



iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002
Sat, 02-16-2013 - 6:51pm

Jamblessed: <<If nothing else she can start at a community college then transfer from there. DD has big dreams and she's a hard worker, Her motto is don't give up!>>

That sounds like a plan!  She'll be fine. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-17-2003
Thu, 02-21-2013 - 10:27pm

I don't know because she was unwilling to say. I'm not familiar with a child who is at one and the same time "gifted" and yet in need of special services.

Thardy, just a little info. If a child is truly "gifted" they are considered special needs and they are giving special services, at least in this state. In a regular classroom many of these gifted children can appear to be adhd in symptoms, but further testing will indicate they are actually gifted. This can be very difficult to pinpoint. Either way, the school structure can only accommodate them by either offering advanced placement classes, which have declined through the years due to budget cuts or the child is labeled special needs and given an IEP.


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-17-2003
Fri, 02-22-2013 - 6:59am


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-17-2003
Fri, 02-22-2013 - 7:31am


It's a teacher's job to teach not just one student but the entire class.

Yes, so what is your point? You keep wanting to blame the parent, oh well. Regardless of the parents position, it is still the teacher's job to recognize a child's possible LD. I don't know what else to tell you. Even if a parent chooses to seek outside testing or assessments, the assessments are directed back to the teachers. So, I seriously do not understand your point.

And what is so serious about a LD. Many LD are difficult to recognize, barely noticeable and a parent may not see it .... just as a teacher might blame it on lack of motivation. Either way, most parents first line in questioning a possible LD would be directed at the child's teacher.

So please, again, what is your point?

One's child studies for 3 hours and is getting all C's, the reasonable parent has to know there's a LD.

What a loaded statement. Any student studying for 3 hours is clearly motivated. And what criteria do you use to come with studying for 3 hours and getting a C equals a LD?? I would say it’s clear the parents are motivated as well.

What criteria at all do you use to come with a child receiving a C must have a LD??

And you are proving my point. Since a teacher has no clue, she shouldn’t assume lack of motivation in class is due to lack of parental motivation at home. Clearly both parent and child are motivated in this scenario.

As a matter of fact, any teacher plays an integral part, not only in recognizing a potential learning problem, but also in working toward a solution within a 504 plan or an IEP.

A reasonable parent .... what? Where do your kids go to school? You seem to be under the impression that if one expects another do to their job it relieves them of any personal responsibility, which simply isn’t the case. It is simply the teachers job to understand the age appropriate and grade appropriate expectations of ALL her students. lol ... It is not her job to assume lack of motivation or effort is do to lack of parental motivation.

I think a teacher cannot trace variations in a child's learning ability unless she's been his teacher for years. A parent can.

Then this isn't a very good teacher. Teachers should be aware of the learning curve within her class, as well as the state standard set forth by the States Board of Education. If she isn't aware of that, then she isn't doing her job, effectively or otherwise.

And to further this, she should be aware of where the children in class fall within the state standard. It is just simply their jobs and yes, parents should expect teachers to do their jobs.

As for a teacher attributing poor motivation to a parent's lack of motivation, I just don't see how that can happen. How would a teacher know how motivated a parent is?

Good question, but when did I ever say a teacher should know the motivational level of a parent? It’s so odd, Jam is the one who stated it all starts at home and lack of motivation is do to lack of motivation on the parents part. I think this a poor assumption on anyone’s part, but you might want to ask her why she believes this.

However, it is the teachers job to recognize potential LD. I am not at all sure what your dispute is here.

Her son told her the teacher no longer requires signatures. I had to laugh at his creative lying! This mom and dad are on top of everything, tutors for their older children, attend every concert, every game, parent-teacher conference, etc. To the teacher, these parents might seem unmotivated, but they're not.

Yes, but this just proves my point. A teacher should never assume either way. lol ... ya know, I know several teachers and I hear them state, if a child isn’t motivated, neither am I. They will not even offer this child extra help because they believe effort in class and at home comes first .... but, as you said, how do they know? I will say again, they do not know what happens at home, but they should know what a possible LD looks like and they shouldn’t even assume a child is unmotivated. They have no clue what is going on in the child’s head.

My point (finally) : a teacher is not in a position to resolve that a child's lack of motivation is due to the parents' lack of motivation.

If this is your point, then why are you even making it? Who on earth said it is the teacher’s job to resolve a problem at a child’s home? lol ... See, this is what happens when someone steps in and tries to explain what someone else thinks. All I said to Jams is a teacher should never assume a child appearing to lack in effort or motivation has unmotivated parents .... and your example is actually in agreement with that. A parent has no way of knowing what goes on at home so she shouldn’t assume anything. She should be objective and do her job. As I said many posts ago, a child appearing unmotivated, this could be do to any number of reasons, one being a disorder, maybe a LD, my poor vision, lack of sleep the night before, boredom, interest in subject ..... lol .... it is not the teachers job to assume anything about the parents. It is, again, their job to recognize when a child is not working up to expectations for his age and grade.

lol, so really, as the thread suggests, a missed day here or there, for any reason, will not greatly effect a child's learning ability. If a problem exist, it is the teachers job to notify the parent in an objective, constructive manner. If a child seems unmotivated it is not her place to assume this is due to lack of parental motivation.