Okay to miss school for fun stuff?

Avatar for cmkristy
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2005
Okay to miss school for fun stuff?
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Thu, 01-31-2013 - 2:52pm

Moms cited visiting family members, vacations, special sibling events, concerts, and even “mental health days” as good reasons to take kids out of school. 

Alyssa Chirco, a mother of one who lives outside St. Louis, agrees that parents, not school administrators, know best. “I reserve the right to check my child out of school at any time, for any reason.” 

What is the harm in missing a day here or there? Teachers and administrators talk about lost learning time, but the financial reasons are just as relevant. Most schools are funded using a formula that incorporates the average daily attendance. Absences mean fewer dollars allocated.

http://www.today.com/moms/parents-split-over-whether-its-ok-let-kids-miss-school-1B8186531

What do you think?  Is it okay for students to miss class for fun things? Have you let your children do it before?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Wed, 02-13-2013 - 6:24am

That's too bad a principal would call you out like that and blame his absences for his struggles in school.. Or were you reading b/w the lines there? You have every right to disagree with my posts but that doesn't make your own anecdotes right, Lol...  Curious, Is your DS getting services or do you believe, like bord that special education is a stigma that does more harm than good? I find it unusually odd that some people detest labels like special ed but not labels like add, adhd, etc. To each their own. 

 


 


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Registered: 02-12-2013
Tue, 02-12-2013 - 4:38pm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-17-2003
Tue, 02-12-2013 - 10:13am

Jams

In context, I am interpretting this thread to be going in the direction of motivation somehow effecting attendance. If a parent allows a day off here or there this will reflect in the child's motivational level. I believe what some have stated is a day missed here or there isn't going to effect overall performance. If it does, one should investigate the matter.

If one believes this is truly not the teachers responsibility, I don't know where else to go with this. A parent, at home, may not have the educational backward or even awareness of the child's behvaior at school. As far as motivation goes. A child may appear highly motivated at home.

On the flip side of this, a teacher may overlook a child's attentional problems and believe the child is not motivated or lacks effort, when the child actually has adhd or some other disorder or learning disability. And usualy this type of teacher states the same things you do .... it's the parents responsibility or the parents are making excuses. 

Now, the example I gave previously was a principal  blaming my son's absences for his struggles in school. And this is when he was legimatically sick. It not only turns out her assumption was dead wrong, but it did nothing to solve the problem. I could give more examples, but the bottom line, in public schools it is the teachers job to recognize potential learning issues.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-17-2003
Tue, 02-12-2013 - 9:11am

OH, Ok Jams ... I didn't see this response right way.

lol ... here we go, I didn't point a finger at teachers or anyone else. I was questioning your finger pointing solely placed on the parents.

 If a teacher isn't doing her/his job then s/he's fired or re-assigned.

Really? Glad this happens at your schools. Firing teaches is actual pretty difficult around here.

If it's just an observation my kid makes (and she has, Lol!) then it teaches her a life lesson that there are good and bad teachers in this world and there will be a future of good and bad employees, bosses etc. she'll have to deal with too.

Not sure what this means. So, if a teacher makes a fleeting comments your child is not motivated, then it's your (or the parents) fault?? See, if it's a fleeting comments, no worries. If it's a general overall statement on the child's performance, then that could possibly mean there is a problem that needs to be addressed. Maybe it is due to the parents being less motivated or maybe it is due to a a LD or other disorder or maybe the child has vision problems etc etc or a maybe a teacher change is in order.

As far as I know, it is not the bosses job to determine if the adult has personal issues, LD or other disorder, but teachers are responsible for making such observations.

I don't know what you're saying in your second paragraph ommy, Of course a parent fights for her kid. Its the parents that don't that wreck it for everybody else!

Wreck what for everyone else? Jams, what does that even mean? Why should any parent have to fight for what a child is legally entitled to? What exactly are you talking about ... "it's the parents that don't fight that wreck (what) for everyone else". That statement doesn't make any sense to me.

There are only so many hours in a school day and teachers plates are full dealing with the excuses and behaviors more than you realize,

How exactly do you know what I realize? So now, not only is it the parents fault if a child appears to be unmotivated but apparently parents just make excuses for poor behavior?? I don't know what you are talking about or where you come up with all this conjecture.

 Recognizing a potential problem has nothing to do with making excuses. It enables parents and teachers to get the proper help a child needs rather then just assuming the child's parents are the cause of a less then motivated child. Knowledge accomplishes more then ignorance.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-17-2003
Tue, 02-12-2013 - 7:42am

Isn't that pretty much what Jamblessed was talking about? If parents are involved ~ even taking it to the classroom, the principal, the PTO, etc. ~ and the school responds, then the system is working.

I am not sure what Jams was saying and I don't think it becomes any clearer when someone else tries to explain her views. :)

Jams statement blaming parents for lack of motivation in their children, IMO, isn't necessarily true.  But I don't see anywhere where she says the above.

That last bit made my skin crawl. If any of my children had a learning disability, I am supposed to be the first to recognize it. Unlike school teachers, I'm an expert on my child.

Sorry I made your skin crawl and sorry, I do believe we are our children's first advocates, but we are not educational or psychological experts. And whether or not you or the teacher recognizes it first, does not change the fact it's their job to recognize a possible learning disability.

With all my children, of course, I was the "first" to notice something and I was the one to bring it to the school and appropriate doctors .... but again, this does not change the fact the teachers, the adjustment counselors .... it is their job to notice variations in any child's learning ability or behavior. When a teacher makes ignorant guesses like, "oh this child is unmotivated or an underachiever because the parents are" this creates an atmosphere where LD and other disorders go unnoticed and children slip through the cracks.

You know, in another post you comment how parents should help with homework, right? This is good advice, but I have more often then not, heard teachers request parents not do this. They want to know what the knows and doesn't know, what they need to work on and so forth .... why? So they can gauge if there's a learning problem, effort problem, an attentional problem etc and direct the student and parent through the best course of action. Because that is their job.

So again, I agree parents need to be on the ball, but to assume a child lacking in motivation is due to parents lack of motivation is just not accurate. A child's lack of motivation needs to be examined by both the school and the parent.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Tue, 02-12-2013 - 7:11am
I agree. We wouldn't stay with an incompetent doctor, or lawyer. Why stay with an incompetent teacher? Especially when there are so many good ones out there.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Tue, 02-12-2013 - 5:09am

That's an interesting way to look at it..  Or a kid loses out on the opportunity to learn that life isn't about you. You missed my point about my daughter, She has the right to call teachers what she wants but it doesn't change her responsibility and obligations there....  No, You didn't fire a teacher, You just chose to leave, What a way to learn.

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Mon, 02-11-2013 - 7:49pm
My kids' education was way too important to leave to chance. There are, as your daughter observed, both good and bad teachers in the world. And since we're the ones hiring the teachers by choosing the school, we also would fire the teacher by changing schools, or at least hiring a supplemental teacher, if one of the kids happened to draw a lemon one year. It didn't happen often, but when it did, we'd do something about it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Mon, 02-11-2013 - 4:56pm
Kids should learn to advocate for themselves too.

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Mon, 02-11-2013 - 4:46pm

Poor performing schools aren't b/c they are full of kids with LDs. How do you motivate the kid that doesn't want to be there? The kid that has the potential but doesn't apply himself? There are only so many hours in a school day and teachers plates are full dealing with the excuses and behaviors more than you realize, And all that takes away from their jobs to teach.

I don't know what you're saying in your second paragraph ommy, Of course a parent fights for her kid. Its the parents that don't that wreck it for everybody else! Schools can't perform to their fullest potential when kids there aren't and all I'm saying is that starts at home! I find it interesting that you point the finger at "unmotivated" teachers, What does that look like anyway? If a teacher isn't doing her/his job then s/he's fired or re-assigned. If it's just an observation my kid makes (and she has, Lol!) then it teaches her a life lesson that there are good and bad teachers in this world and there will be a future of good and bad employees, bosses etc. she'll have to deal with too. 

 


 


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