Outsourcing Parenting

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2011
Outsourcing Parenting
10
Fri, 08-31-2012 - 1:05pm

Teaching your child to ride a bike is so passé. You may think it’s your job to teach balancing, pedaling, and breaking, but busy parents now have options.

Canadian writer Rebecca Eckler recently confessed to hiring a professional bike-riding counselor to school her daughter in the ways of training wheels and banana seats. Oh, the horror, right? What’s next — a professional Tooth Fairy and an after-school nurse to kiss boo-boos?

http://moms.today.com/_news/2012/08/31/13571962-too-busy-to-teach-your-child-to-ride-a-bike-outsource-it?lite

I just can't decide how I feel about this. One one hand, I know that my kiddos often learn things quicker and without expressing as much frustration, when someone other than my husband or myself teaches them.  However, this just seems like... lazy parenting? What do you think?

Faith

Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.~ Dr Seuss

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
Fri, 08-31-2012 - 5:08pm

 I do not see any issue with it.  Just because someone is a parent it does not mean that they have the skill, personality, desire etc to do absolutely everything that falls under  parenting.   There are some things that either DH or I did based on who was best suited for it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2011
Fri, 08-31-2012 - 5:26pm
I remembrr my 2 younger boys both learned to ride their 2 wheelers with the older kida helping them and not me it was great they didn't want to beconsidered chicken in front of their peers. But i also feelit is my job to teaxh the values and what it means to be a good person
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2006
Fri, 08-31-2012 - 8:45pm

I don't see the big deal. It's like someone giving your kid piano or swimming lessons - if you lack the expertise, you pay someone else. Easy peasy!

At the place where my daughter gets her speech and OT therapies, they had several summer camp programs, one was called Yikes Bikes! and it was very popular. Lots of kids learned to ride, that's important!

Angie

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2001
Sat, 09-01-2012 - 8:38am
I'm more surprolised by the title of the article than the idea of hiring someone to teach your child a skill.

If having someone else teach a child to ride is "outsourcing" what is day care? Has others have pointed out, we pay professionals for many services for our kids. Doesn't mean we're parenting any less.

Parenting is much more complex than teaching a child a specific skill. IMO, true parenting can't be outsourced. Bike riding skills? Piano lessons? Outsource away.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Sat, 09-01-2012 - 10:43am
You know, I gave very little memory of how my kids learned to ride bikes. I remember taking them to the school parking lot on The weekend of evening and whatever with the bike with training wheels, doing the whole safety talk, doing it again a few weeks later when the wheels came off, running behind them holding on to the frame, but I don't remember doing it often. Once with each kid? Five times? ten times? I really have jn clue.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-1999
Re: Outsourcing Parenting
Thu, 09-06-2012 - 10:32pm
I have seen mothers who have an attitude that they are so grateful that God gave them children and their children are such blessings. Even though this seems like a good attitude, it sometimes results in this child-centeredness you speak of. They are just so grateful that they want to see every first, do everything right, provide every opportunity, do everything for them and as the kids grow up, they expect it. They are blessings, they are special, and everyone should treat them that way.

I see my kids as responsibilities. It is my responsibility that they learn manners and compassion and empathy and critical thinking skills. I try to view them objectively at times, like a future employer or life partner might and think, do I want to work with or be friends with that person? I try to treat them with respect and kindness so they learn that from me, but we talk a lot about how you behave towards others, about how to try to see things from others points of view. They also have rules and responsibilities they must follow.

I also realize that they are their own persons with their own personalities and there is only so much influence that I have. My mother often said, "Children grow up in spite of what we do, not because of what we do."
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Re: Outsourcing Parenting
Thu, 09-06-2012 - 10:51pm

LOL the "mama stink eye" - my kids called it "the German look."  They claim I have the same look that my dad and my grandmother all give members of the next generation as a warning to "shape up or you're in for a heap of trouble when we get home!"  I don't know if I actually can produce "the German look" as well as my dad can (we grew up terrified of "the look"), but it worked to keep my kids in line most of the time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Thu, 09-06-2012 - 11:00pm
mappers wrote:
I have seen mothers who have an attitude that they are so grateful that God gave them children and their children are such blessings. Even though this seems like a good attitude, it sometimes results in this child-centeredness you speak of. They are just so grateful that they want to see every first, do everything right, provide every opportunity, do everything for them and as the kids grow up, they expect it. They are blessings, they are special, and everyone should treat them that way.


Have you met my sister and her adopted son?? :smileywink:  My sister underwent 5 years of fertility treatments before deciding to adopt a baby from Korea. It took another 3 years before a child was placed with them.  My sister took great pride in her parenting style in which the child is never told "no." Scary thought IMHO. I think Kyle could have been a fun kid to be around (he's now 8 or 9) but he's turned out to be self-centered, selfish, and demanding in the extreme. I don't know how he socializes at school, but I know in the family, most of his cousins don't want to play with him, his grandparents no longer have the patience or stamina to deal with him, and his aunts and uncles try to be kind in their tolerance of him - but we often go outside for a walk to get away from him at family gatherings.  And my sister thinks we are all the ones with the problem.