Parents Post Pictures as Punishment

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Registered: 07-05-2005
Parents Post Pictures as Punishment
Wed, 10-24-2012 - 12:49pm

The rise of social media has changed work, play -- and many aspects of parenting. For some moms and dads, it has even provided new ways to discipline. In the latest edition of "I'm getting back at my child on Facebook," one couple has taken to the social network to embarrass their daughter in a highly creative way.

Instead of a traditional punishment, the mom and dad of two used their daughter's cellphone to post silly (read: mortifying) pictures of themselves on her Facebook wall. The girl's brother, Reddit user AustinMac posted one of the photos (see below) over the weekend with the caption: "My parents took away my sisters phone for the week. They've uploaded about 10 of these to her facebook. Doing it right!"

His sister's offense? "She got fresh," AustinMac told a fellow Redditor.

Well, that's an interesting approach.  What do you think of this type of punishment?

 photo snowsiggy.png

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-1998
Wed, 10-24-2012 - 2:15pm

It depends on what their goal is. If they want to put enmity between themselves and their children, and do the same between the girl and her brother, they've done a great job. But if their goal is get the girl to feel bad about her behavior and change it, they're out of luck.

The interesting thing about shame is that it only works to alter behavior if it comes from inside the person who behaved badly. If I'm rude to someone, I will eventually feel ashamed enough to apologize, but if the person I'm rude to films me being rude and posts it on Youtube or Facebook, then I'm less likely to feel genuine shame and remorse for my actions.

In other words, you can't inflict shame on someone else to get them to change their ways, but you can humiliate them, which does nothing but ruin the relationship. I guess that's the path these parents have chosen.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2012
Wed, 10-24-2012 - 2:33pm

As long as it's pictures of themselves and not embarrassing pictures of the kids, it sounds fine...I don't know how effective it would be, but what the heck?  Personally, I'd take the social media away from the kid as the punishment.  That really hits home.

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Registered: 08-22-2009
Wed, 10-24-2012 - 7:10pm

  In both a parenting class that I took and in most of the reading I have done on parenting the most effective way of decipline is when there is an actual connection between the offence and the punishment.  Kid leaves their bike out, they loose it for a few days etc.  I am not seeing how this has any connection to any offence she may have done.

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Registered: 03-01-2001
Mon, 10-29-2012 - 7:54pm

I think the parents need to think about what they are doing. My mother had a PhD in Publicly Humiliate My Daughter, and would do so on a regular basis. She admitted to a neighbor once it was what she did for fun. Most parents do things they later wish they hadn't. It's one thing to embarrass / humiliate your child in private or around close friends and family. Publicly is a whole other story. And don't forget about privacy issues - if it's on the internet, no matter what your privacy settings are, someone can get to your information and pictures if they want to bad enough.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2011
Mon, 10-29-2012 - 10:47pm

I'm not totally opposed to it. Since I work with teens every day, I can appreciate how this would be funny - teenagers are weird about what is embarassing and what is actually a way to bond with kids.

As punishment, however, I would have taken a more serious approach to the problem, if it were - in fact -a problem. I personally don't mess around with discipline when it's necessary. 

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Registered: 09-16-2002
Wed, 10-31-2012 - 3:23pm

I think Facebook is probably better than being made to stand in front of Walmart (with your mother right next to you in a chair), holding up a big sign that reads "I lied to my mother."  Thankfully the manager of the store told the woman she could not be there and they left.  Seems to me it would have been more effective to do it front of the school he attends.  ;)  I don't have kids, and when I see things like this, I wonder why others have them!  Seemed like a very passive-aggressive way to deal with the kid.

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

.  -Albert Einstein