Publicly Humiliating Teens

Avatar for cmkristy
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2005
Publicly Humiliating Teens
Thu, 09-12-2013 - 10:26am

If your 11-year-old daughterwas twerking at a school dance, would you want the world to know it? One California mom, Frances Hena, felt so disrespected by her daughter’s dirty dancing that she disrespected her daughter right back -- by forcing her to stand near a busy intersection with a sign confessing what she’d done, according to Gawker

Sure, twerking, a “dance made popular by young people” which “involves moving your bottom in very sexual and inappropriate way,” (we’re loving this description by23ABCNews), is probably not something an 11-year-old should be doing in public, much less at school. And we respect a mom’s right to discipline her daughter over it. But presumably her concern about her daughter keeping private things private does not go both ways. Why not give her consequences along with a stiff, but respectful, talking-to about the consequences of growing up too fast and the sexualization of young girls? 

Read more here-

What do you think about this type of punishment?  Do feel that public humiliation is effective?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2008
Thu, 09-12-2013 - 10:38am

My mother used public humiliation as a means of discipline and believe you me, it worked. My brother and sisters and I were more afraid of mom finding out about something we should not have been doing because of what she might do or make us do than anything else. I'd much rather have been victim of corporal punishment than public humiliation any day.

As far as using it myself for my children, I never did.


Community Leader
Registered: 07-26-1999
Thu, 09-12-2013 - 11:14am
IMO its the parent showing a kid that publicly humiliating someone is acceptable. Well, my mom can publicly humiliate me, its fine for me to do it to someone that is doing something I don't like. I think discipline needs to be kept at home and done in a more productive way than this.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-1998
Thu, 09-12-2013 - 1:02pm

If an 11 year old girl knows about twerking (I hate even typing that word) and thinks it's okay for her to do, there's a lot that's wrong in her house. The parents need to look at how they're communicating their values, because something obviously isn't working. A pre-teen with self-respect isn't going to think she needs to go shake her bum around in public to get attention because she'll know she doesn't really want that kind of attention.

Avatar for melissamc
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2007
Thu, 09-12-2013 - 1:46pm
I don't agree with public humiliation, I think it sends the wrong message. I'm sure there are other ways you can make an impression on a teen that this behavior is unacceptable. I agree with ashmama that they need to take a hard look at the core values they are teaching to their children.