Reverse Mommy Guilt?

Avatar for cmkristy
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2005
Reverse Mommy Guilt?
Tue, 03-05-2013 - 2:14pm

Good mothers, it seems, are supposed to feel guilt about almost everything, from what we feed our kids to how much TV they’re allowed to watch. The biggest culprit? Leaving your children to do something on your own — whether it’s work, exercise, or even spending a long weekend with the spouse — appears to take top honors in the mommy guilt-trip hall of shame.

It's ok to feel happy about going to work. Really, it is. But what if you adore your children and you just don’t feel guilty? Some moms pursue their careers and enjoy much-deserved down time with a happy heart and a clear conscience… until they start to wonder, shouldn’t I be feeling that infamous mom guilt?

Ahhh, mommy guilt.  Do you ever feel it?   If not, do you ever feel a *wee* bit guilty that you don't? ;)

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Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Tue, 03-05-2013 - 10:16pm

This deserves a place on the SAH/WOH debate board, Ha!  Yes, I've gone through mommy guilt and frankly, I don't believe a mom who says she has never felt that on any level.  My kids' are teenagers/pre-teens now and  I still feel twinges of guilt, Guilt is an internal thing for me though and I do admit I'm too hard on myself sometimes, It's been humbling to watch my kids grow up, They're unassuming and pretty great kids and I know I'm incredibly lucky! 



iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Fri, 03-08-2013 - 10:25am

 My son is only four months old and I haven't felt any guilt yet, but I haven't had to make any serious parenting decisions yet. It is very important for me to have time to exercise and have alone time with my DH. Feeling happy & satisfied with my life allows me to be a better mom. I had a 14 week maternity leave and soon discovered that staying at home is not something I would choose to do. I work 4 days a week so my son spends 2 days a week with each grandmother. Going to work actullay provides a break for me and allows me to have much needed adult interaction.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2006
Fri, 03-22-2013 - 10:57am

The Mommy-Guilt Cure: Dr. Amador


Guilt is Bad
Here’s the first thing you need to understand: If Mommy’s not happy, no one’s happy. If you feel guilty you likely feel sad, even depressed, and are self-critical or resentful. Guilt hurts you and your family.

Guilt is Good
Okay, not so simple. Guilt exists because as our species evolved, those of us who felt guilty when we left our children for too long went home sooner. We were the ones at the cave entrance, club in hand, when the tiger came sniffing around. We were the ones that made sure the fire was well stoked so our offspring didn’t freeze to death. Our children and our genes survived. So guilt is a good thing.