Right Age to Have Children?

Avatar for cmkristy
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2005
Right Age to Have Children?
6
Thu, 07-11-2013 - 10:20am

When it comes to having a child, there’s so much for women to consider: Biological clocks, suitable partners, career ambitions and fertility factors.

While the mean age at first birth in the U.S. is just over 25,according to the CDC, many women can’t imagine having a baby that young – just a few years after graduating from college, with dreams of exploring the world and at the start of their career.

So with many delaying motherhood for work and other reasons, and with couples able to conceive later in life with the help of modern medicine, it’s commonplace to see first-time moms in their 30s and even 40s. 

http://www.today.com/moms/whats-right-age-have-baby-6C10574513

What do you think? What's the right age to have a child? How old were you when you had your first child? If you could do it over again, would you have him/her at that age?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-1998
Thu, 07-11-2013 - 12:31pm

My thinking on this has changed a lot over the years. There's no right time to have a child. It's disruptive no matter when you do it. You're never going to be rich enough, settled enough, far enough along in your career, so why not just do it while your fertility is still good?

I had my first at 32 and it has worked out for me (easy births, no fertility issues, lots of energy), but I've known a lot of people who weren't so fortunate. I think that if you've finished your degree and you meet the right person, get married and start your family while you're still young. You can sort out your career,buying a house, graduate degrees, etc., later on. It seems foolish to put off a major biological event over which you don't have that much control in favor of the things you can control.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2008
Thu, 07-11-2013 - 1:01pm

I had my first child at 20 and my last child at 34. Physically, it was much easier to have and take care of a child at 20 than at 34. Financially, it was much easier for me to take care of a child at 34 than at 20.

If I had to do it all over again I would have had all my children while I was younger. Everyone always talks about the financial burden of a child but no one wants to think about the physical burden. IMO, financial problems are much easier to overcome than physical ones.

Brenda

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2011
Thu, 07-11-2013 - 3:48pm
There is never a perfect age, but I do think that some are better than others. You need to have some fun, get established financially, and be sure that you are in a stable relationship. I think that your mid to late 20s, early 30s are ideal. I personally wouldn't want to deal with toddlers in my 40s! I was 27 when I had my first. I cringe when I see younger girls barely out of their teens that want to have a baby. I think they need to live a little before taking on that kind of responsibility, enjoy being young. The question I have is for what should you do if you haven't met the man you want to have children with by the time you are in your 30s. Should you settle just because your biological clock is ticking?

Chelsea

"Minds are like parachutes. They only function when they are open."

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
Thu, 07-11-2013 - 6:04pm

Aside from not while a teen I do not think there is a perfect age.  There are too many variables and pluses and minus to each.

I was 24-30 when I had my kids.  I do think that it worked out well.  I like the fact that by 50 I was done with hands on pareting.

This may be an issue for my children. Because of health reasons at least 2 of them will have a shorter window than most.  A non issue for one who never intended having children anyway.  A big issue for another who does want them. She is 28 now and has been told that window should be closed by the time she is 35. 

Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Thu, 07-11-2013 - 6:06pm

I had my first child at 33 and my last child at 38, No I wouldn't want to birth a baby in my 40s.  I am enjoying the stages of my kids' life and I'm in my late 40s.  I don't think there's one RIGHT time to have a child but I do think there are better times than others. 

 

 

Community Leader
Registered: 07-26-1999
Fri, 07-12-2013 - 4:13pm

brensticker wrote:
<p>I had my first child at 20 and my last child at 34. Physically, it was much easier to have and take care of a child at 20 than at 34. Financially, it was much easier for me to take care of a child at 34 than at 20.</p><p>If I had to do it all over again I would have had all my children while I was younger. Everyone always talks about the financial burden of a child but no one wants to think about the physical burden. IMO, financial problems are much easier to overcome than physical ones.</p>

This sums up a lot of my thoughts.  Yes, I had my first one at 18 and I struggled financially juggling raising her and working full time and going to college part time, but I was much more flexible, spontanteous and enjoyed raising her.  I had my second two at 30 and 32, and I was much tired-er, less flexible and more anxious about parenting and my career and more set in my ways.  If I had to do it again, I would definitely have 1, had the little two farther apart, and 2, had them closer to my mid-20's.  Financially we are better off with the second two, but its a lot harder of a juggling act for us.

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