The Secret to a Happy Marriage?

Avatar for cmkristy
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2005
The Secret to a Happy Marriage?
9
Mon, 06-17-2013 - 11:20am

For dads aiming at marital bliss, a new study suggests just two factors are especially important: being engaged with the kids, for sure -- but also doing a fair share of the household chores.

In other words, just taking the children outside for a game of catch won't cut it.

"In our study, the wives thought father involvement with the kids and participation in household work are all inter-related and worked together to improve marital quality," said Adam Galovan, lead author of the study and a researcher at the University of Missouri, in Columbia. "They think being a good father involves more than just doing things involved in the care of children."

http://www.ivillage.com/dads-who-bond-kids-help-keep-marriage-strong/6-a-539012

Do you agree? Is the secret to a happy marriage a husband that helps out with chores around the house, as well as spending time with the children?

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Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Thu, 06-27-2013 - 7:53am

beachcomber7 wrote:
<p><span style="font-family:comic sans ms,sans-serif; font-size:medium">DH &amp; I will celebrate our 43rd weding aniversary on July 4th.  The secret to a long and happy mariage?  No bit secret.  Have a sense of humor and be flexible.  Also COMMUNICATE with each other, and make time for each other as a couple, especially when you have children at home.  Put your spouse as a priority.    Once the kids are "grown and gone" you don't want to be married to a stranger.  Make time for <strong>each other</strong> when the kids are growing up.  Our kids are 41 and 39, so we have been empty nesters for a while, and they both live in other parts of the country.  Be happy with what you have and enjoy simple pleasures.  </span></p>

Nice share.

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2013
Wed, 06-26-2013 - 11:45am

DH & I will celebrate our 43rd weding aniversary on July 4th.  The secret to a long and happy mariage?  No bit secret.  Have a sense of humor and be flexible.  Also COMMUNICATE with each other, and make time for each other as a couple, especially when you have children at home.  Put your spouse as a priority.    Once the kids are "grown and gone" you don't want to be married to a stranger.  Make time for each other when the kids are growing up.  Our kids are 41 and 39, so we have been empty nesters for a while, and they both live in other parts of the country.  Be happy with what you have and enjoy simple pleasures. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2012
Tue, 06-25-2013 - 2:07pm

The secret to a happy marriage is forgiveness.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2012
Tue, 06-25-2013 - 2:05pm

No deenasdad, This only applies to two working parent homes. The traditional SAH/WOHP home nolonger exists!

My wife will be shocked! ; )

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-1998
Tue, 06-25-2013 - 9:16am

What do you mean "the traditional SAH/WOHP home no longer exists?"  It certainly does in my house, although DH works from home. However, I don't think it's fair to expect him to do as much housework as I do, since I have the time and he doesn't. This isn't sexism, just a rational, equitable distribution of labor.

And I think the secret to a happy marriage is putting your spouse first, ahead of your kids and your family of origin. Advice columns are filled with letters from unhappy women complaining that their DH won't stand up to his mother and men complaining that their wives listen more to their families than their husbands.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
Tue, 06-25-2013 - 8:33am

I think the secret to a happy marrige is whatever works for them.

But to the question, when I was a SAHM I was more concerned with DH spending time with the kids than him doing chores.  A toilet does not care who cleans it but a child does care who spends time with it.  So he did a lot of the childcare evenings and weekends.  It gave me a chance to do some of the chores that are easier to do without kids underfoot.    But there were a few times when chores were not done becuase I did not have the chance but they needed done and I was too tired and he stepped in and did them and I was very grateddful. But I tried hard not to take advantage of that. 

Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Tue, 06-25-2013 - 7:35am

No deenasdad, This only applies to two working parent homes. The traditional SAH/WOHP home nolonger exists!

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2012
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 10:53pm

So the secret to a happy marriage is the husband going to work every day for eight or ten hours and then coming home  and doing chores the wife couldn't manage to do in that same eight hours?  What the heck was she doing all day?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2007
Tue, 06-18-2013 - 12:58pm

It certainly doesn't hurt!  I know that I'm much more relaxed when I have help around the house.  Being more relaxed just means I'll have more time for my husband and kiddo.  There are a lot of different things that go into making a happy marriage though, not just housework.  :) 

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