Student Wins Stalking Order Against Parents

Avatar for cmkristy
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Registered: 07-05-2005
Student Wins Stalking Order Against Parents
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Fri, 12-28-2012 - 2:47pm

A 21-year-old theatre student has obtained a civil stalking restraining order against her parents after convincing a judge that they attempt to control all aspects of her daily life.

Aubrey Ireland is a gifted theatre major at the College-Conservatory of Music at the University of Cincinnati, often winning major roles in her school's musicals. Her latest win wasn't at her prestigious music conservatory, but in court after she filed a civil stalking order against her parents. Earlier this month, Common Pleas Court Judge Jody Luebbers ruled in her favor, ordering that her parents must stay at least 500 feet from their only child until September 2013.

"They basically thought that they were paying for my college tuition and living expenses that they could tell me what to do who to hang out with ... basically control all of my daily life," Ireland told ABC News.

College Student Wins Stalking Order Against Parents

This is just an odd story! Where do you think parents should draw the line when it comes to monitoring their children that are away at college (especially when they are footing the bill)?

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Avatar for skystrider
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Registered: 06-14-1999
Sat, 12-29-2012 - 10:10am

Her mother may be a bit over-protective, but I hope she's not paying for her schooling and living expenses anymore, since her daughter has made it perfectly clear that she doesn't need her parents anymore.

Avatar for jamblessedthree
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Registered: 10-23-2001
Sun, 12-30-2012 - 6:46am
Oh, the evils of paying for your child's college education, LOL! I can't imagine, OTOH I can see where paying for you to go to school meant I am going to attach all the conditions I want on you too... UC's college conservatory of music is a well known one but lately Cincinnati has been getting some really stupid publicity!

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-1999
Sun, 12-30-2012 - 9:19am
Very weird story. Is there any proof one way or the other or is it just she said/they said. When a parent calls their child a spoiled brat, red flags pop up in my brain. If you are accusing your child of being a brat, you need to look in the mirror. I hope that when my DDs are in college, I can truly trust them and the parenting I've done so far. If one of them has a mental illness though, that's a different story. Mental illnesses are pretty debilitating (undiagnosed). I'm not sure a college student would be able to excel if she had one (as her parents claim). Kind of doubt that's the case here.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2012
Sun, 12-30-2012 - 5:59pm

I wonder if little Aubrey would also like her parents money to be kept at least 500 feet away at all times?  Gotta love the indignance of those who live under the auspices of others but rail about their independence.  Personally, I'd cut her off and then see how long that restraining order remains in effect. ; )

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2009

<indignance of those who live under the auspices of others but rail about their independence.>

What's with the word salad? What does indignance mean? and how can it live under the auspices of others but rail about their independence?

I think that any parent can say I'm paying based on certain parameters, and kid can agree or disagree to fulfill them or not, no civil suit necessary.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
Tue, 01-01-2013 - 7:45pm

  These parents went way overboard in the parerting of an adult child.

  The goal of raising children is to raise independent adults.  The perk of that is not having to be in their life 24/7. To trust that they can make their own decisions. 

  A parent has a choice of paying or not paying for expenses of an adult child but that choosing to do so does not give one complete control of the child.

Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Wed, 01-02-2013 - 8:23am
No, Not really. A parent that pays for further education typically has had that set aside for a very long time, No charging it to a credit card nor are there conditions that if I do this for you I expect that in return. How strange is the theory that a child agrees or disagrees to "parameters", Lol, And some kids get written out of wills based on parameters too!

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009

  Paramters or what I see as a better word expectatons, yes.  Complete control no.  Complete control is what these parents wanted.

"The dean's list student's complaints against her parents began when she realized they'd installed monitoring software on her computer and her phone. They paid unannounced visits, traveling 600 miles from their home in Kansas, to meet with Aubrey's department head.

"My mom has always been very overly involved," Ireland said. "I would have to get on Skype all the time to show them that I was in my dorm room, or there were nights I had to leave my Skype on all night and my mom would watch me basically sleep."

 Monitoring a tween or teens phone, computer or  their whereabouts may  be normal.  monitoring an adults is not,

   Keeping an eye in a sleeping infant may be normal, keeping an eye on a sleeping adult is not.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2009
Wed, 01-02-2013 - 10:23am
My kid is senior in high school, who will soon be 18. There are certainly conditions she must meet for us to contribute to her tuition, room and board. They are not very onerous, she must get accepted to an accredited institution of higher learning and she must maintain good academic standing at that school. She can major in anything she wants, but we expect her to be realistic about it. If she majors in philosophy, her post-college economic outlook will be different than if she were a engineering major, but it's her choice.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2012
Wed, 01-02-2013 - 11:00pm

indignant...indignance...indignation..."feeling or showing anger or annoyance at what is perceived as unfair"...auspices..."with the help, support or protection of"...i.e. that the young woman in question is "angry" at her parents for not repecting her "independence" while, at the same time, not being "independent" by expecting them to "help and support" her.  I'm not sure words with more than two syllables constitute "word salad" ; )

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