Student Wins Stalking Order Against Parents

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2005
Student Wins Stalking Order Against Parents
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Fri, 12-28-2012 - 2:47pm

A 21-year-old theatre student has obtained a civil stalking restraining order against her parents after convincing a judge that they attempt to control all aspects of her daily life.

Aubrey Ireland is a gifted theatre major at the College-Conservatory of Music at the University of Cincinnati, often winning major roles in her school's musicals. Her latest win wasn't at her prestigious music conservatory, but in court after she filed a civil stalking order against her parents. Earlier this month, Common Pleas Court Judge Jody Luebbers ruled in her favor, ordering that her parents must stay at least 500 feet from their only child until September 2013.

"They basically thought that they were paying for my college tuition and living expenses that they could tell me what to do who to hang out with ... basically control all of my daily life," Ireland told ABC News.

College Student Wins Stalking Order Against Parents

This is just an odd story! Where do you think parents should draw the line when it comes to monitoring their children that are away at college (especially when they are footing the bill)?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2012
Sat, 01-12-2013 - 9:27pm

Personally, I dont' feel my use of language should be limited to the iVillage lexicon or to the linguistic understanding of the lowest common denominator...but for those who diagree, I'll be on the lookout for the bonfires consuming the collective works of Shakespear, Twain, Dickens and Tolkien. ; )

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2009
Wed, 01-09-2013 - 10:45pm
Indignance is not common usage. And none other than iVillage flags it as a misspelling. (Yeah, not the most authoritative of sources, but it is a source that represents your target audience.) Perfectly coherent? Not as I read it. Feel free to ignore my editorial comments.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2012
Mon, 01-07-2013 - 11:39pm

"Indignance" - a word in the modern domain, not only because I chose to use it, and used it properly, but also because it's defined and used, again properly, all over the internet.  But do you really want to be editing and rewriting other people's perfectly coherent posts simply because they used a word unfamiliar to you or because you think you're a better judge of wording?  Sounds a bit arrogant to me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2009
Mon, 01-07-2013 - 12:14pm

Yea, I agree music..

These parents have gone overboard. When we help our kids with their educational expenses,we are not buying our kids. They still have a right to estalblish a life emotionally independant of us.

It is strange but if a man was controlling his wife like this (cameras monitoring her when he was not home, contacting her employee etc), everyone would be up in arms.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sun, 01-06-2013 - 6:10pm

I think that instead of going to court, if this young woman really wanted to be independent, she should have said "Mom & Dad, I'm an adult & I want to live my own life, so I'm not going to take your money for school tuition--therefore you have no right to tell me what to do."  I also think the parents are nutty.  Where I live, installing monitoring software on a phone or computer of an adult is illegal--it doesn't matter if it's your child.  And if you are so untrusting or what your child is going to do in college, then you shouldn't be paying to send them away to college anyway.  My DD went away to college and I couldn't imagine having her report in to me every night if she was in her room or what she was doing.  I think that the conditions that normal parents would put on their child would be that if they are paying for college, they want the child to get decent grades, not party too much and things like that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2009
Sat, 01-05-2013 - 8:30pm
indignance - not a word in modern domain. I know the meaning of words, including those greater than two syllables. Your post was incoherent. Why wouldn't you originally say "that the young woman in question is "angry" at her parents for not respecting her "independence" while, at the same time, not being "independent" by expecting them to "help and support her".? HTH
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2012
Wed, 01-02-2013 - 11:00pm

indignant...indignance...indignation..."feeling or showing anger or annoyance at what is perceived as unfair"...auspices..."with the help, support or protection of"...i.e. that the young woman in question is "angry" at her parents for not repecting her "independence" while, at the same time, not being "independent" by expecting them to "help and support" her.  I'm not sure words with more than two syllables constitute "word salad" ; )

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2009
Wed, 01-02-2013 - 10:23am
My kid is senior in high school, who will soon be 18. There are certainly conditions she must meet for us to contribute to her tuition, room and board. They are not very onerous, she must get accepted to an accredited institution of higher learning and she must maintain good academic standing at that school. She can major in anything she wants, but we expect her to be realistic about it. If she majors in philosophy, her post-college economic outlook will be different than if she were a engineering major, but it's her choice.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009

  Paramters or what I see as a better word expectatons, yes.  Complete control no.  Complete control is what these parents wanted.

"The dean's list student's complaints against her parents began when she realized they'd installed monitoring software on her computer and her phone. They paid unannounced visits, traveling 600 miles from their home in Kansas, to meet with Aubrey's department head.

"My mom has always been very overly involved," Ireland said. "I would have to get on Skype all the time to show them that I was in my dorm room, or there were nights I had to leave my Skype on all night and my mom would watch me basically sleep."

 Monitoring a tween or teens phone, computer or  their whereabouts may  be normal.  monitoring an adults is not,

   Keeping an eye in a sleeping infant may be normal, keeping an eye on a sleeping adult is not.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Wed, 01-02-2013 - 8:23am
No, Not really. A parent that pays for further education typically has had that set aside for a very long time, No charging it to a credit card nor are there conditions that if I do this for you I expect that in return. How strange is the theory that a child agrees or disagrees to "parameters", Lol, And some kids get written out of wills based on parameters too!

 


 


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