Taking a Solo Vacation?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2005
Taking a Solo Vacation?
Thu, 08-02-2012 - 10:14am

Here, honey. This week, you need to take the kids to soccer and Girl Scouts and gymnastics camp. There's not much in the fridge, so you'll need to hit the grocery store. Come to think of it, there's not much in the way of clean clothes, either, so you'll need to do laundry. Oh, and don't forget to mow the lawn. Now, have a blast! See you when I get back from vacation!

Does jetting off to some exotic locale while your hubs and the kids stay home sound like a dream come true? Well, go ahead and wake up: Reuters reports that these days, momsand dads are making solo trips a reality.

Trend Alert: More Moms Are Taking Vacations Without the Family-  http://www.ivillage.com/moms-and-dads-are-taking-solo-vacations/6-a-477223#ixzz22OjyY9as

What do you think of this trend? Brilliant? Selfish?  Would you ever consider taking a solo vacation?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Thu, 08-02-2012 - 11:35am
I take solo mini-vacations all the time since my kids are no longer little. I travel for work, and if the place I have to go is nice, I often pack a few extra days on to the end of the trip. My boss is sending me to Saskatoon and Calgary in October, and I added a four day extension - weeken until Tuesday to the trip which I am going to spend at Banff National Park. Can. Not. Wait.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-04-2011
Thu, 08-02-2012 - 11:53am

I think it is a fantastic idea! I have a friend who started taking trips about two years ago with some girlfriends instead of her husband and it is working out great for them. He's now planning hunting/camping trips with the guys (stuff she hates) and she's touring cities he won't go to and site seeing with girlfriends.

While I love my bf and daughter more than anything, a few days away with a couple of friends sounds heavenly! Now if only I can get over the guilt of leaving them alone I think I could really get into it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
Thu, 08-02-2012 - 4:42pm

 Technically I have taken a couple of solo vacations, but short 3-4 days ones.  I went away with my church ladies group for a 3 day weekend and when my sister turned 50 her DH threw her a surprise party.  DH was not able to get time off work so I went alone.

 I do not think that either DH or I would take a longer vacation without the other but I see nothing wrong with it. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2006
Thu, 08-02-2012 - 6:00pm

My parents have been taking seperate vacations for years. They have very different interests, and after 41 years, have taken plenty of vacations together. I'd say they both head out in different directions 2 to 3 times a year, respectively, without the other. I think it's fantastic. Just cause you're married, and/or a parent, doesn't mean you're attached at the hip and can't do your own thing!


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2011
Thu, 08-02-2012 - 7:27pm

No I don't think there is anything wrong with parents taking solo vacations.  Especially if your household is anything like mine.  In my home I am responsible for everything which I what happens when we take a vacation.  I need a vacation where I don't have to make sure everyone else's needs are getting met before mine.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2001
Sun, 08-05-2012 - 5:04pm

I think it's great if it rejuvenates you.  I've never done it myself, but I have sometimes wished I could.

After thinking about this for awhile, though, I wonder if this solution is just a bandaid on a bigger problem.  It seems that 30+ years after the women's movement, women are taking the vast majority of responsibility for their children and households.

I've seen very few families - my own included - where there is a true balance of responsibility.  I know two men who were the stay at home dads, and they had a situation very close to balanced, because the moms would come home and hit the ground running to address whatever was happening with the kids or the household as soon as they got in.

My experience and observation has been that many working dads feel entitled to "down time" after work, whether their partner works outside the home or not.  This leaves many moms feeling run down, under appreciated, and taken advantage of.

I know that when I was a SAHM, I was completely taken for granted.  I also know that it was as much my fault as it was my husband's and more my fault than it was my childrens'.  Now that I also work full-time, I find I am more vocal about asking for others to pitch in and take a share in the responsibility.  For a long time, it was hard to get my husband to understand that by helping the kids with homework, cleaning up after dinner, picking up the groceries, etc, he was not helping me - he was doing his share as a parent and partner.

It is still a struggle to balance our responsibilities, but at least we communicate about it now.  I had to go through a process of saying to myself, hmmm...what would my poor tired hard-working husband have to do to take care of himself if he were single and not the married father of four?  Oh - he'd have to cook, do laundry, walk his dog, buy food, and pay bills.  So why would I, as a working mother of four, take those responsibilities off his shoulders?  We have to share them.

It's greatly improved our relationship, because I'm not so resentful anymore and he's much more in tune with what goes on in our family.

Now when we go on vacation, he prepares the recreational stuff and gets the car and house ready while I supervise packing of clothes and food.  That way, we can all enjoy our vacation once we get there together.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Mon, 08-06-2012 - 7:40am
I never took solo vacations when my kids were little. Even when I traveled for business in those days, I took along the children and a nanny. It was expensive and not much fun. Now my youngest is 16 and he and his Dad are fully capable of "batching it" for a few days. I haven't traveled with girlfriends, though, except for colleagues on business trips whom I sometimes actually like and consider friends. I prefer to take my solo vacations solo.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Mon, 08-06-2012 - 7:26pm

I DO think it's brilliant for women, or men, to head off on their own if they feel they need a break from normal life. Someone asked questions about how it could work with kids and such. To that I'd say that it's not always going to work. Someone may have several young children and can't simply jet off to an exotic location. Or they may hire someone to stay with the kids while they're gone.

I don't think it has to be an exotic location. I think it could whatever a man or woman needs to recharge their batteries. If she chooses that simply staying at a nice hotel and doing some shopping for a few days just hours from home is what she needs, by all means do it if you can afford it. If the husband wants to rent a cabin somewhere and spend his days fishing, good for him. I think all people need time to themselves. Not everyone would choose to go on a vaction by themselves, they may get their alone time in other ways/places, but some just might want to get away at that exotic local.

But, assuming you can swing it and you're not leaving kids neglected, I think it's brilliant. I actually started thinking about such a thing a could 7 or 8 months ago (I hadn't read about it or heard of others doing it). i just started feeling this need to get out on my own for a few days. I haven't done it yet, and I don't know if I will. I have a child in high school and while my husband could certainly handle everything at home and my husband would be fine, I couldn't leave my child if I didn't have to. I figure that he'll be off to college soon enough and I just want to hang out at home as much as possible. I don't even want to go that far--just some places in my own state to pursue my hobby is my dream.  

I can't afford to go anywhere far away, but I sometimes relish just a day to do as I want: shop, spend the day reading, working on my hobbies, visiting some close by place i've always wanted to check out, etc. I need to have a day every once in a while. So it's not exotic, but it seems to be enough to recharge me for a while.

And yes, I encourage my husband to do the same, although he doesn't  do that. We all recharge differently and for him, being in the man cave watching sci fi every now and then for a few hours seems to be enough.