'We Have No Choice': One Woman's Ordeal with Texas' New Sonogram Law

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2011
'We Have No Choice': One Woman's Ordeal with Texas' New Sonogram Law
33
Fri, 03-16-2012 - 8:04pm

This has me so incredibly angry right now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2005
Gosh, but the mother wouldn't get breast cancer if she had the baby (according to another thread) so that would even out the costs.


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2009

The story is horrific and any attempts to justify these laws are nauseating.

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2006
"Gosh, but the mother wouldn't get breast cancer if she had the baby (according to another thread) so that would even out the costs."

This is a complete misinterpretation of what I wrote. In the other thread, i pointed out that women who choose to remain childless yet point the finger at those using maternity leave have an increased chance of breast cancer because they didn't have children...so it is highly hypocritical of them to claim that others are somehow "taking" something from them. Please do not take my comments out of context.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2006
I respect your decision. I don't know how someone could have counseled you to have abortion without doing genetic testing, which would have shown definitively if the baby had a chromosome disorder...it sounds like medical malpractice. Genetic testing is not used solely by those who would consider abortion...it can also be used to help prepare parents to take care of a special needs baby. Personally, I cannot see any purpose for carrying an anencephalic baby, or one with a two chambered heart, or other condition inimical to life, to term. I know that people do...in fact have read stories of people who did so and spent five days engaged in family bonding as the baby struggled and died...it seems beyond cruel to me and something I wouldn't do...but I wouldn't take that choice from a family.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2009
Advocate for the child? So you would also make sure that the family has the health care it needs for this severely disabled child, right? You'd make sure these parents have the family leave they need to take care of a seriously disabled child and all the doctor's visits that is required and allow them to keep and hold their jobs? You would also make sure they have the mental health support that they need to cope with giving birth to a child who knows nothing but pain and early death?

Your view is far beyond hypocrisy, it could be torture for the child and it's family. Quality of family life is a choice of the family.

There
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2011
You said it MUCH more nicely than I would have.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2009
I thought maybe I'd gone too far, but who advocates for the family?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2005
The state does pick up the cost for severely disabled children. The child life workers are amazing and I do not know how they do their jobs so well of helping the family get through. The resources are in place, and yes, I fully support them and have seen them in action.

To another post. My risk of miscarriage with amnio was just as high as my risk of losing the baby because of my health. It would be like flipping a coin on my child's life. Yes, I had a choice, but not for one second did I think of it as a choice. I never considered terminating or the testing.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2007
nivri_bug wrote:
The state does pick up the cost for severely disabled children. The child life workers are amazing and I do not know how they do their jobs so well of helping the family get through. The resources are in place, and yes, I fully support them and have seen them in action.

To another post. My risk of miscarriage with amnio was just as high as my risk of losing the baby because of my health. It would be like flipping a coin on my child's life. Yes, I had a choice, but not for one second did I think of it as a choice. I never considered terminating or the testing.


Do you have any idea how long the list is?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2011
My state doesn't offer much in the way of help for severely disabled children. I found a non-profit that will help train parents how to care for their child and provide respite care so the parent can get away for a couple of hours. That's no life for the parents or the child. The fact of the matter is the brunt of the care falls squarely on the parents. They get to spend all of their time caring non-stop for a child who is suffering and is going to die.

I think it takes much more courage and selflessness to decide to not put a child through a life of pain and suffering. To me, its the same thing as having a loved one on various life support in order to keep them alive when there is no hope of any sort of recovery or quality of life. We treat our pets with much more compassion than we do our loved ones.