How do you handle playdates....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2005
How do you handle playdates....
12
Fri, 11-16-2007 - 1:28pm
and birthday parties for young children when you don't really know the parents of the child? My 8 yo dd is invited to a birthday party(sleepover). The parents are planning to take all of the girls to the movies or bowling. I don't know anything about them. I don't know if they are safe drivers,etc. My dd really wants to go, but I am totally uncomfortable with the idea. Most parents seem to be okay allowing their children to go under these circumstances. What would you do? Would you ask 100 questions and just trust what the parents say?

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2000
Fri, 11-16-2007 - 4:11pm

No, BTDT and I wouldn't let her sleepover.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Fri, 11-16-2007 - 8:42pm
do you now the parents of any of the other kids who are going - who might know this family?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2006
Fri, 11-16-2007 - 9:30pm
My girls know that we do not do sleepovers unless I know the parents. Very few of their friends have had sleepovers and I am glad. I think it is okay when they are a little older but at 9 & 6, I am happy with no sleepovers..lol! I wouldn't do it if I didn't know the parents.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2004
Sat, 11-17-2007 - 1:22am

I wouldn't allow her to sleep over but I would let her go to the party.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2007
Sat, 11-17-2007 - 9:51am

I agree with Merella.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2007
Sat, 11-17-2007 - 10:12am
I'd say no, most likely. Or, if my child was old enough, I'd trust HER judgment.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2000
Sat, 11-17-2007 - 10:15am
I don't think an explanation of why she can't sleep over is necessary.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2005
Sat, 11-17-2007 - 10:40am

That is just awful! I am also leery of sleepovers because when I was a child a friend's father made a pass at me. He offered me drugs to try and lower my inhibitions. Thankfully,

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2005
Sat, 11-17-2007 - 10:44am

Thanks everyone for your replies!


I am going to go along and help. The mom was thrilled that I was willing to come along. That is good news. So dd and I will go and stay pretty late so she can enjoy the party, then she will come home where she belongs.;-)


Truthfully, I would rather run the risk of offending another parents than to put my child in a situation that might be unsafe. My motto is "parenting isn't a popularity contest." I've made plenty of unpopular decisions and I am sure there will be more to follow.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 11-18-2007 - 4:58am
I would let dd go and I would not ask 100 questions. At age 8 I expected her to be with it enough that she could find a uniformed person if she got lost and could call me if she had a problem. She always had explicit instructions that she was to be responsible for herself as far as she was able. On outings like this there was usually a good friend of hers along, so I would instruct her to stick with her friend as well. It is hard to let them go, but I have never felt right about letting my fears hold back the kid (although it happens sometimes, obviously).

Pages