Should I or shouldn't I?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2006
Should I or shouldn't I?
37
Thu, 11-15-2007 - 4:24pm

Hi Ladies,

First, I'll give you a little background, and then I'd like some opinions. I'm not looking for a heated debate, but differing opinions are welcome as long as they aren't abusive.

I have a 27 month old son. I just happened to be downsized from my job when I was 7 months pregnant. We had not planned on my being a SAHM when we got pregnant, but it worked out that way for awhile. I ended up staying home with him for 9 months. At that point, I got a part time job outside the home. I work just 2 days a week. My MIL watched my son for me both days until he was about 16 months old. At that point, she went down to watching him one day a week, and a close family friend started watching him one day a week. Unfortunately, she can no longer take care of him, so we are looking for a new sitter now for that 2nd day. Another family member has him that one day temporarily, but it was with the understanding that I'd be looking for someone else who is acceptable.

After taxes, childcare, and other work related expenses (not counting clothes) I bring home a little less than $100 a week. Obviously, that isn't much, but it makes all the difference in our finances. We are able to contribute to a college fund for my son and still same some for our retirement. We're pulling money out of our "regular" savings acct to do it all every now and then, but that is what that money is for.

My part time jobs pays about $15,000 a year(little more with overtime). That is about $50,000 less a year than I made when I worked full time at a more professional job than I have now. We are getting by, but our cash reserves have dwindled substantially over the last year.

Here is my dilemma. My new company has some great opportunities, but they are all full time. I'm really torn about whether to go back to work full time or not.

Honestly, I have the desire to go back to work full time. My previous job was challenging and demanding, but I loved the feeling of acomplishment I got from doing my job well. And I loved the money as well.

On the other hand, I love being able to take my son to Story Time at the library, Tumbling Class and Art Class. We also have playdates during the week with other Moms in our area, and we go to our Childrens Museum at least once a month. I also love spending that time with my son and kwowing 100% that he is safe and not being neglected or abused.

If I went back to work full time, I'd have to put my son in an official daycare. My MIL has issues with back pain and just can't take care of my son more than once a week. The one day wears her out as it is. That is the part I hate.

Looking at our finances, we can afford for me to stay part time another 9 months to a year, depending on how we manage our money and whether we have any big $$ needs like needing a new furnace or something like that. There are openings in my company now, but there is no guarantee of openings 9 months from now. They are hiring more now than they have in years, and it most likely won't last a long time.

Should I try to get on full time now? Should I wait until I really need the money, and then start trying? Should I just quit altogether and start a daycare in my home? I was thinking about the last option because it would allow me to make a little money, plus let me stay home with my own son and give him some playmates. We wouldn't be able to go to all the things we go to now because of the other kids I'd have, but at least I'd be with him and know he was safe. By the way, I'm terrifed of finding the "wrong" daycare person. It only takes one time for someone to lose his/her temper and throw my child up against the wall. I could lose him in a heartbeat if I chose the wrong person.

Thanks for your opinions.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 11-15-2007 - 4:41pm

Just a few quick thoughts:


Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2007
Wed, 11-21-2007 - 7:00pm

I really believe that if a person is willing to spend a little time at looking for daycare you can find the right person.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2007
Wed, 11-21-2007 - 7:10pm

I disagree that starting a daycare should only be started as a career choice.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 11-22-2007 - 12:39pm
I dont know why you responded to me on this. I was not the one asking about daycare. My kids are older and I don't need daycare and I already work, lol.

Dj


"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~


Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 11-22-2007 - 12:43pm

Sorry but I've seen too many women who think "starting a daycare" is an easy solution to not having to go back to work. I dont necessarily think that there is anything wrong with some of the reasons you listed, but I also do not think it should be something entered into lightly. I think one

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2007
Thu, 11-22-2007 - 12:58pm

Of course it's important and serious and you make good points.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Thu, 11-22-2007 - 1:46pm
I agree, and I think her friend's on-again-off-again experience with dc proves your point.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 11-23-2007 - 12:35am


Lol, absolutely NOT. I dont think it means a darn thing.


I didnt want to put my children in daycare and in retrospect, I realize that it was a pretty irrational fear-albeit perhaps an understandable fear since I was physically abused as a child in daycare. I dont think it made me some kind of saintly mother though, nor did it turn me into the kind of person who should run a daycare. I dont have the personality to take care of a bunch of children on a regular basis and my fears of placing my children in daycare didnt make me suddenly grow the kind of personality one needs to be a daycare provider.


Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Fri, 11-23-2007 - 9:31am

I think any fear I had about harm coming to my baby dissipated after the exhaustive search for daycare transpired. I literally ate, drank and breathed daycare for 3 months, visiting centers, talking to people who used these centers, visiting home based daycares. While not a guarantee (because nothing in life is guaranteed, is it), I think finding the right center can set a parents mind at ease.


When Daniel started daycare, most of my fears

suzjuly6.jpg picture by LadyCaribou

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 11-23-2007 - 1:37pm

I don't think exhaustive searching would have made a difference for me in regards to setting my mind at ease, because of what happened to me as a child. Which doesnt necessarily make my fear rational, but I think my fears were understandable. My fear wasnt just based on some random unknown thing, but based on something I'd actually lived for over a year as a child. None of my fears were directly related to how it would make *me* feel-other than the idea of

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

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