What the hell is UP with some parents?
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| Sat, 04-05-2003 - 8:57pm |
Gift idea! $$ for Florida trip.
Okay, tacky, I thought. But forgivable.
Then, she goes to the party. This party is for 20 or so 10/11 year olds. Hmm, okay. Let's talk about what went on. Truth or Dare involving blow jobs, humping, and hand jobs. Blindfolding a kid and having him walk around with an axe. The little girl who asked for money slammed ALL the presents down, and took away only the money. Having skits where they pretended to be "high". Holliann (my dd) and her friend had enough after an hour and called her friends mom to come get them early.
She tells me about all this tonight, and how disgusted she was. How she had a horrible time. Of course, my question was: "WHERE were the parents?" Her answer? They came down to watch them open presents, that was it. Apparantly the adults had there own get-together upstairs.
Call me dense, but is there something WRONG with this picture? No, you don't have to hang onto their every moment, but don't you think with THAT many kids a little supervision is warranted? Maybe I'm a prude, but at my parties, the first kid to mention "blow job" would be out the door so fast, he wouldn't know WHAT hit him/her.
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Every time I'm sure I've finally heard it all, Annie's kids get invited to another party. ;-)
No, I don't think you're a prude. I think these people obviously needed to be supervised. I have to wonder if these parents are the type who would hotly deny that anything like that could ever have taken place in THEIR house. I knew a couple like that when my brother was in middle school. They had 5 11-year-old boys spending the night in a tent in their back yard, locked the house up so that the kids weren't able to get inside, and then squawked a LOT when these kids, whose parents believed were being supervised by this couple, got picked up on a curfew violation, walking around the neighborhood. All the kids & their parents had to go thru a court counseling program, and the people who were hosting that sleepover had a cow...they absolutely insisted that their son would never do such a thing unless he were influenced by other children. That may or may not be true, but I daresay NONE of these kids would have been running around on the streets in the middle of the night if they had been properly supervised by an adult.
I would feel the same way you do in this situation, and I'm very glad that your dd was at least mature enough to recognize the inappropriateness of the party games. Sheesh.
We recently had a party for our 9 year old son. We had it at the house and we invited about 20 kids, plus there were a few siblings around. I felt guilty because I chose not to dress for swimming and stayed out on the patio while the kids swam. I was worried that the parents would think an adult should actually go IN the pool with the kids. Like you said, they are past the age of needing to hang on to every word they say and most of them really don't want to spend loads of time with adults hovering over them.
I put food out for the adults downstairs (with a view of the pool from 2 sets of glass doors) and dh and I took turns socializing with the adults but one of us stayed on the pool deck the entire time the kids were in the pool. I do not consider myself to be overprotective at all but I am STUNNED that the parents just excused themselves to another part of the house. IMO kids this age do not have the good judgement to supervise themselves. I find that if I am around, but not taking part in their conversations they keep their conversations clean and pretty well mannered. I try to be there, but not interfere if you know what I mean.
One other thing. I HATE the idea of public gift openings at kids parties. I know it is a common practice, but I try to have my kids open gifts privately. IMO it encourages materialism. It makes me uncomfortable.
Jenna
On the other hand, now is a good time to reinforce with your dd that you are proud of her and her friend for trusting their own judgement and that will lay the ground work for her continuing to be open with you as she gets older. (something my mom never did with me or my sister) I will do this with my dd when the day comes (she is only 3 1/2) LOL!!
ttyl
nikki
sorry I rambled so much, I do that when I am irritated!!!!
The Guilty Parent,
i had a conversation with my dd when she was 10yo, and had asked if she could do something(i dont remember exactly what)i didnt think she was ready for. i explained my answer this way....... lets say your life expectancy is 80yo. you are ten years old right now, and in 8 short years you will be considered an adult. you will be an adult forever after that, and never get to be a child again, so why dont you be 10yo today, and after you turn 18, you can do grown-up things forever. she looked at me for a long minute, and said, yeah, ok, and ran off humming. she is now 19 and enjoys lots of "grown-up" priveleges, but we still let her know when she is out of bounds, which isnt very often.
it truly saddens me, when i hear and see parents allowing their children to participate in situations beyond their age. you should be soooooooooo proud of your dd for getting the hell out of there. obviously she has excellent guidance!!!! good job mom!
beth
I think Annie's daughter handled herself well and is probably ready for the responsibility. Annie-make sure you tell her how proud you are.
Jenna
It takes a lifelong committment with no assurance or guarantees to be a parent.
In other words, any moron can breed. To be a parent...THAT takes effort.
Angie
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