For a 3-year old, a SAHP can be harmful.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
For a 3-year old, a SAHP can be harmful.
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Thu, 07-03-2003 - 2:38pm
Usually I'm a lurker...but in reading the discussions below, I have to say I firmly believe that daycare is better for a 3-year old than a SAHP is. My son spends 2-1/2 days a week in a daycare center...and it has done a world of good for him. He's made friends, learned to socialize, developed independence, and had experiences doing group activities...such as gymnastics, learning the beginning skills of playing soccer, etc. I don't think you can make a blanket statement that being a full-time SAHP is always better. Plus, it's given me the opportunity to have experiences outside the home as well...working in an office, and I've been able to continue my career.

Kat

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 07-03-2003 - 2:42pm
Well, let this WOHM disagree.

While I fully believe that child care CAN be beneficial, and often is, I don't believe that the absence of it is harmful. Obviously, the absence of it causes you to lose whatever benefit it wouuld have provided, but that doesn't mean that the child is HARMED by the lack of benefit.

Many, many, many SAHP benefit their 3yos in ways that mimic or make up for the benefit that child would receive in child care. So, I don't think child care vs. SAHP for a 3yo is universally better.

The things you mentionied, socialization, gymnastics, soccer, etc, CAN be learned with a SAHP. It happens every day.

I don't think you can make a blanket statement that SAH is harmful for 3yo. I don't think you can make a blanket statement that child care is always better.

Hollie

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Thu, 07-03-2003 - 2:44pm
It doesn't have to be "daycare" though, does it? What about the children of SAHPs who get socialization through Sunday School, playgroups, or the traditional 1/2 day twice/thrice weekly preschool? How can they be "worse" off than children of WOHPs?
Avatar for cindytree
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Thu, 07-03-2003 - 2:45pm
What harm are you referring to??

You can only know for certain what is best for YOUR child. Blanket statements also can't be made that daycare is better for kids than SAHP. I know for a fact that being at home with my children was the absolute best thing for them and me. I can't presume to say what is best for yours or anyone else's. Perhaps you shouldn't make presumptions either.

Funny how being home with my kids for 22 years has resulted in four healthy, happy, normal human beings. None of them has spent one day in daycare and none of them went to preschool (one didn't even go to kindergarten) and they have done extremely well on a social level.




Edited 7/3/2003 3:18:04 PM ET by cindytree

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 07-03-2003 - 2:53pm
Preschool is good too. But I think there's something about being in a situation of daycare...where there are other kids who aren't home with a parent all day...that's good for children. And I think it's also healthy for parents to have their own activities.

Kat

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 07-03-2003 - 2:53pm
My DD2 was 3 when DD1 went off to kindergarten. She was bored at home alone during the day. I started volunteering and putting her in day care 8 hours a week and she loved it. Even though the reason I had started volunteering was to give her things to do it turned out to be very good for me also.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Thu, 07-03-2003 - 2:57pm
You can't be serious! You honestly think it's detrimental for a kid to be home with his parent(s) all day? Holy crow!

I'm a SAHM with many interests outside of DS. I hold a national office in a women's leadership organization, I get my nails done every other week (DS goes to Grandmas for that), go to lunch with friends (DS usually comes along for that)...but DS also has the benefit of having me home taking care of him all day. When he's 3 or 4, we'll do preschool a few days a week. For now, he gets his socialization through playgroups and his education from me! C

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 07-03-2003 - 2:58pm
I didn't say any age kid...I said it's detrimental for a 3-year old. See you even said you would send your child to school when he's 3 or 4...so you do agree!!!!

Kat

Avatar for 1969jets
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 07-03-2003 - 3:05pm
I don't think that just because there are benefits to preschool/daycare that a SAHP is harmful.

There are advantages and disadvantges to almost every choice you have to make. The key is picking the right balance for all family members. My son benefits greatly from his preschool/daycamp experiences (he is 4). His brothers benefitted as well. They also benefitted from the nanny, the income I earned while working, and from me being home now. Each choice has benefits and the children benefit from them. Each choice also has disadvantages. The children experience those as well.

I don't think you can jump to the conclusion that just because there are benefits to daycare that SAHPs are harmful to children.

Jenna

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Thu, 07-03-2003 - 3:06pm
Here's another WOHP who agrees with you. A good daycare/preschool can be fun and beneficial for a child, but it is not "harmful" if the child doesn't go.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 07-03-2003 - 3:09pm
I think it is harmful to the child if kindergarten is a child's first experience away from mom and dad. Going to a playgroup or other activity with a parent isn't the same thing.

Kat

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