Is 30 minutes of time with kids a day...

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2006
Is 30 minutes of time with kids a day...
594
Mon, 03-30-2009 - 4:22pm
I just have to talk to someone about this one.

Kat

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Mon, 03-30-2009 - 4:23pm
How very sad for them all. I am not sure why you are telling us all this, though. It's really none of our business.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2006
Mon, 03-30-2009 - 4:41pm
OY!

Kat

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2006
Mon, 03-30-2009 - 4:44pm
And the bigger picture item to debate, is whether you can be an effective mom when you spend 30 minutes or less a day with your child?

Kat

Kat

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Mon, 03-30-2009 - 4:51pm
30 minutes a day during the week sounds extreme. I don't know anyone working 90+ hour work weeks.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2009
Mon, 03-30-2009 - 4:57pm

My answer is, it depends.

I think that parents that work a lot of hours can have a close relationship with their child but they have to make the time they do have with them a priority.

When my DD3 was an infant there was only about 1.5 hours between the the time DH got home from work and the time she fell asleep (it was not because he was working mega hours, he was home by 5:30, it was because we could not keep her awake past 7:00). That entire time he spent with her and they have always had very close relationship.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2006
Mon, 03-30-2009 - 4:57pm
She has a one hour commute each way to work.

Kat

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Mon, 03-30-2009 - 4:58pm
I don't know what the issue is; she could be depressed, or the marriage might be falling apart, or any number of scenarios. It sounds to me, for whatever reason, that this woman isn't interested in spending a whole lot of time with her kids. It sounds like a good thing that these kids have an involved father. It's not ideal, but kids have survived far worse than living life with one involved parent and one non-involved parent.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 03-30-2009 - 5:01pm
What is there for me to say other than that's not how I would live my life. If you want me to say she's a bad mother, I'm not going to.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 03-30-2009 - 5:02pm
Me personally? I couldn't, but then I have a very needy child. This is the sort of thing that it's impossible for outsiders to know.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2008
Mon, 03-30-2009 - 5:08pm

If the relationship with the son is strained, then there's a problem that needs to be addressed.


Personally, I think the woman needs to find more time for her child and spend less time at PTA meetings, club meetings and her other volunteering activities. It's great the father is home, but apparently isn't solving the problem between the son and the mother.


This woman made a commitment to the child when she decided to have the child and apparently her 30 minute a day of quality time, or less, isn't working.

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