Is 30 minutes of time with kids a day...

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2006
Is 30 minutes of time with kids a day...
594
Mon, 03-30-2009 - 4:22pm
I just have to talk to someone about this one.

Kat

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Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Tue, 03-31-2009 - 6:36am
OK, which is exactly the reason many mothers give for working fewer or no hours, i.e. that their husbands are away from home so much. I don't think it is ideal for either parent to be away from home 90 hours a week and leaving the other parent to carry most of the load at home. OTOH, this mode of family living was the norm when I was a child. I think it tends to be harder on the parent left holding the bag than on the kids, BTW.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2009
Tue, 03-31-2009 - 6:44am

I know plenty of women whose mothers firmly disapprove of their daughter's brand of motherhood, even though said women are good Moms with well bonded kids.

In and of itself, Grandmom disapproving is insufficient grounds upon which to condemn Mom, imo. And aside from Gramma saying it's so, the OP provided no other evidence that there was a strained relationship. It's entirely possible that Gramma was, herself, a bad Mom (llke for instance telling tales behind her daughter's back), and as I said, possibly Mom simply doesn't really know HOW to form a healthy, involved relationship.

That's not to say I think Gramma is definitely a villian here OR that Mom is automatically a victim of Gramma. I'm saying there's insufficient evidence *EITHER* way. I, for one, choose not to condemn the woman. If she's really that bad a Mom, she's sowing her own garden and will live with the consequences all too soon. And if she's not, she doesn't need me dumping on her.

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Kitty

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Kitty

"If you can't annoy somebody with what you write, I think there's little point in writing."-- Kingsley Amis, British novelist, 1971 t .

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Tue, 03-31-2009 - 8:59am

I don't know what the family's emotional needs are, and maybe somehow she makes it work on thirty minutes a day, but I don't consider it ideal for a parent to be absent that much (whether it's mom OR dad). I'm also confused as to why she would rather be at a club or PTA meeting instead of with her family given how little time they already have together. Only she would know.


 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Tue, 03-31-2009 - 9:01am
excuse my last post. i thought he was a SAHD.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Tue, 03-31-2009 - 9:09am

i have a friend like this but her "involvement" of choice is girl scouts.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2006
Tue, 03-31-2009 - 9:10am
Scouts only meets for 2 hours a month.

Kat

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Tue, 03-31-2009 - 9:13am

this made me LOL.


i love soft rock but that is a depressing song.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2006
Tue, 03-31-2009 - 9:13am
That is very, very similar.

Kat

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2006
Tue, 03-31-2009 - 9:16am
It is very hard on the husband in this situation.

Kat

Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Tue, 03-31-2009 - 9:25am

Right, just as it would usually be hard on the wife in the untold number of cases where those roles are reversed.

I do think most people would prefer a better balance. But again, the kids will probably live through it in one piece. The adults are probably the ones who suffer the most in many ways.

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