ABC News on line article about split

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
ABC News on line article about split
12
Wed, 05-28-2003 - 3:09pm
shift couples. Very negative. Check it out and see what you think.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-28-2003 - 5:28pm
Do you have an addy?
Avatar for mjdphd
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 05-30-2003 - 9:25pm
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 06-01-2003 - 11:28pm
Again, these people have no idea what they're talking about. I know quite a few couples who work opposite shifts. None of them are divorced and they've been married for 20+ years. I've been married for 17 (this summer) and there is no thought of divorce here.

I like this line, though. "In fact, a recent study from the University of Maryland found that couples who work split shifts have a significantly higher divorce rate.

"Although the results belong in the 'Duh!' category, they are very telling," Nussbaum says." Yeah? Nussbaum should come to my neighborhood and check out the divore situation here. College educated/same shift couples get divorced around here. So much for that study. :-)

I wish these people would do real research (you know, like l*living* it) before they make these "duh" comments. They sound like dunces. It's like telling someone who's in a wheelchair for life what they feel like because you've done a "study" so you know. Get real. They can only fool those who don't actually live what the study is supposedly revealing "facts" about. Get real.

Joan

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-02-2003 - 10:04am
This is just, to me, further proof that researchers and reporters live in their own little world.They seem shocked that couples work different shifts sometimes-DUH to them.Nothing new there.

I also wonder if there is a class bias.I knew a drs. wife who was such a lonely person because her dh (kids grown) worked all hours of the night.I also knew many lonely wives of corporate guys who traveled a lot,too.Shift work doesn't seem to me to be much different than those two scenarios.

I have to admit my dh don't always spend a lot of "quality time" together in the evenings.It is more "eat dinner-clean the kitchen-bathe the kids do homework-get them in bed-collapse in front of the news" around here a lot of nights!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-02-2003 - 10:14am
I took ten days off from this board, came back and looked at two threads, and now I'm getting a headache. I don't know how much more of this "debate" I can participate in.

Yes, the results of the study belong in the "duh" category. Of course, people who work crappy hours for crappy pay are going to be unhappy with their lives. More mothers than ever are working -- 68% of married mothers, not to even mention single mothers -- but people still don't think there is any need for safe, affordable daycare.

Some people take shift work because they are uneducated and unskilled, others because they want to avoid paying for childcare. Parents end up working different shifts, to the detriment of their health, their sanity, their marriages, their families.

It doesn't take too much imagination to figure out why so many people would rather live what some posters on this board insist are "cookie cutter" lives.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-02-2003 - 11:41am
You seem to be making the assumption that non-dayshift hours are uniformly underpaid and offered only to uneducated workers.

I'm making more than $20/hr working night shift and I get headhunter calls for my skills regularly. Registered nurses similarly work shift work and they can hardly be considered to be earning "crappy pay".

Seems to me your opinion is based solely on your bias of what constitutes the work portion of shift work and frankly your bias isn't supported by facts. Are there crap shift work jobs? Sure. But they don't define shiftwork as a general guiding rule; if they did, people wouldn't seek out shift work jobs and there are many of us who do--deliberately.

As for the "crappy hours" portion of the equation, I find 2nd shift (evening) to be a far worse schedule than 3rd shift (mids). Working 11pm to 7am, I have my evening hours, including dinner with my family, I can enjoy an hour or so of TV in the evenings. When I come home from work, the grocery stores are open, and empty with the exception of a few retired folks and some of the more early rising SAH parents. I can schedule doctor appointments, appliance repair and other household work appointments during the day and not worry about taking off of work. I can take my pets to the vet without needing to make up time from work. I can run all sorts of errands and get all my Christmas shopping done without taking off work or dealing with massive crowds. I sleep from 10am to 6pm normally and can adjust that time backwards or forwards to accommodate errands or other familial needs with little or no consequences.

I've been offered a dayshift slot 4 different times now and turned it down everytime because what you call "crappy hours" are GREAT hours and work seemlessly for my family.

As Joan has mentioned, clearly the only people who think nightshift work means "duh, divorce" because of "crappy hours" and "crappy pay" have never worked night shift....and therefore, aren't exactly in a position to make a judgement either way.

Is it all goodness and light? Nope. But it's not the starved underbelly of society, either.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 06-02-2003 - 11:43am
You seem to be making the same mistake that you accuse these researchers of making. Why is your anecdotal experience about working opposite shifts any more representative than the results of this research? No one suggested that *all* couples who work opposite shifts will end up divorced. But it seems axiomatic to me that such a schedule would be a significant strain on any marriage. Sure, some people will deal with that strain better than others. And for many couples, the alternatives to working opposite shifts would come with even greater problems. But that doesn't mean it's easy.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 06-02-2003 - 11:46am
You raise an interesting point about traveling spouses. I wasn't thinking of myself when I read the article, but my dh travels a lot, and there are some similarities between our situation and the split shift one.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-02-2003 - 12:15pm
No, I've always been able to secure professional employment in my field, which isn't one that calls for shift work. I do know people who work in health care who work nights and weekends, and they are educated and well paid, but that's not my field. And I'd consider health care to be the exception, not the rule. It's been my experience that, in most fields that require people to work nights and weekend, you'll find the least educated and least senior people pulling the crappy shifts.

No, I don't think that working opposite shifts is an automatic road to divorce. But I also don't think saying, "well, we're each going to work eight hours a day, so let's do it on opposite shifts, so we'll be apart 16 hours each day" is necessarily the road to a happy marriage, either.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 06-02-2003 - 1:19pm
Have you ever worked opposite shifts? For how long. Why do you ASSume that it will be difficult? If you haven't lived it, your opinion is only an uneducated guess. You really have no idea if would be difficult or not. You have no idea if it would be a strain on your marriage or not. What are you basing this ASSumption on? Have you had some real life (not study) experience that you can make a valid comparison with?

Of course if you approach any situation with a bad attitude it's more likely to fail.

Why do I think my experience is more valid than some academics "Study"? Because I live it. The people I know *live* it. That makes it 100% more valid.

My aunt had an illness that left her paralyzed. Her mind was left 100%. Sharp as ever and her personality was no less forceful. Thank God. There were quite a few "experts" who came to the home to tell the residents how much they were going to do for them. These "experts" told the residents what they felt like about several situations, and told them what they needed to fix these situations. She let them talk. They had done or read all the "studies". They had worked with the elderly and disabled for "years". They *knew* better than those sitting in that nursing home what disabled and elderly people felt like and needed. After all, their (the residents') accounts were only anecdotal, and why should anyone pay any mind to them when there were Studies and work experience that are more valid. Hah! She let the boobs have it. "*Don't* tell us what we think and what we need. We'll tell *you* what we need *and* what we think. How dare you come here and presume to tell us what you're going to do for us. *We'll* tell *you* what we think, what we need, and what you can do for us." And that is why anecdotal information is far more valid than and study. Unless of course you don't visit my aunts nursing home and you can get away with pretending to be the hero while taking no one in particular into consideration. Yep, work to the Study. Duh.

That anyone would make any decision for their own lives, or *especially* for others, based on Studies is the biggest DUH of all.

Joan

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