Affording to Stay at Home

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2007
Affording to Stay at Home
1968
Wed, 12-12-2007 - 12:20am

Ever notice that those moms that SAH are usually (although not always) more well off than mothers who WOH? It seems to me, based on what I have seen, that while most women enjoy working their jobs and having a professional life outside of the home, some women prefer to stay home with their kids for a certain amount of time - whether it be 1 year or 10 years - and those women have the option to do so, while other women wouldn't even consider the option because they feel they can't afford it.

Well, it has been my experience that most women who do stay at home have

1) husbands who support the idea

2) Husbands who probably earn enough (or almost enough) to support the family.

3) Enough money to support themselves without working.

**Now I am not talking about people who get help from government agencies, I am speaking about women who do it with no outside help - just seems like most women can't because of financial reasons. So, is being a SAH mom now an "upper class" phenomenon - in general? Of course there are many SAH moms that are middle class, but if they chose to have paying jobs, they'd probably move right back up into that higher income bracket.

Blythe

http://beaworkathomemom.blogspot.com/

Working on being...Supermom!

Blythe http://beaworkathomemom.blogspot.com/ Working on being...Supermom!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 12-31-2007 - 10:58am

So then how would she buy a stand-alone home in your area with very little down and a default on her credit???

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Mon, 12-31-2007 - 11:05am

It's hard to be specific.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Mon, 12-31-2007 - 11:07am
You're preaching to the choir here;
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2005
Mon, 12-31-2007 - 11:09am

I give up. The question was to say how my kids have benefited from me staying at home vs. the child care I probably could have afforded them. Not to mention my temperament. Because I stayed home with MY kids and chose to work only 20 hours a week it has made a better home life for MY family. Unless you think the time I spend with my children have 0 impact on who they are.


My kids are smart but not gifted in a sense. They have great attitudes when it comes to learning and work hard. I doubt they would have learned how to read on their own and daycare generally does not teach children how to read if the child asks them to. They asked me to and I taught them. Otherwise they probably would have learned with the masses in 1st grade. It took a lot of time to teach them to read on the level they are reading now and we continue to work at it.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Mon, 12-31-2007 - 11:10am
So if you acknowledge that you live in a very high COL area, why is it so hard to believe that a nice apartment in a good school district could be rented for a reasonable price in one of the thousands of other communities in the United States? Perhaps it's because you live in a more urban area? In smaller cities and towns, the schools seem to be pretty economically diverse. And college towns generally have a lot of affordable rental housing in good neighborhoods (especially at colleges with graduate programs).

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Mon, 12-31-2007 - 11:13am

<>

I've lived in several apartments. None of which had kids without productive things to do hanging around OR adults that focused on cigarettes and scratch tickets in the "overall mix."


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2005
Mon, 12-31-2007 - 11:21am

A SAHM runs the club and the girls had a couple of college kids coaching their team. However, there are a few dads that are coaching the teams. No moms not even SAHMs. All the girls on my daughters' team had SAHMs or SAHDs. It might be just this area too. I live in a area where traffic is horrible. Unless you live close to work you could spend over an hour a day commuting. I hear 2 hours if you live further out. Since I live in a inner burb the commute is 30min. to work and home if you choose to head in at the crack of dawn and come home early. If you wait for reg rush hour then it is 1hr. commute to DC what would reg. take you 10 min. w/o traffic. DH works very close to home (in the same town) it still can take him 30 min. to get to work and back. It takes me 20 min. to drive the girls to soccer practice.


I am sure it is a lot different in smaller towns and places that don't have the traffic we do. In our case and in our area - unless the kids have a nanny that will drive them everywhere, mom works very close to home, or the mom works at home (very common in this area now) then the kids participate in activities associated only with the school (you don't have to drive the kids to) or weekends.


 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2007
Mon, 12-31-2007 - 11:21am

Now we're getting somewhere.


Maybe I'm just spoiled, but there are so many things about where we've been living that I'd hate to give up.

*********

Ducky

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Mon, 12-31-2007 - 11:27am
It's not about the apartment itself so much as the wider context.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Mon, 12-31-2007 - 11:30am

Maybe I forgot to say so, but it does look like getting an apartment, or moving in with grandparents, or something, anything, would be preferable to default, IMO.


Maybe you think parenting matters most, but I'm not so sure.

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