Affording to Stay at Home

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2007
Affording to Stay at Home
1968
Wed, 12-12-2007 - 12:20am

Ever notice that those moms that SAH are usually (although not always) more well off than mothers who WOH? It seems to me, based on what I have seen, that while most women enjoy working their jobs and having a professional life outside of the home, some women prefer to stay home with their kids for a certain amount of time - whether it be 1 year or 10 years - and those women have the option to do so, while other women wouldn't even consider the option because they feel they can't afford it.

Well, it has been my experience that most women who do stay at home have

1) husbands who support the idea

2) Husbands who probably earn enough (or almost enough) to support the family.

3) Enough money to support themselves without working.

**Now I am not talking about people who get help from government agencies, I am speaking about women who do it with no outside help - just seems like most women can't because of financial reasons. So, is being a SAH mom now an "upper class" phenomenon - in general? Of course there are many SAH moms that are middle class, but if they chose to have paying jobs, they'd probably move right back up into that higher income bracket.

Blythe

http://beaworkathomemom.blogspot.com/

Working on being...Supermom!

Blythe http://beaworkathomemom.blogspot.com/ Working on being...Supermom!

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2007
Thu, 12-20-2007 - 8:52am

Do expain how you doing what you want is not selfish or self serving?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Thu, 12-20-2007 - 8:54am
We went to Disney in between my 4th grade and 5th grade year. I had a blast! That's something she'll always remember.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2007
Thu, 12-20-2007 - 8:54am
Ok, here's another.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2007
Thu, 12-20-2007 - 8:56am

Yes it does.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Thu, 12-20-2007 - 8:57am
Exactly. For you, working makes you and your DH happy. For someone else, working would make him/her unhappy and working probably wouldn't make one iota of difference with regard to SES. And more power to you on the $1000/yr on wine ;)

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2007
Thu, 12-20-2007 - 8:57am
That doesn't change that the odds are stacked in your favor if you come from a higher SES.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Thu, 12-20-2007 - 8:58am
Haven't you ever heard the saying "if momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy?"

Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 12-20-2007 - 8:59am

As usual you're standing on the dock and the boat went right passed you. Sabina and I aren't talking about "oh I feel like blowing bubbles in the ktichen right now so I'm gonna" kind of stuff - we're talking about the healthy family dynamic where everyone's wishes and preferences have value and merit -- where a childs deep desire to dance/ski/play accordian/ ice skate etc... are honored to the same level a parents deep desire to write the great amaerican novel are honored-- to the best of the families ability within the reality they live in. I want to write - I can't make a living at it so I write at home at night on my own for my own enjoyement. A prime example of doing what I want to make me happy without sacrificing the financial security of my family . LIza wants to dance so she dances two classes a week but not 3 or 4 b/c she also wants to act so we balance one with the other. It makes her happy, it helps her grow and it gives her joy along with some great life lessons.

this isn't about material wants or whims -- it's about honoring what makes each member of your family unique and finding the best way for them to have the opportunity to do what they want to do. It's not about fancy vacations or ipods ... it's about listenig to who you are and who every member of your family is and finding ways for them to do the things that make them happy.

Joy is not selfish. Happiness is not self serving -- when your family is happy when your heart is joyful it is felt and experienced by everyone around you. I say to Liza all the time 'choose the joy liza -- because she has her fathers tendency to greet each day angrily -- I'm hoping I can help her find her way out of that. We each have choices and in my family we choose the joy and we choose the laughter and we choose the happiness.

"If gay Americans are not allowed to get married and have all the benefits that American citizens are entitled to by the Bill of Rights, they should get one hell of a tax break. That is my opinion,"

- Jeane "Dear Abby" Phillips, in an interview with Lisa Leff.

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Thu, 12-20-2007 - 8:59am
it has been articulated to you many times why sah is better for my family at this time - you just dont want to accept that others may know just as well as you what is best for their family.
Avatar for 4thekids2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 12-20-2007 - 9:00am

"My income increases my family's SES and SES is a predictor of how well kids turn out."

Pages