Affording to Stay at Home
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| Wed, 12-12-2007 - 12:20am |
Ever notice that those moms that SAH are usually (although not always) more well off than mothers who WOH? It seems to me, based on what I have seen, that while most women enjoy working their jobs and having a professional life outside of the home, some women prefer to stay home with their kids for a certain amount of time - whether it be 1 year or 10 years - and those women have the option to do so, while other women wouldn't even consider the option because they feel they can't afford it.
Well, it has been my experience that most women who do stay at home have
1) husbands who support the idea
2) Husbands who probably earn enough (or almost enough) to support the family.
3) Enough money to support themselves without working.
**Now I am not talking about people who get help from government agencies, I am speaking about women who do it with no outside help - just seems like most women can't because of financial reasons. So, is being a SAH mom now an "upper class" phenomenon - in general? Of course there are many SAH moms that are middle class, but if they chose to have paying jobs, they'd probably move right back up into that higher income bracket.

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Do expain how you doing what you want is not selfish or self serving?
Yes it does.
As usual you're standing on the dock and the boat went right passed you. Sabina and I aren't talking about "oh I feel like blowing bubbles in the ktichen right now so I'm gonna" kind of stuff - we're talking about the healthy family dynamic where everyone's wishes and preferences have value and merit -- where a childs deep desire to dance/ski/play accordian/ ice skate etc... are honored to the same level a parents deep desire to write the great amaerican novel are honored-- to the best of the families ability within the reality they live in. I want to write - I can't make a living at it so I write at home at night on my own for my own enjoyement. A prime example of doing what I want to make me happy without sacrificing the financial security of my family . LIza wants to dance so she dances two classes a week but not 3 or 4 b/c she also wants to act so we balance one with the other. It makes her happy, it helps her grow and it gives her joy along with some great life lessons.
this isn't about material wants or whims -- it's about honoring what makes each member of your family unique and finding the best way for them to have the opportunity to do what they want to do. It's not about fancy vacations or ipods ... it's about listenig to who you are and who every member of your family is and finding ways for them to do the things that make them happy.
Joy is not selfish. Happiness is not self serving -- when your family is happy when your heart is joyful it is felt and experienced by everyone around you. I say to Liza all the time 'choose the joy liza -- because she has her fathers tendency to greet each day angrily -- I'm hoping I can help her find her way out of that. We each have choices and in my family we choose the joy and we choose the laughter and we choose the happiness.
- Jeane "Dear Abby" Phillips, in an interview with Lisa Leff.
Yes. We. Did.
"My income increases my family's SES and SES is a predictor of how well kids turn out."
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