Affording to Stay at Home

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2007
Affording to Stay at Home
1968
Wed, 12-12-2007 - 12:20am

Ever notice that those moms that SAH are usually (although not always) more well off than mothers who WOH? It seems to me, based on what I have seen, that while most women enjoy working their jobs and having a professional life outside of the home, some women prefer to stay home with their kids for a certain amount of time - whether it be 1 year or 10 years - and those women have the option to do so, while other women wouldn't even consider the option because they feel they can't afford it.

Well, it has been my experience that most women who do stay at home have

1) husbands who support the idea

2) Husbands who probably earn enough (or almost enough) to support the family.

3) Enough money to support themselves without working.

**Now I am not talking about people who get help from government agencies, I am speaking about women who do it with no outside help - just seems like most women can't because of financial reasons. So, is being a SAH mom now an "upper class" phenomenon - in general? Of course there are many SAH moms that are middle class, but if they chose to have paying jobs, they'd probably move right back up into that higher income bracket.

Blythe

http://beaworkathomemom.blogspot.com/

Working on being...Supermom!

Blythe http://beaworkathomemom.blogspot.com/ Working on being...Supermom!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2007
Wed, 12-26-2007 - 1:43pm

I've lost track in this thread, but I knew that I had wanted to respond to you a while back, so this seems like a good place to jump back in, lol.


I don't think that anyone would argue against the idea

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Ducky

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2007
Wed, 12-26-2007 - 1:45pm

If my kids hang out with kids whose parents went to college, who read books, who attend cultural events, and who are involved in their community, and I think they're better off for it, why should that make me a snob?

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Ducky

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2005
Wed, 12-26-2007 - 1:48pm

That's all that matters in the end.

Learning life skills can never be a negative. Sometimes life happens and how you deal with it is a message to your kids. That makes all the difference IMO. I'm not a child of divorce nor is DH but I worried over the divorce of a few of my friends children because I had seen kids not fair well. In two families that I was most worried over they have built positive character values because of their life's lessons. Sometimes what is perceived to make us weaker only makes us stronger. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Wed, 12-26-2007 - 1:49pm

"But Cyndi pov that her children would be *harmed* (don't remember the exact term she used) by living in an appartment in a middle class neighborhood for a limited time, is just plain *out there*."

What is a "limited time" though? How long have you lived in your apt? Isn't been awhile?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2005
Wed, 12-26-2007 - 2:04pm

SAHM does not mean Mom stays home constantly, not in every situation. Just like you could provide many more opportunities by working, I can provide many more opportunities by not working a 40 hr job...I wouldn't have the time to provide ANYTHING. I think it's a trade-off, we give our kids time and money - some give more of one, some give more of the other.

I used to enjoy my job so I fully understand that too. We're all different.

Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 12-26-2007 - 2:06pm

living in an apartment does not harm a child -- let's be real here. there's nothing magical about parents having a mortgage or equity.... my parents never owne their own home and I still managed to GRADEATE from aREAL book learnin' college and everything!


 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Wed, 12-26-2007 - 2:11pm
I don't think there is any harm in living in an apt. My dh and I did it before we bought our house and I don't think I would ever do it again as there was nothing to show for it once we were done renting, but that is whole other thread lol!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2007
Wed, 12-26-2007 - 2:15pm

What is a "limited time" though?


Long enough to sell her house.

Ducky

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Ducky

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Wed, 12-26-2007 - 2:38pm
But not everyone does that though, aren't you still in the same apt. you moved to when you sold your house?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2007
Wed, 12-26-2007 - 2:45pm

But not everyone does that though,


If an appartment is what she can afford in order to avoid defaulting on her current mortgage, then it's a valid option.

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Ducky

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