All this talk of financial contribution

Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
All this talk of financial contribution
584
Thu, 07-29-2004 - 6:37pm
has me wondering. Personally we don't look at money as mine and his. We have all joint accounts. Neither of us has to check with the other on purchases. We buy what we need, when we want to. I don't get razzed for buying clothes, nor does he.

I've made a 6 figure income for the past 10+ years. My husband has in the past, but, he is now taking time off to stay home with our twins while I work flat out for the next 2 years. I won't make him beholdant to me because I'm earning more than he, anymore than he would, or did with me. In fact the only people in our home who have their own accounts are our twins (college fund and savings/trust fund).

I just don't get the "my money/your money" mentality. I don't get using "my" money for a vacation, or "his" money for a car. Its all our money in our house...

Just wondering how it works in your house:-)


MM, B&E

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
Mon, 08-02-2004 - 5:06pm
Yes, for me. About me. About my time. About me doing it.

You read something in there that I did not say. It was not general. You took it that way.

Paige

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
Mon, 08-02-2004 - 5:08pm
Lo & behold. You got it right on sistah!

We seem to have so much in common & now you are telling me about your daughter. Way cool!

Yes, quiet intimate gatherings is always so nice compared to large gatherings of people in social settings. That is just me. What I like.

Hey, I never gave Mom & Dad any problems either.

I'm much like my parents.

Paige

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
Mon, 08-02-2004 - 5:10pm

For me, a party is more than a small gathering of close friends. . .there are likely to be many more people at a 'party' and probably people I don't know well or at all. . .I'm not a smoozer or a small talk kinda person.


For example, if my girl friend and her kids come over for dinner and 'game night' that's not a party. . .if she and her kids and 6 or 7 other friends and their kids. . .that becomes a party.

Virgo

Virgo
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
Mon, 08-02-2004 - 5:10pm
As I said, a group of people too large to sit comfortably & socialize in the living room or watch a movie together is not to my liking.

A group to large to sit around a table at a cozy diner, drinking wine, and talking with one another is not to my liking.

If it is going to be a large group of people I just don't enjoy it. BTDT (not referring to just the one time party I expressed about earlier). No thank you.

Paige

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
Mon, 08-02-2004 - 5:12pm
I'm not opposed to social drinking.

We will often gather with friends, sit & drink wine while we talk.

We drink socially. We drink over dinner. Dh & I will go to a bar in a restaurant & have a drink before dinner.

It is the all out brawl "college type" parties that no offense, just are not the thing dh & I enjoy. Never have.

I don't enjoy gatherings of large groups of people in any party situation. Even if they were serving nonspiked kookaid.

Paige

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2003
Mon, 08-02-2004 - 5:12pm
P&JM seems to think that her way is the ONLY way. I do believe from her previous posts, she feels that she is in fact morally superior because she WOH, she waited until she was *older* to marry and have children (in that order of course) and she earns an amount equivalent to that of her spouse. If you don't do things her way, you clearly are inferior and are submissive.

*I* am a criminal in her eyes because I take advantage of tax breaks that are allotted to businesses. Unless you earn a high standard of living and happily pay more than your fair share of taxes, have a f/t nanny, who is paid well enough to purchase her own home, you just aint cuttin' it honey.

*I* am thankful that she and I don't see eye to eye, because while she seems like a good hearted person, she strikes me as a snob. Snootiness is not a trait I admire.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2003
Mon, 08-02-2004 - 5:14pm
Please show me where I said that the life you or she led as teenagers was not fun.

I'm glad you enjoyed your teenage years. I did too. I loved being a cheerleader, going to the games, being on Homecoming and Prom committees, shopping, having slumber parties with my galfriends, dating, floating down the river on summer days, working as a hostess at a local restaurant, having junk food/John Hughes movie nights with my friends, going to dances, etc. And yes, I enjoyed the occasional party where drinking was involved.

Do these things sound to you like "typical teenage crap" that isn't fun? If so, what did you consider fun?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2003
Mon, 08-02-2004 - 5:14pm
My dd and I are as different as day and night! LOL. I am NOT the quiet gathering type of gal. I am the all out twist and shout type! But I am very proud of her and woman she turned out to be.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2003
Mon, 08-02-2004 - 5:16pm
It's just when you say "it's a waste of time" re: parties and "teenage-crap" it leads some to believe that you hold disdain for it. When you say "teenage crap" what you are really saying is that you did the opposite - which was not crap - and therefore, better than your average teenager who may have done differently.

It would be like me saying I didn't do any of that "boring crap" that OKmom did. That would be insulting. Everyone has different interest. Just because they didn't do it the same as you doesn't mean their time was "crappy" or a waste.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2003
Mon, 08-02-2004 - 5:19pm
Uh, call me rude then, because I have insulted my daughter time and again. I do find small little chit chats boring, and have told her so. I'll go to her house for the intimate dinner, then we'd go out to a club for some fun, while she and her buddies have *their* uh hem, fun.

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