Am I Alone Here? I SAH but I want to WOH
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| Thu, 06-19-2003 - 12:07am |
I have been away from this board for awhile and even then I mostly just lurked, but I was always struck by some of the extreme opinions. Women who had to work were given a little slack, but those choosing to work sometimes got a pretty hard time. I am here to say that were it not for the fact that this is a pretty bad time to look for a job, and even then I would have to make a significant amount to pay for childcare, I would definitely be doing some sort of work outside the home.
So, do I fall into the "selfish mother, only thinking about herself at the expense of her children" category or does it even matter how I feel? I feel I am on the other side of the choice issue, I am home, but wish I could be working. I don't resent my children or take my frustration out on them in any way, but this is not enough. But should it be?
There may be some out there who feel I am only thinking about myself (which is ridiculous), but where do people get the notion that once we become mothers how we feel and what we want doesn't matter anymore. Do I deserve some fulfillment for myself, not at the expense of my family, but for my own peace of mind?
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My point is, while my reasons were completely different, I understand your feelings and do not feel that you're being selfish at all. Of course you deserve fulfillment for yourself...and honestly, your children deserve a mother who is fulfilled, as well.
Good luck to you! This isn't a great time to look for a job (I'm doing it, too) but it can be done!
If you'd be happier with WOH, then by all means that is what you should do. I don't see how WOH and being a good mother are mutually exclusive, and your choosing to work would certainly not be at the expense of your family. I think there are a number of women on this board who have proven that it can be done, and done well, if that is what the mother wants.
You might want to take it slow though - I think someone mentioned before that the age of your youngest might make it difficult to transition to dc. (Correct me if I'm wrong)
Good luck.
It may be a bad time to look for a job,but why not try anyway?Is it ever a really good time that often?Even if you are worried about paying for dc.you would still have a job.Soem cos offer on site dc or help paying for it.What is your field?Ilive north of Boston and dc for two kids runs over 20,000 ,but if I *really* wanted to work I would take that as an investment cost.
I know some moms teach classes at the rec center or Y.Childcare is free for them,if you are not able to find much else.
Have you tried looking,sending out resumes,monitering coonmpany websites,put out feelers?Does your are have a career center for laid off workers.
Do you really want a job,or are you just feeling isolated and off balance?
So what that there are others that love it? If you don't then you should do something to change it. If that means getting a job then go and do it.
Jenna
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