Am I a doormat? What would you do?
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| Tue, 05-13-2003 - 3:57pm |
Last fall I lost my great job, my field is saturated, so to keep busy and still make money, I started substitute teaching. As a result I now work 5 days a week, make only 10K a year, let my housecleaner go, so I'm working harder than ever and making less money. My husband is now making my car payment as I can't afford it, and he is doing this with a lot of resentment. I can barely afford groceries and clothes, but so far this system has been working.
Now the problem, summer is coming and I want to stay home. I won't be able to substitute, and I have no desire to pound the pavement. I want to stay home with the kids and work on the myriad of projects left undone over the years. Here's the kicker, I don't want to beg my husband for money, which I know I'll have to do. He earns a good salary (175K plus bonus, but no bonus this year due to bad economy). Our mortgage payment in total is $2600, we have 2 leased cars, no other debt, considerable savings (kids college is all saved for), yet my husband thinks I should find a job! Is he being unreasonable, or am I? I don't spend money, I'm pretty frugal, shop at TJ Maxx, etc. and am very low maintenance.
I am angry to the point of considering leaving him. I think it's incredibly selfish of him to "make" me work for the summer when we are quite capable of paying our bills and saving just on his salary. I have no qualms about returning to subbing in the fall and even going for my master's for a permanent teaching job - I really love it, but his attitude is frankly stunning. By the way, I am the ONLY one of our female friends, neighbors or aquaintances who works, most spend the summer (and all year round for that matter)playing tennis and shopping. What do you suppose his problem is? Or am I being unreasonable?
I welcome all opinions.

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Lauren a troll????? BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!
eileen
A lot of men these days want a woman who will bear 2 or 3 children, do most of the childcare responsibilities - AND pull in a 100K per year salary. Well they will be sorely disappointed to find that there are very few women who really want to do both.
Good luck!
Hang on a second -- aren't these people MARRIED to one another? I do not understand how/why people get married and then still keep everything "working" as though they are not. You pay this bill, I pay that bill... ridiculous. The moment this woman lost her job, they should have sat down TOGETHER to figure out what they needed to do to keep things sane. They need to do that NOW. It's never too late... unless this husband is simply a complete jerk and she should just leave him...
I think there is some jealousy there as well,as well as she is ticked off that he didn't take a better paying job when it was offered.She also thinks the extra money could pay off some extra expenses,like improvements that aren't budgeted for.Somaybe trips dh feels the same.
btw, my dad was a grocery store clerk, and made nowhere near what trips dh makes. not even a quarter, and never ever suggested my mom work. i should add, that she did teach summer school a few times by choice, but not every year, and never when we were little.
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