Are mega hours ok if you have a SAHP?
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Are mega hours ok if you have a SAHP?
| Wed, 06-18-2003 - 11:00am |
This is kind a a spin off from the equalty and careers thread. I have been reading many posts from the thread about SAHPs who have spouses who work lots of hours. Is it OK for one spouse to work 80 hours a week (assuming it's his choice), as long as there is a SAHP with the kids? Is it OK to to be a workaholic or career driven and come home at 10pm and leave the house at dawn because you have career goals that require those kinds of hours? Is that fair to the kids and ultimately fair to the relationship between dad and the child to assume the position that as long as mom is home, dad can be gone all the time?
Personally, it would make me crazy to have my dh at work 100 hours a week, regardless of my employment status. Crazy because I wouldn't want to have to handle everything that pertains to home and kids and crazy worrying that the kids were not developing a close relationship with dad. There is something to be said, IMHO, for dad beng the one to show up at some of the parent meetings, events, etc.
My bro commutes to NYC daily. He leaves at 4:30am and doesn't get home til 8-9pm every night. He misses just about everything having to with his kids and does not even get to eat one meal with them during the week. That would make me nuts.
Is it ok to have an absent parent if the other parent is a SAHP?
Susan

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Susan
What if dad works 80 hours a week, and mom SAH. Dad makes far more than what is needed to survive on, aside from college funds, retirement funds and charitable contributions. Let;s say that beyond those things, he is still bringing in a sizeable chunk of change, so he buys a Benz and the family heads off to Europe for a vacation. Is that good or bad?
Neither mom nor dad make enough for the family to live on one income, so both have to WOH. However, both mom and dad are professional and have good jobs taht bring in a good salary, but not enough for one to SAH. Also, neither job requires more than 40 hours a week. Because the bottom line is they both must work, and because they are both making decent money, they can afford a Beemer and trip to Europe. Good or bad?
Susan
I've said all along that I expect that to change when DS gets a bit older.
And FWIW, my ped and parent educator both refer to toddler separation anxiety/parental preference as developmental stages...I guess I'll inform them that THEY'RE wrong b/c someone on the internet insists it's a personality thing. C
Hope you're not a WOHM.
Susan
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