Are mega hours ok if you have a SAHP?
Find a Conversation
Are mega hours ok if you have a SAHP?
| Wed, 06-18-2003 - 11:00am |
This is kind a a spin off from the equalty and careers thread. I have been reading many posts from the thread about SAHPs who have spouses who work lots of hours. Is it OK for one spouse to work 80 hours a week (assuming it's his choice), as long as there is a SAHP with the kids? Is it OK to to be a workaholic or career driven and come home at 10pm and leave the house at dawn because you have career goals that require those kinds of hours? Is that fair to the kids and ultimately fair to the relationship between dad and the child to assume the position that as long as mom is home, dad can be gone all the time?
Personally, it would make me crazy to have my dh at work 100 hours a week, regardless of my employment status. Crazy because I wouldn't want to have to handle everything that pertains to home and kids and crazy worrying that the kids were not developing a close relationship with dad. There is something to be said, IMHO, for dad beng the one to show up at some of the parent meetings, events, etc.
My bro commutes to NYC daily. He leaves at 4:30am and doesn't get home til 8-9pm every night. He misses just about everything having to with his kids and does not even get to eat one meal with them during the week. That would make me nuts.
Is it ok to have an absent parent if the other parent is a SAHP?
Susan

Pages
He's always buying me shoes and boots, the sexy kind, he hates the Born sandals that I buy.
Edited 7/2/2003 8:36:12 AM ET by trip59
WRT the rest of your post. . .of course there are some societal schedules, but that doesn't mean that every person follows them to the "T". . .otherwise instead of serving breakfast from say 6 am until 10 am then serving lunch/dinner foods, restaurants would serve breakfast promptly at 8 am, lunch at noon, and dinner at 6 pm. If you missed those meal times then you'd be SOL.
I have already explained to you that I don't run a short order kitchen. . .but that food is offered often enough to meet my children's NEEDS. If they aren't hungry during a particular meal, they don't have to eat because food will be offered again in 2-3 hours.
But again, you read what you want out of my posts, NOT what I have written.
"Some teachers feel that the child should LEARN to follow the schedule even if they aren't interested. . .ie, story time is 20 minutes long whether you like it or not.
Too often adults feel that children should accomodate OUR time tables instead of the adult reading the cues of the child and flexing the schedule as necessary."
One can still FLEX the schedule. . .not eliminate it. . but flex it.
With younger children, it is easy to 'fix' a story time that the children are obviously not interested in by selecting another story, allowing a child to select another story, singing an active song with body motions then moving to another story, or simply allowing those children who aren't interested in the story to move to other, limited choices (Trust me, those who are really interested in the story will stay to listen to it.)
I teach a college class . . .taught one this past Spring for 85 students. . .I have a certain amount of information that I hope to cover in my lecture, but if it's obvious that a good number (doesn't HAVE to be the majority) of the students aren't getting it, then I adapt the lecture plan.
-----
Me too, only I've found the Birks & Docs are well worth the money I spend on them...
LLBean makes a good mocc. as well.
The Doc Martens are the ones that lasted me for 5 years...wearing them nearly every day.
Payless tend to hurt my feet too.
What you are doing though, is making judgements from the outside about a lifestyle and buying into stereotypes about that lifestyle, and believing that people live that lifestyle for the worst possible reasons. You're placing your own set of "standards" on it without seeing that others have different standards and circumstances. Just what you object to, rightfully, when people criticize working mothers.
"I'm not saying you have to spend all your time with your kids because you don't. I know that missing half their waking hours isn't an issue. I just can't say where you start drawing the line where the relationship becomes too difficult to maintain because of lack of time but I know that that point does exist."
The above just makes me laugh because you are so certain that you are able to figure out your life but you don't think others can figure out theirs?
I'm not 100% sure whose "side" that puts me on, though.
Pages