Are mega hours ok if you have a SAHP?
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Are mega hours ok if you have a SAHP?
| Wed, 06-18-2003 - 11:00am |
This is kind a a spin off from the equalty and careers thread. I have been reading many posts from the thread about SAHPs who have spouses who work lots of hours. Is it OK for one spouse to work 80 hours a week (assuming it's his choice), as long as there is a SAHP with the kids? Is it OK to to be a workaholic or career driven and come home at 10pm and leave the house at dawn because you have career goals that require those kinds of hours? Is that fair to the kids and ultimately fair to the relationship between dad and the child to assume the position that as long as mom is home, dad can be gone all the time?
Personally, it would make me crazy to have my dh at work 100 hours a week, regardless of my employment status. Crazy because I wouldn't want to have to handle everything that pertains to home and kids and crazy worrying that the kids were not developing a close relationship with dad. There is something to be said, IMHO, for dad beng the one to show up at some of the parent meetings, events, etc.
My bro commutes to NYC daily. He leaves at 4:30am and doesn't get home til 8-9pm every night. He misses just about everything having to with his kids and does not even get to eat one meal with them during the week. That would make me nuts.
Is it ok to have an absent parent if the other parent is a SAHP?
Susan

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The term 'banker's hours' isn't very accurate anymore.
You talked about the impact of daycare on children because they aren't with their parent. I ask you about the impact on a child when their father is working 80+ hours a week.
Rather simple question. You appear to have no problem going off about WOHM's not being there for their children. What about the fathers?
My husband's priorities are simple: 1. God, 2. Family, 3. Work. As I stated in my OP, I knew he was a workaholic when I married him. I love him and I married him anyway. His father was the same way (as was his grandfather) and it hasn't negatively impacted their relationship. Moreover, I'M HOME with my son, so I'm not worried about DH's time away from home. My job, my career, MY LIFE is raising our son. DH spends the other 88 hours weekly w/DS...I thought WOHMs focused on QUALITY time with their kids and not QUANTITY of time anyway. It's okay for you to be gone 40 hrs. a week from your kids but NOT okay for my DH to work 80 hrs a week? Give me a break. Children need their mothers, esp. at a young age--fathers are/can be rather superfluous in the day-to-day things. And before you start flaming away--think about all the single moms out there.
Unlike you, I'm not talking smack. I'm giving my opinion, which I reached through my life experience. All I've seen you do is hurl insults at me for giving that opinion. C
I humbly ask again. . .if your husband can establish and maintain a strong relationship with his son. . as your father did with you. . .WHY can't a WOHM establish and maintain a strong relationship with their child(ren)?
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