Are mega hours ok if you have a SAHP?
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Are mega hours ok if you have a SAHP?
| Wed, 06-18-2003 - 11:00am |
This is kind a a spin off from the equalty and careers thread. I have been reading many posts from the thread about SAHPs who have spouses who work lots of hours. Is it OK for one spouse to work 80 hours a week (assuming it's his choice), as long as there is a SAHP with the kids? Is it OK to to be a workaholic or career driven and come home at 10pm and leave the house at dawn because you have career goals that require those kinds of hours? Is that fair to the kids and ultimately fair to the relationship between dad and the child to assume the position that as long as mom is home, dad can be gone all the time?
Personally, it would make me crazy to have my dh at work 100 hours a week, regardless of my employment status. Crazy because I wouldn't want to have to handle everything that pertains to home and kids and crazy worrying that the kids were not developing a close relationship with dad. There is something to be said, IMHO, for dad beng the one to show up at some of the parent meetings, events, etc.
My bro commutes to NYC daily. He leaves at 4:30am and doesn't get home til 8-9pm every night. He misses just about everything having to with his kids and does not even get to eat one meal with them during the week. That would make me nuts.
Is it ok to have an absent parent if the other parent is a SAHP?
Susan

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Hollie
I knew a girl in grade school that was sexually abused by her father. Had been for years. But she seriously thought that was what all fathers did. she thought it was right becuase it was all she had ever known.
Its a poor excuse.
(note: I am not comparing your dh's working 80 hours a week to a sex abuser ... )
Hollie
Maybe by your friend working, she's going to be able to retire and fund her kids' college educations. So what if she also gets the SUV and Jamaican trips? Should she be punished for choosing to work instead of being AH? Does your friend perhaps have a career that she enjoys and has spent years building up an expertise in? Could she ALSO be working for those intangibles? You see, working isn't all about the cash.
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And you know what, my OB/GYN is a chose-to-WOHM and I'm glad. She's fabulous and certainly contributing to the greater good. C
I feel sorry for your "friends."
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Correct?
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