Are mega hours ok if you have a SAHP?
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Are mega hours ok if you have a SAHP?
| Wed, 06-18-2003 - 11:00am |
This is kind a a spin off from the equalty and careers thread. I have been reading many posts from the thread about SAHPs who have spouses who work lots of hours. Is it OK for one spouse to work 80 hours a week (assuming it's his choice), as long as there is a SAHP with the kids? Is it OK to to be a workaholic or career driven and come home at 10pm and leave the house at dawn because you have career goals that require those kinds of hours? Is that fair to the kids and ultimately fair to the relationship between dad and the child to assume the position that as long as mom is home, dad can be gone all the time?
Personally, it would make me crazy to have my dh at work 100 hours a week, regardless of my employment status. Crazy because I wouldn't want to have to handle everything that pertains to home and kids and crazy worrying that the kids were not developing a close relationship with dad. There is something to be said, IMHO, for dad beng the one to show up at some of the parent meetings, events, etc.
My bro commutes to NYC daily. He leaves at 4:30am and doesn't get home til 8-9pm every night. He misses just about everything having to with his kids and does not even get to eat one meal with them during the week. That would make me nuts.
Is it ok to have an absent parent if the other parent is a SAHP?
Susan

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Hollie
Why does it bother you so much what my family does? IT obviously WORKS FOR US! Christi
So, why can't that work for a mom who only works 40 hours a week?
"He has a relationship with his son. They have daddy/son rituals that are "their" thing."
I WOH. And I have a relationship with my kids. We have mommy/kid rituals that are "oru thing".
" Every morning, DH gets up with DS and gives him his bottle and spends 1/2 hour or so cuddling and talking and spending time together."
Every morning, I spend time wiht my kids, talking, cuddling. And I WOH.
"On Friday afternoons, he comes home at 4pm to hang out w/DS and me...usually we go to the park or out to dinner."
Many afternoons I get off early. and go to the park or out to dinner or jump in the pool. And I WOH.
" Then Saturday afternoon and all of Sunday are for more family time."
Yep. We do that too. and I WOH.
" It works. "
Yep, my WOH works too.
"DS loves his daddy and looks forward to their rituals and special time together. "
Yep. My kids love theri mommy and look forward to our rituals and special time together. And that time for me and my kids is much more than the time your dh has with your kid. But I'm evil because I WOH .. .and only 40 hours a week.
don't you get it?
Hollie
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Hollie
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