Are mega hours ok if you have a SAHP?
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Are mega hours ok if you have a SAHP?
| Wed, 06-18-2003 - 11:00am |
This is kind a a spin off from the equalty and careers thread. I have been reading many posts from the thread about SAHPs who have spouses who work lots of hours. Is it OK for one spouse to work 80 hours a week (assuming it's his choice), as long as there is a SAHP with the kids? Is it OK to to be a workaholic or career driven and come home at 10pm and leave the house at dawn because you have career goals that require those kinds of hours? Is that fair to the kids and ultimately fair to the relationship between dad and the child to assume the position that as long as mom is home, dad can be gone all the time?
Personally, it would make me crazy to have my dh at work 100 hours a week, regardless of my employment status. Crazy because I wouldn't want to have to handle everything that pertains to home and kids and crazy worrying that the kids were not developing a close relationship with dad. There is something to be said, IMHO, for dad beng the one to show up at some of the parent meetings, events, etc.
My bro commutes to NYC daily. He leaves at 4:30am and doesn't get home til 8-9pm every night. He misses just about everything having to with his kids and does not even get to eat one meal with them during the week. That would make me nuts.
Is it ok to have an absent parent if the other parent is a SAHP?
Susan

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The fact is, I earn my money in a way you'll never do. So it's morally wrong for me to want material things like you have without lifting a paid finger, but it's not morally wrong for you to live off your DH, for your DH not to see his child for the first ten years of your child's life.
See this incredibly b&tchy post reveals how you look down your nose at all of us, whether we choose to work or have to work. Congratulations! I have more in common with the single moms making 30K a year here than I do with you. This is the snootiest post I've ever read.
Oh, and by the way - make sure DH doesn't dump you for a young cutie/aka trophy wife before your DH retires, OK?
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Your "reasons" are arbitrary & biased, based on your "friend" (its a stretch to call her that, of course, seeing how you're talking negatively about her behind her back, but, I digress...) & her SUV.
You can't make a blanket statement & judgement about WOHM's who "work for stuff" as you DON'T POSSIBLY KNOW every person's/family's financial situation. How dare you judge someone for having an SUV or going on vacations? What if they need an SUV? What if the vacations are the only way they have to get away from their day-to-day responsibilities & finances, which you may know nothing of? For example: medical bills, credit card debt, student loans, business debt, caring for an elderly or infirm relative in a care center?
You have no idea about other's financial situations, and as such have no right to make a blanket judgement on people who "work for things".
Get off your high horse & look at your own family situation. If your DH needs to work 80 hours just to pay for the lifestlye & things that YOU'VE chosen then you're not at all above the duel 40 hour income families you scorn.
I'm confused. I thought he worked those long hours because he loved his work. Now he's actually just working so he can retire early. Care to clarify?
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Methinks you protest a bit too much.
Susan
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How sad.
Your suggestion that my husband would dump me for a trophy wife is indicative of just how clueless and dare I say hypocritical you are. He spends 80 hours a week away from DS and me so he's going to trade me in for a new model? Are you going to trade your kids in for a new model when they hit their teen years? After all, you and your DH spent the same amt. of time away from them, so they can't mean any more to you than you assume DS and I mean to my DH. Yeah, that's what I thought. That's "different" b/c you're the noble WOHM and I'm the lazy SAHM who get paid for sleeping with her husband. I assume you and your husband have completely different bank accounts and you only touch what is "yours?" Afterall, if he makes more than you and you use "his" money, you're no better than me, now are you?
Interesting line of reasoning you use. I'm going to do us both a favor and ignore the fact that you called me (and essentially every other SAHM on the planet) a whore and assume that was out of anger. C
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