Are mega hours ok if you have a SAHP?
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Are mega hours ok if you have a SAHP?
| Wed, 06-18-2003 - 11:00am |
This is kind a a spin off from the equalty and careers thread. I have been reading many posts from the thread about SAHPs who have spouses who work lots of hours. Is it OK for one spouse to work 80 hours a week (assuming it's his choice), as long as there is a SAHP with the kids? Is it OK to to be a workaholic or career driven and come home at 10pm and leave the house at dawn because you have career goals that require those kinds of hours? Is that fair to the kids and ultimately fair to the relationship between dad and the child to assume the position that as long as mom is home, dad can be gone all the time?
Personally, it would make me crazy to have my dh at work 100 hours a week, regardless of my employment status. Crazy because I wouldn't want to have to handle everything that pertains to home and kids and crazy worrying that the kids were not developing a close relationship with dad. There is something to be said, IMHO, for dad beng the one to show up at some of the parent meetings, events, etc.
My bro commutes to NYC daily. He leaves at 4:30am and doesn't get home til 8-9pm every night. He misses just about everything having to with his kids and does not even get to eat one meal with them during the week. That would make me nuts.
Is it ok to have an absent parent if the other parent is a SAHP?
Susan

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Those were the Mon-Fri hours that banks were traditionally open for retail business.
Which never really meant that people working in banks actually were actually working those hours. Once up on a time there was alot of paperwork and clerical work to proceed and follow up a banking business day.
I suppose that some of the executives might have cut out early sometimes to go cultivate clients on the golf course, but most of the staff worked really long hours, just not where members of the public could see them doing it. She was the exec. secretary for the president of the bank, and she told stories about how certain VIP's would sometimes be admitted to the bldg. after closing for special transactions, often involving large amounts of cash.
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Oh I see now, you're husband isn't working for "things" now. He's working for "things" later, while being away from his family 80 hours a week now for the next, what, 10, 15 years? So that makes it okay? Makes him free from the judgement you're dishing out to duel-income families?
I don't see any difference between the duel 40-hours a week families you are vilifying for working for "things" now when your dh is abandoning his family for 80-hours a week now to work for "things" later.
Pfffffttttt! Bring it on. Christi
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What an awful post.
Second, what's wrong with working for things? Who cares what someone's motives are for working. The situation is the same either way. That bigger house just might be in a better school district. That SUV just might be taking the kids back and forth to enriching activities. You talk like having nice things in your life and working to provide a better life for your family is bad.
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Yet you think WOHM who are working for the SAME THINGS are bad mothers?
Geesh.
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