Are mega hours ok if you have a SAHP?
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Are mega hours ok if you have a SAHP?
| Wed, 06-18-2003 - 11:00am |
This is kind a a spin off from the equalty and careers thread. I have been reading many posts from the thread about SAHPs who have spouses who work lots of hours. Is it OK for one spouse to work 80 hours a week (assuming it's his choice), as long as there is a SAHP with the kids? Is it OK to to be a workaholic or career driven and come home at 10pm and leave the house at dawn because you have career goals that require those kinds of hours? Is that fair to the kids and ultimately fair to the relationship between dad and the child to assume the position that as long as mom is home, dad can be gone all the time?
Personally, it would make me crazy to have my dh at work 100 hours a week, regardless of my employment status. Crazy because I wouldn't want to have to handle everything that pertains to home and kids and crazy worrying that the kids were not developing a close relationship with dad. There is something to be said, IMHO, for dad beng the one to show up at some of the parent meetings, events, etc.
My bro commutes to NYC daily. He leaves at 4:30am and doesn't get home til 8-9pm every night. He misses just about everything having to with his kids and does not even get to eat one meal with them during the week. That would make me nuts.
Is it ok to have an absent parent if the other parent is a SAHP?
Susan

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Susan
I don't see any difference between the duel 40-hours a week families you are vilifying for working for "things" now when your dh is abandoning his family for 80-hours a week now to work for "things" later.
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>>>(your response)>>>Of course you don't, and you never will. Different strokes...
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What do you mean "of couse I don't & never will"? Is there something about me that I've disclosed which would lead you to believe that I'm somehow incapable of understanding the hypocrisy & judgements you've thrown out in your posts?
Different strokes? No...you're plainly stating that duel-income families who work 40 hours a week & get to share in parenting when they aren't at work & work for things are somehow worse that one-income families who have one parent covering the 80 hour gap for the other parent who chooses to be away from his family to work for things.
Its not different strokes. Its plainly out there. You're judging others yet, really, you have no room to do so, considering your own situation.
Susan
Susan
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How not? Because no one has the right or ability to fairly & justifyably judge another "group" when they don't have all the information. You CAN'T know everyone's financial situation, and therefore, you can't know that a person who has an SUV is "working for the wrong reasons".
I've addressed all of this to you before, and you chose to ignore the post.
Hollie
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