Are mega hours ok if you have a SAHP?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Are mega hours ok if you have a SAHP?
1499
Wed, 06-18-2003 - 11:00am
This is kind a a spin off from the equalty and careers thread. I have been reading many posts from the thread about SAHPs who have spouses who work lots of hours. Is it OK for one spouse to work 80 hours a week (assuming it's his choice), as long as there is a SAHP with the kids? Is it OK to to be a workaholic or career driven and come home at 10pm and leave the house at dawn because you have career goals that require those kinds of hours? Is that fair to the kids and ultimately fair to the relationship between dad and the child to assume the position that as long as mom is home, dad can be gone all the time?

Personally, it would make me crazy to have my dh at work 100 hours a week, regardless of my employment status. Crazy because I wouldn't want to have to handle everything that pertains to home and kids and crazy worrying that the kids were not developing a close relationship with dad. There is something to be said, IMHO, for dad beng the one to show up at some of the parent meetings, events, etc.

My bro commutes to NYC daily. He leaves at 4:30am and doesn't get home til 8-9pm every night. He misses just about everything having to with his kids and does not even get to eat one meal with them during the week. That would make me nuts.

Is it ok to have an absent parent if the other parent is a SAHP?

Susan

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2003
Thu, 07-03-2003 - 9:26pm
"Of course, I've seen the results first hand and think my son is turning out just fine, so I'm a little biased."

Isn't your son like, 17 months old? That's a little too soon to know whether he's heading for reform school or not.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Thu, 07-03-2003 - 9:29pm
So you're speaking from first-hand knowledge of reform school then? C
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Thu, 07-03-2003 - 9:30pm
You're entitled to your opinion and I'm entitled to mine. Isn't this a great country we live in? C
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 07-03-2003 - 9:39pm
But your dh is the daddy .. and you can't be that.

Hollie

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2003
Thu, 07-03-2003 - 9:41pm
I'm just impressed at the spin it takes to turn a Financial Planner/Asset Manager into such an altruistic, helping, for the greater good of society profession. That's the funniest thing in this whole arguement!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2003
Thu, 07-03-2003 - 9:45pm
No, first hand knowledge of toddlers.

Don't you see how humorous to assume that a 17 month old has "turned out" anyway at all? He's just marinating at that stage.


Edited 7/3/2003 9:47:36 PM ET by trip59

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Thu, 07-03-2003 - 9:56pm
Maybe not, but right now DH and I believe he needs mommy more than daddy. C
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Thu, 07-03-2003 - 9:58pm
Glad you're amused by it...DH is what he is. Are you saying that financial planners/asset managers aren't altruistic and don't help the greater good of society? Perhaps it's time you get a new one...or do you not have a financial planner, either? C
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 07-03-2003 - 9:59pm
You are.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Thu, 07-03-2003 - 10:00pm
If he's just "marinating," why does it matter so much to you ladies with whom he spends the majority of his time? Why should DH's absence matter so much?

I LOOOOVE how y'all turn things around on this board. Talk about SPIN! C

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