Are mega hours ok if you have a SAHP?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Are mega hours ok if you have a SAHP?
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Wed, 06-18-2003 - 11:00am
This is kind a a spin off from the equalty and careers thread. I have been reading many posts from the thread about SAHPs who have spouses who work lots of hours. Is it OK for one spouse to work 80 hours a week (assuming it's his choice), as long as there is a SAHP with the kids? Is it OK to to be a workaholic or career driven and come home at 10pm and leave the house at dawn because you have career goals that require those kinds of hours? Is that fair to the kids and ultimately fair to the relationship between dad and the child to assume the position that as long as mom is home, dad can be gone all the time?

Personally, it would make me crazy to have my dh at work 100 hours a week, regardless of my employment status. Crazy because I wouldn't want to have to handle everything that pertains to home and kids and crazy worrying that the kids were not developing a close relationship with dad. There is something to be said, IMHO, for dad beng the one to show up at some of the parent meetings, events, etc.

My bro commutes to NYC daily. He leaves at 4:30am and doesn't get home til 8-9pm every night. He misses just about everything having to with his kids and does not even get to eat one meal with them during the week. That would make me nuts.

Is it ok to have an absent parent if the other parent is a SAHP?

Susan

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2003
Thu, 07-03-2003 - 10:01pm
Too funny! Yes, we do have a Financial Planner, and he does it for his commission check, not for the greater good of society. You don't really expect anyone to believe that there is any other reason than that do you?

Is that what he tells you? And you believe him?


Edited 7/3/2003 10:05:02 PM ET by trip59

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2003
Thu, 07-03-2003 - 10:03pm
If you knew anything about cooking, you'd know how important the marinade is.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Thu, 07-03-2003 - 10:07pm
You don't know my husband...he does it b/c he genuinely likes helping people. Wow, is that sooo hard for you to believe? My DH always acts in the best interest of his clients, it's NOT about the $$$ for him (if it was, wouldn't he put his clients in the funds that made HIM the most money, regardless of what it did for them?)

I feel sorry for you. I think it's rather sad that you can't comprehend someone in that field doing it to help people and not just for the paycheck. And I'd get a new planner with more than his commissions in mind. C

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Thu, 07-03-2003 - 10:08pm
Do you have a point? C
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2003
Thu, 07-03-2003 - 10:18pm
Wow. Either you're incredibly gullible or you're a better salesperson than your husband. Thanks, we're happy with our FP, and any idiot knows that a wise planner always acts in his clients best interests if they want to keep and if they want long term pay-offs and loyalty. I'm assuming your dh isn't a fly by night amateur out to make a quick buck.

He really ought to get you out there in front of his clients, he does it because he genuinely likes helping people - that's rich. If that's the case, maybe he ought to work in a shelter rather than in an industry centered around making money and building wealth. There's nothing altruistic about it, unless you consider making $$$ for himself and others a worthy cause.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2003
Thu, 07-03-2003 - 10:22pm
Yes. For someone who villifies woman who work in fields that you don't consider "for the greater good", you seem to have no problem with a husband who works in a field solely based on greed (not that there's anything wrong with that). Can you spell H-Y-P-O-C-R-I-T-E?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 07-03-2003 - 10:26pm
a Bank Teller works bankers hours....real bankers work in excess of 60 hours a week...and in hot sectors they can top 80 plus hours a week.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 07-03-2003 - 10:26pm
Hee hee hee...Hollie, one of those examples of a snarky posts you gave was mine. It was post 613. But in MY defense it was only after the big "SIGH - have you read the entire thread" post she wrote to Laurenmom. Couldn't help it. That post practically begged to be taken down a notch or two.

Besides it's apparent when someone wants to give opinions and then cry foul when asked to back up such claims, they themselves aren't here to debate. Beating your head against a wall? I'm guessing there is a better chance of a wall getting the points made here.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 07-03-2003 - 10:28pm
bankers hours refer to bank tellers and people working in a bank. Bankers(as in people who work in banking on wallstreet are a whole different breed) they work mega hours.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2003
Thu, 07-03-2003 - 10:30pm
Yeah, I know. Maybe the phrase was coined from the limited hours banks used to be open. Whatever, we get the drift.

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