Are mega hours ok if you have a SAHP?
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Are mega hours ok if you have a SAHP?
| Wed, 06-18-2003 - 11:00am |
This is kind a a spin off from the equalty and careers thread. I have been reading many posts from the thread about SAHPs who have spouses who work lots of hours. Is it OK for one spouse to work 80 hours a week (assuming it's his choice), as long as there is a SAHP with the kids? Is it OK to to be a workaholic or career driven and come home at 10pm and leave the house at dawn because you have career goals that require those kinds of hours? Is that fair to the kids and ultimately fair to the relationship between dad and the child to assume the position that as long as mom is home, dad can be gone all the time?
Personally, it would make me crazy to have my dh at work 100 hours a week, regardless of my employment status. Crazy because I wouldn't want to have to handle everything that pertains to home and kids and crazy worrying that the kids were not developing a close relationship with dad. There is something to be said, IMHO, for dad beng the one to show up at some of the parent meetings, events, etc.
My bro commutes to NYC daily. He leaves at 4:30am and doesn't get home til 8-9pm every night. He misses just about everything having to with his kids and does not even get to eat one meal with them during the week. That would make me nuts.
Is it ok to have an absent parent if the other parent is a SAHP?
Susan

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The Mommy Test
I was out walking with my then 4 year old daughter when she picked up something
off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I asked her not to do that.
"Why?"
"Uh," I was thinking quickly, everyone knows this stuff, "Um, it's on the
mommy test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a mommy."
"Oh."
We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently
pondering this new information.
"I get it!" she beamed. "Then if you flunk, you have to be the daddy."
It's a joke. ROTFLMAO...DH emailed it to me! At least HE has a sense of humor. C
She just doesn't seem to get that the bulk of us have somewhat higher standards for fatherhood...and parenting in general.
Just my opinion.
and he also has my example, whereby I refused a marriage proposal, because it wouldn't have worked and it's better to be alone than in a bad marriage.
Funny how, when questioned, it didn't occur to you to mention the marriages around you as augmenting support.
One of the reasons that statiscally mothers bear more of the childcare burden is because of familes likes yours. The mothers like the power of having control of the home front and the fathers are happy not to have to deal with it.
But just the mothers are doing more of the hands on work it still does not mean that fathers are not important or needed.
Edited 7/4/2003 8:24:36 AM ET by texigan
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